Extreme Profile Makeover — “Julie”

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Monday Makeover,Online Dating,Single Life

Hey there!

Could you help me makeover my profile as to attract more people/get more responses?

Thanks!

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Hi Julie,

I’m happy to help. To start, you have a great profile name! Putting an adjective or descriptive phrase before the year you were born is perfect! So, we can skip right to the profile.

     1. PHOTOS

I’ll be honest, this is where you need the most work. You need more than 3 photos, but I would take the time to also get better pictures. The New Year’s hat photo is super cute, but should be moved to the 3rd or 4th slot for your “fun” photo. Have a friend take photos of you with no one else in the picture and no other distracting elements. Make sure there’s good lighting. The second photo of your full body should be swapped out for another. I like that you are confident and that you followed my rules to have a full body pic be the second photo, but I am not a fan of studio photos. At that same photo shoot you schedule with your friend, have him or her take a few full body photos as well. Go outside when there’s not direct sunlight and find a place with rocks or trees or cool architecture and take photos there. Finally, the car pic can be deleted or used as a final, supplementary photo.

     2. IN MY OWN WORDS

You’ve done a nice job with your ABOUT ME answer, although it could be thinned out a bit. I would delete the line which begins, “In my free time…” since that goes under the area titled FOR FUN, I LIKE TO. You can also delete the football line and TV lines (put it under MY FAVORITES…) and that will connect the movies line with the Netflix line, which is cute!

I would also recommend not answering every single question; it can get a bit repetitive. You could also delete MY PERFECT FIRST DATE and either THINGS I COULD NEVER LIVE WITHOUT or THE COOLEST PLACES I’VE VISITED. Answering every single question is overkill. You don’t want to come off as over-zealous and you don’t need to reveal so much. This will leave a few general topics for discussion via email and on your first date!

     3. DETAILS

Most of your details are good, the changes you should make are all under MY IDEAL MATCH. If you are truly looking for a date, then you can leave that in, but I suspect you really want a relationship leading to forever, so delete the less committal options (a date, friend, etc.). The other place to edit is the age range. A 27-year-old woman would typically connect best with a guy just a few years younger and at maximum more than a few years older. I’d suggest expanding your age range from 24-30 to a 10-year range of 24-34. I’d also narrow down some of the streams of Judaism you’d be willing to date.

You’ve got a good start, Julie! You just need to take some awesome photos, edit your “About Me” paragraph, broaden your preferred age range, and then narrow down the relationship type and the religious level you’d be willing to date and I think you’ll find yourself seeing lots of new, “real” prospects.


Extreme Profile Makeover — “David S.” (Part 1)

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Monday Makeover,Online Dating,Single Life

Hi Tamar,

I’ve been on and off JDate for a while; I’ve never had much success in attracting positive responses, either from women contacting me or responding to my emails. I’ve always had my theories as to why, but if it’s really what I’m saying in my profile, or my pictures, I need a little advice.

Thanks!

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Hi David S.,

I’m going to start with your profile review in Part 1 and then review your emails in Part 2.

I am actually quite impressed with your profile. The pictures are nice, your paragraphs are well-written and interesting, and you seem like a great catch! That means we need to see what your preferences are to determine if you are going after the wrong type of woman.

Although you’re a young-looking 41-year-old, your age range ends at 41 — and being that you’re in your early 40s, I believe you need to expand your max age to abut 43. Your minimum age range of 32 is correct in following my advice, but since you are young looking and active, I’d lower it a bit to 30. Adding two years to both sides of the age range spectrum will widen your pool of prospects. You can do the same to your height requirements and your geographic boundaries.

Additionally, I don’t see much about your family in your profile and I think it’s important to include some tidbits, whether it be in an additional photograph (with description) and/or a line in “About Me” and “A Brief History of My Life.” If this topic is a contentious one then try to find some positive memory from your childhood and include that.

Since there doesn’t seem to be too many issues with your profile, I’m going delve into the email samples you’ve supplied in part 2 of this series (which posts tomorrow) in order to see where any other issues may lie!


Extreme Profile Makeover — “Daniel R.”

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Monday Makeover,Online Dating

Hello Tamar,

I have rewritten my profile many times, and I am not sure why people don’t respond to me or even message me. I am heavier than I am now in some of my pictures, but I am not sure how to write that. I could use a lot of help redoing my profile. Any help you can provide is greatly appreciated.

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Hi Daniel,

In looking at your profile and pictures, I think you fall into the common trap of providing too much information and writing in ways that make sense in your head — as you would say it — but that don’t necessarily read smoothly.

In regards to your weight gain, update your photos to show how you look now. If you don’t have photos, then take them. In the meantime, you don’t have to specifically address the weight gain, but you do need to change your body type as it states “average/medium build” when you are larger than that. But this is where you give too much information as your exact weight isn’t necessary. I don’t recommend that anyone complete their exact weight as stating your build and providing accurate pictures along with your height is enough. There are two photos of you with another guy (who I assume is your brother), please add descriptions to your photos and specify which guy you are in the photo, as you and your brother look alike.

Proofread your paragraphs; there are many typos. However, the paragraph under “A Brief History of My Life” is where you seem to get too detailed — saying you have your MBA is great, but from where is not necessary at this point — that is the information you want to save for the first date! You mention a few of the same things twice in answering different questions, for instance your dream job and hanging out with friends. Not all questions need to be answered. If you find yourself repeating, then determine if you actually need to answer both questions.

I would also narrow down what you’re looking for under “Your Ideal Match” and remember to expand your age range as you age.

Otherwise, keep being active, send Flirts, click “Yes, No or Maybe” under Secret Admirer and send short but sweet emails to women whom you find to be strong matches.


Love At First JDate: Your First Time on the Site

by JenG under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating

After a good friend of mine moved to NYC, she got an apartment, a job, a roommate, and then her next logical step was to join JDate. And though she’s been on the site before (in other states), she was determined to put together a new profile this time that would launch her into this grand city and it’s chaotic dating scene.

Here’s a few things to know when you are first joining the site.

  • Do: Spend time putting together your profile. Pick out 3-4 good photos of yourself (click here for JDate’s tips on selecting great profile pics), and then write at least one paragraph for your “About Me” essay question and a few others like the “I’m Looking For…” and “Things I could Never Live Without” questions. If you’re having trouble putting this together, ask for help from your friends. They already know how others perceive you and can help add some color to your profile.
  • Don’t: Rush it. Don’t throw up an unedited bio and a single photo of yourself. Don’t sit there and wait for people to message you or view your profile. If you’re serious about meeting new people, then it’s time to take action!

Read more from Jen at www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com


Q & A — About Me

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

  • “About Me”

I saved the best — and most important — for last. And I did so for a reason. By now you should have many, if not most of the other questions, out of the way. You have therefore eliminated the need to repeat the same answers in your “About Me” paragraph, making this section waaaaaay too long. You can always write “I love traveling… see below for The Coolest Places I’ve Visited,” but you don’t need to write “Contact me if you are interested in learning more” because you hopefully included that line under “You Should Definitely Message Me If…”

Your “About Me” should start with a basic introduction: “Hi, my name is Tamar and I’m a 33-year-old writer currently living in…” Use your first name only, don’t give too much detail regarding your exact job or specific neighborhood (for safety’s sake), and then continue:

“I’ve been told that I’m (fill in the blank)… and I agree that (fill in the blank)… I’m also a very loyal friend. I’m forgiving to a fault and I’m generous with my time and my heart.”

Include a few simple descriptions of your character and then follow with a few simple descriptions of what kind of person you’re looking for: “I’m looking for someone with strong Jewish morals and values, someone who is looking to have FUN being in love and to LAUGH a lot!”

You can give some more interesting details about yourself which aren’t addressed in other parts of the profile but don’t start a laundry list of things or go off on tangents. “About Me” should be about one paragraph (5 sentences), maybe two at most. Leave information to be shared on a first date since you’ve already revealed so much info as it is. Most first date questions have already been answered via the profile questions so if you reveal much more than you’re going into a first date feeling like you know each other more like a third date except you’ve never met! Slow your roll.

Let a trusted friend or family member read through the “About Me” answer to ensure that your personality comes through. If you’re a comedian then your shpiel should be funny just make sure it’s not coming across like you think JDate is a joke. If you’re serious then that should be the tone, just make sure your shpiel isn’t dull and boring.

This shouldn’t be your work bio, nor should it be too boastful. Have fun, but take this assignment seriously because it is.

 


Q & A — You Should Definitely Message Me If You…

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

  • “You should definitely message me if you…”

The last question in JDate’s list of essay questions may seem like a throw-away at first, but it can definitely help to encourage other online daters to message you. Answer it… or don’t. But if you do answer it, then SEAL IT WITH A KISS — as in, “keep it simple, stupid!” Here are a few examples to show you what I mean:

  • “…think we would hit it off.”
  • “…see something about me that caught your eye.”
  • “…notice we have a lot in common.”
  • “…like what you see!”
  • “…you’re interested in learning more.”

That’s it. No need for more. Your one-liner can be cute, it can be quirky, it can be serious — just make sure it’s only one line!