When you enter into a new relationship and begin the honeymoon phase you will want to spend every minute becoming a “we” and an “us” as you build the foundation of being a couple. But you need to make sure you don’t lose sight of your individuality and your independence. There is no “U” in relationship, but there are 2 “I”‘s and that stands for you and your partner. You cannot forget who you were before the relationship and you need to make sure you have your “you” time, even if that means spending time with other people, such as your family and friends – but by yourself, not with your new significant other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder doesn’t mean you need to leave the country for 6 weeks, but simply do your own thing for 6 hours. Until the relationship moves to marriage, you should be your #1 priority. Don’t forget to do the things that you like to do even if your new partner doesn’t; it will fulfill you and make you a better teammate (there’s no I or U in team either, but there is ME!).
When you start getting serious with someone, you tend to spend a lot of time together: spending every waking minute together; adopting each other’s hobbies and pasttimes; doing what your new significant other likes all the time just to make him or her happy. It’s important to have “me” time and to continue doing the things you like to do and to get your S.O. involved in the things you like to do. You want to be able to be dependent on your mate but you also need to maintain your independence. And of course there’s that middle of the road in/dependence when you meld the two together — doing the things you love with the person you love by your side.
People think they want to date and marry someone that they’re similar to, but really you want someone different who will balance you. My husband and one of my close girlfriends are very similar in how they deal with stress and they joke around that if they were married to each other they would never speak. They both feel that they need spouses such as myself and her husband to balance them out.
If you both like all the same things, life will get a little boring. I love football and my husband loves basketball so we’ve both taken the time to learn and enjoy the other’s sport. My husband loves UFC so that’s something he gets to do with his friends, sans wifey. I love sushi, and I go with my friends for a girls night out.
So don’t rule out another single just because you don’t like all the same things or have the same hobbies, instead celebrate your differences, teach other about your interests and enjoy maintaining some independence.
In a previous post I discussed the notion that most guys love bad girls. This has to do with many factors, including the visual apeal, sexuality, and fun personality most bad girls exhibit.
Today I would like to discuss one more aspect of the bad girl that men love. I am referring to the perceived lifestyle of someone who is a bad girl.
Millions of girls out there are clingy at times, overly dramatic within a relationship, and create a lot of conflicts.
Bad girls often have the perceived image that they will not be hung up on every little thing you do. They appear to have lives outside of online dating and plenty of other interests to keep them happy. This is a turn on for many men when compared to the idea of a girl whose life revolves completely around a man.
When all is said and done, this can be very appealing. Except of course, if you love being the focus of attention 24/7?