Today Tamar is giving a few profile tips for JDater Jane:
You’ve got a full profile so we’ve got a lot to get to. Let’s start from the top. Not in love with your username, but I’m assuming it’s your Hebrew name so it’s a unique take. You have so many interests that I think you could switch up and even use a variation of your email address “SeeJaneBake.”
You have 10 photos, which is okay, but unnecessary. #10 (your nephew’s Bar Mitzvah) is the best! Make it your profile photo. Keep the original #1 in the second slot, make the dog pic the third photo, and the black and white photo your fourth. Finally, put the Halloween hat as fifth and eliminate the rest. If you can take or find a photo that shows your body style then add it as sixth pic. The others are out of focus, or simply not as flattering.
Beginning with your “About Me” — you started off well, but ended on a less than positive note. Your first paragraph is okay, but I suggest deleting the second paragraph. I understand that dating is frustrating and that not receiving a response to an email is irritating, but your JDate profile is not the place to vent or lecture. Instead, I’d move part of your paragraph from “A Brief History of My Life” to this section, but toned down somewhat. “Call me Calamity Jane… I’ve experienced more tragedy than most people do in a lifetime, but I’m still standing. I’m a survivor and I’m proud. What does not kill you makes you stronger and I’ve also managed to keep a smile on my face along with a positive attitude through it all.”
I like your attitude about your divorce and about your past. Your age range is decent — 50-65 is good for a 58-year-old. Perhaps pushing it up three years would be beneficial — 53-68. I believe reordering your photos, spicing up your profile name, and editing your paragraphs to be simpler and more positive will translate into more contact by great prospects!
To learn more about revamping your profile visit www.HowToWooAJew.com.
under Date Night
The “About Me” paragraph in your JDate profile is crucial. You could have the best photos, but if you write the wrong thing, you’re going to attract the wrong prospects. Sure, you’ll likely still get lots of attention, but it may be for the wrong (ie. superficial) reasons.
Writing the right words is not easy. First and foremost you want to sound like an educated, coherent, charming, trustworthy person. That doesn’t mean you say that you “are educated, coherent, charming, and trustworthy.” The key word in that sentence was to “sound” like all those things, not just say that you are them. That also doesn’t mean that you write multiple paragraphs explaining why you are all of these things in detail either. Rather, make sure that you proofread, be consistent throughout your profile, don’t be too serious or too flippant about the process, and allow your personality to shine through.
Secondly, you don’t want to spend all the space talking about what you have to offer or what you are looking for. Talk about who you are and what’s important to you in life and you will attract the right type of people. Don’t get into your relationship history except to briefly state if you are divorced, widowed, and/or a single parent.
Don’t forget: your online dating profile is already providing a lot of typical first-date conversation information, so don’t over-share any more than you have to and keep some interesting tidbits about yourself for the date itself!
While perusing JDate profiles and looking for ways in which I can help people improve their odds on JDate, I came across a number of profile Q&As written in the third person. WHAT??? The title of the section is called “About Me,” so you decide to write an “About Him/Her” about yourself? This doesn’t make any sense.
If you’re creating a profile for a friend or family member, then say so in your first line and even in your username. But in all of the instances I came across, this was not the deal. It was disarming at first and I had to reread many of the lines to make sure I was seeing straight. The weird thing is, it takes more effort to write about yourself in third person than it does in first person. I strongly suggest editing your profile if that’s the way it was written. You can say, “friends describe me as,” but not “can be defined as” or “likes being referenced as.” And never use the “he/she” when you could just say “I” or “me.” Take down the walls and let other JDaters see the real you!
HI! I am new to JDate – I have been a member for about 6 weeks and I am not getting much response. I do not know what is wrong, and I assume it is something in my profile. I cannot get any positive feedback from anyone online and do not know who else to ask. Any advice you could offer would be appreciated.
Dear New Member Needs,
Thanks for providing your screen name so I can check out your profile and give you feedback. I’m going to start with the photos. The first one is great! Bravo on that! The second is just a close-up of the sixth photo, which I think is better because it shows your body type which is important, so eliminate the 2nd photo. The 3rd and 4th are cute but the 5th is questionable. I know it’s you and your Mom, whom you talk about in your profile, but it’s obvious that it’s dated and to be honest it’s difficult to garner much from it because of the distance.
Regarding your About Me paragraph I would leave out the part about your Mom and save that for when you’re actually on the date. I know it must have been a difficult part of your life, but it’s a downer. This line: “Another is cooking. I have been told I am quite good at it…” should be changed to: “Another passion is cooking. I’ve been told I’m quite the chef and look forward to proving it to you.”
I like what you said in My Ideal Relationship and My Past Relationships. My Perfect First Date is fine, but I would edit I’m Looking For from: “Well-educated man, money is not important, intelligence and education are – once an educator always an educator. A very close second is a man who is faithful. Honesty is a must. Funny is always enjoyable. A man who likes to have fun!” to something along the lines of: “a well-educated man who is also intelligent (two different things). Money isn’t important. Honesty is. I’m looking for a faithful man who can make me laugh and likes to have fun!”
I like that you’re open to all marital statuses, but I would extend your age range. You’re willing to go 10 years younger but only 5 years older? Why not 10 years on each side then? Can’t hurt, right?
Once you’re done editing, add two new photos to replace the ones you’re eliminating. Take new ones this weekend (have a friend snap away, get different angles including full body) and start doing some Flirting. Write me in a few weeks and let me know how it’s going!
under Online Dating
Most people want to learn how to write a profile but just are not great writers. This can be a tough situation. Online dating profiles reveal not just your likes and dislikes, but your characteristics as well.
For example, if I write a profile that has a lot of errors, isn’t fluent, or just doesn’t grab the attention of others, women may assume that I’m lazy, don’t take online dating seriously, or might not be that smart.
This may not be entirely fair but it without a doubt happens.
The truth is, I know many brilliant people who just aren’t the greatest writers and it is sad to be sabotaged by this.
My advice? Either ask a friend who writes well to complete your profile, or find an online dating profile writing service. It may be embarrassing to ask a friend. It may cost a little money to hire someone. But with the overwhelming amount of competition out there these days, it is important to get any edge possible.
Too many men ignore the importance of how to write a profile. It is critical and should never be underestimated.