I have been on JDate going on about three years now and in that time I have gone on one date. My profession in the entertainment industry is not conducive to dating. I just got out of a seven month relationship with a shiksa which only made me realize how much more I want to be with a Jewish woman. I am confident, good looking and funny, plus I love to dance and cook but I’m also a bit of a tough guy as well. JDate hasn’t come through for me but I want a nice, beautiful, Jewish woman in my life.
Dear Dating in the Entertainment Industry,
It is difficult to date when you’re in the industry, I totally get that. You really have to change your mindset when you leave the office and go online because JDate is not an audition for looks only (or acting ability). You probably see beautiful women all day long and those women are for the most part not a realistic sampling of the real world. So make sure your expectations are realistic. Once you get your mindset in the right place, alter your preferences to reflect that. I’m not saying you’re the problem, but I have a feeling the line between work and play is a blur for you. You definitely seem to have the right character and personality traits, but you need to prove you have them not just say you have them, so make sure your About Me paragraph captures all that you say you are. And when you write a woman an email, IM her and go on a date with her, don’t name drop or talk the industry talk. Just be you.
If you have read my blog before you can gather that I have watched one too many fairytale Hollywood romantic movies in my time. On a recent double date, being kids in a candy shop “literally” in Dylan’s CandyLand, the other woman on the date conveyed to me that she believed in “soul mates” as we passed the licorice aisle. This got me reflecting past the Pop Rocks…In my past, there have been a few people who I thought could potentially be my soul mate, but ultimately as dynamic as these relationships were, they faded. A friend, who also happens to be a relationship expert and author, has told me time and again, ‘The people who you may be attracted to, may not actually be the right person for you.’ Through the years, I have been fortunate to date and meet some great folks, I think my fairytale-like notion of a soul mate has changed and now differs from my Dylan’s partner in crime. Yeah, there are a few soul mates that may meet (is it revisionist history, though?) but they are the exception far more than the rule. I am now more of the mindset that “love” is a verb, a choice you make. It is the person you choose to maturely love, and is a partner that survives the trenches with you, the ups and the downs, who I believe is your true sole mate.
I read an interesting article the other day that proclaimed Valentine’s Day as the biggest break-up day of the year?!? Huh? Isn’t this the holiday designated to commemorate romance and love. I guess Hollywood, Hallmark and gender differences probably don’t help with the pressures and expectations imposed on this day that often send emotions running.
Some women, hoping for a commitment, are left analyzing what the heck a stuffed penguin signifies in relation to their future. I asked my friend what romantic gesture he did for his live-in girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. When he responded “nothing” my jaw dropped in surprise. And then admittedly, he revealed the bloodiness that transpired as a result of that misstep. Bottom line: assess the strength of your relationship on the other days of the year. Ladies: “in general”, men don’t view this Hallmark-created holiday the same way you do. Cut some slack on this one. Men: TRY to at least do something thoughtful, even small, that you may not normally do. Trust me, it will save you from a dreaded discussion and any necessary band-aids.
So the Schmooz-A-Palooza® came and went and all those who think it’s nice to be naughty ventured out to the Sunset strip for an evening that was absolutely unbelievable. Mix a little couture, cocktails, and a cute crowd and nothing could go wrong. I was lucky enough to have my fave wing girls on hand for various cute boyfriend sightings. Boyfriend: Noun, slang for possible future dating contestant. There were too many boyfriend sightings to count, and with the various raised hemlines, I’m sure these boys weren’t disappointed. With everyone dressed to impress, liquid courage in hand, and a million different options, it made me wish St. Nick would haunt Hollywood at least twice a year. You may think making out is not entirely a spectator sport but locking lips was not exactly a behind the scenes event that night. In fact, the backstage pass was handed out by several people, and though it wasn’t all access, the stalkerazzi still had something to talk about the next day. We left oh-nine looking fine. Here’s hoping twenty-ten is a total dime…
‘Tis the season for friends, food and a whole lot of calories. In between the gift hunting, mall madness, and general holiday stress – the party of the year is fast approaching! Christmas Eve used to mean Chinese food and movies, but thanks to JDate, we’ve revamped that jaded idea into an excuse to stay out ‘til dawn enjoying those Hollywood nights. So instead of stressing over what to do – obviously there’s only one right choice and clearly no excuses, seeing as no one has work the next day – head to the House of Blues on Sunset for a little holiday debauchery and some sub-zero scandal! What I like the best is this event’s innate ability to reintroduce you to people you haven’t seen in years, forgot existed, and look fabulous at the same time. Think of it as a Jewish ten-year reunion stocked with cocktails and couture. So when the lines get blurred between a little naughty and oh-so-nice, remember, what happens on Sunset always stays there!
In an effort to ditch the guys I know I shouldn’t want, but tend to get anyways, I started looking for potential dates in places other than the usual Hollyweird hotspots. What I failed to notice, since apparently it’s been five years since I’ve had a crush and not a crash, was that most of the great guys are always right in front of you. Now, I’m totally against the available “meat” (& greet) market available at the gym. I’m more of a get in, get out, go home kind of girl (insert obvious that’s what he said joke), so I failed to notice that the cardio wasn’t the only thing making my heart race. Instead of the obvious five second once-over that you get along with any cocktail and club cover, the flirty faux friendships formed at any fitness joint are cause for something that has an expiration date beyond that of a one night fling thing. So, take the cardio from the elliptical to a post-work-out wind-down that serves as motivation to stay in sleek shape.
The dating scene in uber sunny So Cal is great for a million different reasons, namely the variety of options it offers its chic inhabitants when it comes to courting. This week, I suggest taking a break from those haute Hollywood nights and heading over the canyon and straight to the beach! Just because this swine flu sitch has utterly cramped my would-be sun-soaked Cancun extravaganza, does not mean it will keep me from enjoying a little fun in the sun. Come hell or high water, I am getting a tan this summer and I am trading in my porcelain persona for a not exactly redder is better type deal, thanks to industrial strength SPF. One of my fave parts about California is our thousands of hideaway beaches begging locals only to come and bask in the often too strong but oh-so-tempting UVA. Just make sure you and your date, or friends, stock up on the post excursion aloe, because getting high on sun stroke is a less then likely way to score a second date with your little beach bunny. See you at…well, I’m not giving away my favorite place to frequent, so find your own! I do promise a beachy-keen time, where the people watching alone is incentive enough- of course, that holds true for almost every Los Angeles locale.
under Single Life
So with the rising temps in L.A., everyone is ready to come out and play at night- models, rockstars, and pests. Some guys simply excel in their ability to bug anyone in the vicinity, and inhabitants of the hills have learned strategic moves early on to avoid annoying gnats. First off, boys, let’s talk about opening one-liners. Asking a girl if her father is a thief or a gardener, or if there is a mirror in her pants is not going to help get you anywhere near her, let alone in her. No number of glasses of low cal white wine is going to make any of those oh-so-appealing lines seem any less appalling. The A for effort you were hoping to gain will be replaced with an F for something you undoubtedly won’t be doing that night. Moving right along, lets talk about sleek rather than street savoir fair. In case you haven’t noticed, girls take more than five minutes to get ready, so don’t think you can get away with a wife beater and flip flops. There is a reason grunge died along with Kurt Cobain in the 90s, and while there is always something to be said for low maintenance style, hygeine also offers some serious sex appeal. If girls are willing to flit across sunset in stillettos, the least you boys can offer is a sentence that uses at least one word with more than two syllables. Any less and we’ll be countering with a one-up au revoir. Any Hollywood chick knows the sacrificial statement 4-inch heels exhibit, so if the girl is willing to suffer, the least a guy can do is avoid telling me that though he’s not Fred Flinstone he’ll make my Bedrock. A one-liner like that and he’ll be socially extinct like the rest of the homo erectus men from days of yore. The right ettiquette can help a girl go from zero to lust in 3.5 seconds, so if you don’t plan on sleeping alone, avoid telling your target that her shirt would look better on your floor- or the only date you’ll be getting is with your tivo.
In A Los Angeles Minute….
My weekend was a complete blur between the drinks, my girlfriends, and jetlag (so to speak, and so it seemed). My Saturday night started out with the girls. I parked in Siberia to get to a fiesta that had us hiking south of the border (Mexican themed, clearly). The party was great and these hostesses with the most-ess were clearly thinking outside the bun! My little posse however had also rsvp’d to a different engagement and so after about an hour of margarita madness, we were on our way to a cute little neighborhood bar in WeHo with our cell phones, lip glosses, and passports in hand.
Apparently we didn’t get the memo that it was celebrity night at this dive and the stars were slumming for sure (Just trying to keep it real I’d assume, or do they need to ‘up’ their street cred for call sheets?). Well, it looks as though my jet setting was not about to end anywhere near the border, because in a Los Angeles minute I was face to face with gents from South Dakota, and later in the night, from Arkansas. Now it will probably come as a shock to you that these gents were out here to make it big on the silver screen, armed with a not-so-crystal-clear perception of how things really go down in my star-studded city. Now, in a city where casting couches are taken for a ride as often as the new Audi A5’s, a girl’s got to have some rules in order to keep her sanity. These rules of course, are subjective to each gal on the go! For example, one of my favorites is friends don’t let friends date actors. This has proven well for me, because if Fleetwood Mac is right and “players only love you when they’re playing”…well, I can’t waste time on a playboy actor who’s ready to switch leading ladies as often as Fred Segal gets new merch.
So at around 2 a.m., I was ready to head home, jetlagged from another amazing night over the hill and through the canyon into Hollywood. I bid adieu to the cross country nomads that came here with the intention of making it big in a city that has the attention span of a goldfish. I told them to “break a leg,” and walked away, armed with new numbers in my cell, my ‘go-to’ girls, and stories that were well worth the chaos. In a city with a fault line as unstable as the majority of celebutantes and their accompanying headlines, you enjoy every second you have, because like inhabitants near the San Andreas fault line know, everything can change in a Los Angeles minute.
under Online Dating
Well, I’m SweetLo, your average 24 year old just trying to survive the dating scene in the city of angels. Born and raised in Los Scandalous, I learned early on that in the royal tradition of former inhabitants of my silver-screen laden city that most guys I met were in fact playing a part; and that I was even lucky to find someone else from the same state, let alone city, when I went over the hill into Hollywood. This hasn’t exactly discouraged me.
In fact, it’s quite the race to find a nice Jewish boy, whom I think recently was added to the endangered species list. So I occupy my time by working out and going out with the girls, always optimistic that the night will be fun, an experience, and always an adventure. I am almost twenty five and I’m still putting my relationship status in quotation marks as if my actions are alleged and I’m liable to change beaus at a moment’s notice. Or perhaps they’ll trade me in for a different model. It’s a tricky business when you gamble on love, but if you don’t play big, you’ll never win big. It seems it’s simply a matter of deciding how much you’re willing to bet, and most gals would give anything in hopes of a happily ever after. So I guess Whitney has the City, Lauren has the Hills, and I have Hollyweird; let the games begin.