Dear Tamar,

I have had two dates with someone I met on JDate and the third is coming up. I really like this person and he seems to like me. Any advice for the third date?

-Third Dates the Charm?

Dear Third Dates The Charm,

Exciting! The third date can be a major turning point. No, you don’t have to have sex. Still, you’ve gotten past the first and second dates which means you are now officially “dating.”

Now that you are over the 2nd date hump, you can take some pressure off wondering if he likes you because — guess what? He does! It doesn’t mean you have to give it up, or that you should start passing gas at the dinner table, but you can relax your shoulders and stop doubting yourself. You can also start accepting dates with him at the last minute and you need to require him to take you to a formal dinner.

At the end of the third date you can invite your date to your house for a home-cooked meal. On the third date you still want to be your best self, but you can also open up a little bit more and show your date that you’re not perfect, you have faults and you’re normal. You can share embarrassing stories, failures and your odd (but fun) quirks. You get to be real. But you get to do so knowing that you’re in a new relationship that has already passed the first two tests, and now you’re building a foundation to move forward. Good luck and let me know how it progresses!

Dear Tamar,

I have been trying not to add too many profile photos, as I didn’t really want someone choosing to talk to me just off of what I look like. I’ve sent numerous emails though and am not getting any responses. Are photos really that important?

-Camera Shy

Dear Camera Shy,

In short, yes, photos are important. You don’t need to post a ton of them, but about 4 will do. This is the thing: people are not choosing you based on your photos alone, they’re reading your profile as well. The two combined is what ups or lowers the ante. So you need a strong profile and a number of photos that show you are consistent in your looks. Everyone has a type, so don’t automatically assume why people are not responding to your emails. Do you realize you are judging people for wanting to see your photos in order to judge you? How are you any different than them? The problem with photos is that if you don’t add enough then people think you are trying to hide something. Add too many (same outfit, same angle, same pose) then it’s just obnoxious.

Back when I was single and on JDate, the guys without photos would drive me nuts! Why take the time and make the effort to be on JDate if you’re not going to go all in and post photos? What’s the point? There’s someone out there for everyone but you’re only hurting your chances if you don’t complete all the criteria.