I am so verbose. Once I have your attention, I want to tell you everything on my mind. I know that is wrong, but it is the fact.
Now to my profile: it is long (or long-winded?), but many folks who read my writings tell me I am a good and funny writer. Some JDaters say that longer humorous profiles do get read and get reactions. Should I try to edit it shorter or is longer okay?
Dear Mr. Verbose,
Short is not always sweeter but sometimes long can just be too long. You have to find the happy medium. Take a look at the multiple choice/fill in the blank questions that run across the top of your profile and along the right hand side. If you are repeating any of that information in your paragraphs, then you can whittle down those sentences. Some information may need to be explained (divorced/widowed, children) in one sentence, but you do not need to write your autobiography or pen your memoir to answer “About Me.”
Think about the topics you would typically discuss on a first date — a lot of it is answered in your profile, right? But you don’t want to reveal too much in your profile and then begin discussing things that aren’t appropriate for a first date.
Being funny in your profile is good, like you said, getting a reaction out of prospects is generally a positive thing (when it’s laughter!). That said, you also want to be taken seriously so don’t turn every answer into a joke.
under Date Night
In a word: no.
Don’t do it. I don’t care how amazing the photo is, DO NOT USE A SELFIE AS YOUR JDATE PROFILE PICTURE! And don’t make a duck-face either. I know it makes your lips look plump and accentuates your cheekbones, but it’s obnoxious.
Find someone you love who can take your picture and let them snap away when there’s good lighting. Try out different poses and angles, move around, make sure your smile is authentic by laughing about a funny story with the friend or family member who is taking your photo. Change up your clothes and background and keep snapping away. If you cut or color your hair, shave or grow your beard, lose or gain weight, then do another impromptu, unprofessional photo shoot. Take photos when you’re dressed up to go to a party (better to have the party in the background then your front door on the way out though), take photos when you’re on vacation and relaxed. Try to aim for dusk or dawn or overcast days when the sun won’t create shadows or make you squint.
Then, let that same trusted loved one go over the photos with to help you choose. We are our own worst critics, which means that a photo you may not love could be seen as really attractive by someone else. Photos are too important a part of online dating not to take it seriously.
To learn more about creating a great JDate profile, buy How to Woo a Jew: The Modern Jewish Guide to Dating and Mating now!
Writing a JDate profile dictates that you need to self-promote, whether you are humble or cocky. You need to find your ego and exploit it for the sake of describing who you are to potential suitors. Too short of an “About Me” paragraph and JDaters may think you aren’t really into the process. Too long of an answer and potentials can get overwhelmed. There’s a happy medium of describing who you are with the right words and in the best way possible without being long-winded.
Wallflowers will have a difficult time with writing about themselves as shyness doesn’t translate well on paper. Being humble is a great trait, but why would I contact you if you’re too reserved to tell me about yourself? Don’t be embarrassed to say what achievements you’ve had in life thus far, or what your dreams are, or why someone should contact you. But if you’ve got a laundry list of reasons about why you’re the best thing since sliced bread… then you may need someone to edit on your behalf.