I am so confused and frustrated right now. I met this amazing girl on JDate. We went on a date in NYC and the chemistry was great. I called her a few days later and left a message on her phone. I received a text saying she was feeling sick that weekend. I understand completely and wished her a speedy recovery. Since then I have not heard from her. I just don’t understand why there is no follow up. I want to call her badly but think I should wait till after this weekend. Something seems strange, maybe she had a change of heart? But so suddenly? Event to just talk to her on the phone would be great but I’m confused on why she hasn’t been in touch.
Dear Continuity Confusion,
Go ahead and call her. I hate texts, but if she was sick then I’ll give her a pass for not calling. Some women want to be pursued and if she wasn’t feeling well she may be waiting for you to call and see how she’s feeling. I think it’s a bit presumptuous to think she’s had a change of heart. On one hand it’s only been one date, on the other hand you’ve only made one phone call. Take the risk and put yourself out there and make that call!
I have been single and celibate for 9 years, mostly due to illness. However, I’ve since recovered and am looking to get back into life again. How do I explain my absence?
Let me begin with mazel tov to you on your recovery and jumping back into the dating pool! JDate is a great way to start this process.
My suggestion: be open and honest. Relationships are built on trust, it’s that simple. It sounds to me as if you may not be comfortable with your own absence. There is no shame in being out of the dating scene and getting back into it, no matter the reason. Everyone is entitled to find true happiness and you are no exception.
Not everyone has to know everything from the get go. However, if you are asked, feel a connection, and feel comfortable with the questioner, tell the truth. Getting to know someone is a process. Focus on the present moment and what it is you are looking for in a potential partner. Explaining your absence will come in time, be patient and be aware that it is not necessary to defend your absence to every person who is a potential match. Take pleasure in your renewed health and enjoy these new dating experiences.
Gems From Jen