Third Person Profile

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

While perusing JDate profiles and looking for ways in which I can help people improve their odds on JDate, I came across a number of profile Q&As written in the third person. WHAT??? The title of the section is called “About Me,” so you decide to write an “About Him/Her” about yourself? This doesn’t make any sense.

If you’re creating a profile for a friend or family member, then say so in your first line and even in your username. But in all of the instances I came across, this was not the deal. It was disarming at first and I had to reread many of the lines to make sure I was seeing straight. The weird thing is, it takes more effort to write about yourself in third person than it does in first person. I strongly suggest editing your profile if that’s the way it was written. You can say, “friends describe me as,” but not “can be defined as” or “likes being referenced as.” And never use the “he/she” when you could just say “I” or “me.” Take down the walls and let other JDaters see the real you!


New Member Needs

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

Dear Tamar,

HI!  I am new to JDate – I have been a member for about 6 weeks and I am not getting much response.  I do not know what is wrong, and I assume it is something in my profile.  I cannot get any positive feedback from anyone online and do not know who else to ask. Any advice you could offer would be appreciated.

Dear New Member Needs,

Thanks for providing your screen name so I can check out your profile and give you feedback. I’m going to start with the photos. The first one is great! Bravo on that! The second is just a close-up of the sixth photo, which I think is better because it shows your body type which is important, so eliminate the 2nd photo. The 3rd and 4th are cute but the 5th is questionable. I know it’s you and your Mom, whom you talk about in your profile, but it’s obvious that it’s dated and to be honest it’s difficult to garner much from it because of the distance.

Regarding your About Me paragraph I would leave out the part about your Mom and save that for when you’re actually on the date. I know it must have been a difficult part of your life, but it’s a downer. This line: “Another is cooking. I have been told I am quite good at it…” should be changed to: “Another passion is cooking. I’ve been told I’m quite the chef and look forward to proving it to you.”

I like what you said in My Ideal Relationship and My Past Relationships. My Perfect First Date is fine, but I would edit I’m Looking For from: “Well-educated man, money is not important, intelligence and education are – once an educator always an educator. A very close second is a man who is faithful. Honesty is a must. Funny is always enjoyable. A man who likes to have fun!” to something along the lines of: “a well-educated man who is also intelligent (two different things). Money isn’t important. Honesty is. I’m looking for a faithful man who can make me laugh and likes to have fun!”

I like that you’re open to all marital statuses, but I would extend your age range. You’re willing to go 10 years younger but only 5 years older? Why not 10 years on each side then? Can’t hurt, right?

Once you’re done editing, add two new photos to replace the ones you’re eliminating. Take new ones this weekend (have a friend snap away, get different angles including full body) and start doing some Flirting. Write me in a few weeks and let me know how it’s going!


What if you just don’t write well?

by jpompey under Online Dating,Relationships

Most people want to learn how to write a profile but just are not great writers.  This can be a tough situation.  Online dating profiles reveal not just your likes and dislikes, but your characteristics as well.

For example, if I write a profile that has a lot of errors, isn’t fluent, or just doesn’t grab the attention of others, women may assume that I’m lazy, don’t take online dating seriously, or might not be that smart.

This may not be entirely fair but it without a doubt happens.

The truth is, I know many brilliant people who just aren’t the greatest writers and it is sad to be sabotaged by this.

My advice?  Either ask a friend who writes well to complete your profile, or find an online dating profile writing service.  It may be embarrassing to ask a friend.  It may cost a little money to hire someone.  But with the overwhelming amount of competition out there these days, it is important to get any edge possible.

Too many men ignore the importance of how to write a profile.  It is critical and should never be underestimated.