under Date Night
After hosting a HurryDate event last week, I have some advice that all singles who are planning to attend speed dating events should read:
1. Dress to Impress
There was a man there wearing a hat. Really? Just like your JDate profile photo, why on earth would you show up wearing a hat? There were ladies wearing sandals. Not only is it February, but there is nothing sexy about sandals.
2. Be on Time
It’s tough to start the event if all the people aren’t there. Check in and then go grab a drink from the bar.
Nothing says “approachable” better than a smile. That, and don’t cross your arms over your chest.
4. Be Conversation Ready
Most of the questions that can be asked within the five-minute time frame of the speed date are the obvious ones, so be prepared to answer: “What do you do?” and “Where do you live/Where are you from?” And try to answer with easy, one-line answers that you haven’t rehearsed.
5. Don’t Ask: “Why Are You Still Single?”
“Why are you still single?” and “What is your relationship history?” are questions to be saved for a later time. If someone asks you these questions during a speed dating party, then your answers should go like this, respectively: “For the same reason you’re still single, I haven’t met the right person yet” and “I’ve been in some meaningful relationships where I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I want in a mate, and I’d be happy to share that with you on another date.” Then change the topic.
Finally, stick around after and socialize. You may meet another single to attend future single events with you, or you may get to continue talking with someone, like the couple who was still chatting an hour after the event ended last week…
Buy Tamar’s book How to Woo a Jew on Amazon now!
under Date Night
I’m hosting a HurryDate event in Los Angeles this Wednesday (today!) and it got me thinking about the advantages of speed dating:
For starters, you know the people attending are serious about finding someone because they aren’t going to spend the time or money to partake in such an event if they aren’t. Secondly, you get to meet other singles who fit your demographic: in this case Jews in their 20’s and early 30’s, and to top it off there’s about an equal number of each gender. And finally, you get to talk with so many people for a short enough amount of time to either get out of a bad or awkward pairing, or to discover you want to learn more about the person sitting across from you. Seems like a win-win situation to me.
Get your copy of Tamar’s book “How to Woo a Jew” at Barnes & Noble and Amazon now.
under Online Dating
There I was, sitting across the table from a stranger staring me straight in the eye, when the host rang a bell and said, “Topic: Discuss your favorite body part.” The charismatic, good looking fellow across from me bounced up and said, “I’ll go first. My favorite body part is my ass.” He then proceeded to stand up, turn around and shake that thang (I’m not kidding this is 100% true story). He sat down smugly, all proud of himself. “My turn,” I said. Following suit, I stood up, lifted my little t-shirt, and started shaking my twins (breathe: I had a swim suit on). I proceeded to sit down just as smugly. At this point everyone involved in this game (who is otherwise sitting and talking) is staring at us. And with the sound of a ‘ding’ and the host’s command of “time to rotate,” our five minute speed date was up and it was time to move on. We both quickly turned to each other and formally introduced ourselves – “By the way, nice to meet you Jordan, I’m Michelle.” Everyone laughed.
There was no exchange of resumes or 20 questions, but rather just instant chemistry in a matter of minutes. Luckily, to both our discoveries, the five minutes of senseless banter proved our chemistry for a short-term relationship and a long-term friendship.
Next week, I will venture to give speeddating another try, though I plan to keep my clothes on this time. I am hopeful no one will ask the typical resume questions. I truly believe a lot can be determined in five minutes– instant attraction, a person’s carriage and personality. I guess you never know what shakin’ that thing can teach you.