under Online Dating
In my past blog entries I breifly discussed the importance of a male having a great online dating profile.
But what about women? How often have you seen a beautiful girls profile on a dating site that had three sentences or less? Yet, this same woman is probably receiving HUNDREDS of emails a week.
The reasons behind this is simple. As I frequently write about, the male and female mind are wired so differently. While females may be attracted to a male based on many qualities right off the bat, males are completely visual creatures. For the most part we zoom in on looks first and worry about everything else later. It is natural instinct, programmed into our DNA.
So what does this mean for these beautiful women? To put it bluntly, a great profile is not neccessary. Even if they fill one out with tremendous effort trying to sort out the people that message them, most guys will completely ignore this, feeling powerless to stop themselves from trying anyway!
It may be unfair to us guys out there, but sorry to say, beautiful women just don’t need to put the type of effort we put forth. Maybe we should start making them pay for dinner to make up for this!
I’ve been on JDate before and received plenty of interest in the form of IM’s, emails and the like. I’m back on this site for a third time, and I am getting no replies to my profile. Everytime I log in my inbox is empty and I get no messages when I’m online. Moreover, when I email or IM men whose profiles I like, I don’t get any responses! Is there something I can do about my profile to make it better? I’m starting to lose confidence (and hope!) because of this! Anything you can suggest would be very much appreciated!
Dear Repeat JDater®,
Sorry you’re not having any success this go ’round. I’m sure you’re totally frustrated but try to look at your profile from a different perspective. If you’re not getting ANY messages or responses than there’s something immediate that’s turning men off instantly. Actually, that’s an easier fix than most. This means your main photo may not be showing you in the best light or your first sentence may be off-kilter. Change those 2 things up and use a trusted friend’s opinion and approval beforehand and I’m sure your luck will change. In addition, take the opportunity to make sure the men whom you’re trying to attract are appropriately suited for you in age range and other categories.
I just started seeing a man a few weeks ago, someone I’ve known for many years, and things have gotten very intense. We’ve seen each other six times and he’s given every indication that he’s very interested in me, even sending me emails that start with “good morning darling” and telling me how he can’t wait to see me. But since he returned from a reunion weekend and emailed me ( again “hi darlin,”) and told me that he’d be back in the city today, I haven’t heard anything and am very anxious, not knowing what’s going on and wondering if I should call or email or just do nothing.
Jen, what do you think I should do and why do men do this all the time?
It sounds to me as if this guy is sincerely interested. Any man that calls you darling and tells you he cannot wait until the next time he sees you is an indicator that he is interested.
Sometimes, when relationships begin with a high level of intensity they can cool off rather quickly. This can occur for many reasons, including; fear, anxiety, and even feeling vulnerable by exposing feelings. Trust takes time to develop and when relationships begin quickly a part of the foundation might be lacking.
Perhaps, after some time apart he realized how quickly things were moving and took a small step backward. I wouldn’t worry too much about the recent turn of events. My suggestion is to sit tight and wait for a day or two. If you have not heard from him after the waiting period go ahead and give him a call, and let him know that you are confused by his sudden change of behavior.
Gems from Jen