under Date Night
Nothing about online dating matters once you meet a person in real life. You could have the best-looking pictures, and the funniest profile. You could be the best online-conversationalist, but if you don’t know how to interact with people in real life, it doesn’t matter. You know who else is good at chatting online? Child predators.
My new theory based on absolutely no research, facts or observation, states that the worse the person’s online persona, the better they are in real life. Good people don’t spend too much time cultivating their profile. They spend time out in the world while their mother who is desperate for her son to marry because he’s 35 and still single, sets up his profile for him. He doesn’t care. He’s too cool to worry about his most flattering photos, and his profile that is just self-deprecating enough to seem cute, but just confident enough to seem secure.
Back in the 50′s, when JDate® consisted of a man at a typewriter staring out of his window with a telescope, life was so much easier. You would just walk up to a stranger’s home in the middle of the night to look for a quality guy. Now, you have to sift through hundreds of profiles to find that right balance between creepy and desperate. Chivalry is dead.
Go out there. Purposefully find the ugliest, stupidest profiles. Go for that shirtless guy taking a picture in his bathroom with an iPhone. Go for the dude who, under, ‘I’m looking for…’, wrote simply, ‘no fatties’. Once you do meet this man in the real world, you will marry him, or file a restraining order within the first 5 minutes. Either way, crazy story.
Oy vey, from gentiles to Jewish mothers, we all see JDating a bit differently! While we know most of these images are meshugenah, here’s a funny look at how those around us may see the world of JDating! Share it and have a good laugh!
One of my all-time favorite movies was Being There. Chauncey Gardiner, played brilliantly by the late Peter Sellers, uttered simplistic ramblings in which his worshipers mistakenly read great value. In other words, less is sometimes more. Take the JDate profiles that have yet to be filled out.
My favorite books, movies, TV shows, music and food: (not answered yet) Wow! We have so much in common. My favorite books, movies, TV shows, music and food haven’t been answered yet either!
For fun, I like to… (not answered yet) I too find it fun not answering a questionnaire that asks me what I like doing for fun!
You should definitely message me if you… (not answered yet)
I haven’t answered you yet, so I should definitely message you. And when we go out, remind me to remind you to tell me your story about “not answered yet.”
It’s one of my life’s ambitions not answered yet.
under Date Night
A native Chicago woman I met recently happened to bemoan that in Los Angeles, not the easiest town for meeting people (unless they’re encased in tons of steel), guys rarely utter the “d” word. No, not “divorced.” “Date.”
Wanna meet for coffee? Fine. Catch a movie? Sure. Go out on a date? Let’s think first. Are we really ready for that kind of commitment?
Before we rename JDate JHang, maybe it’s time to reexamine our phobias about dating. For most of us, the date that will live in infamy isn’t just Pearl Harbor Day. Most of them eventually end on a less than mutually blissful note. Otherwise, we wouldn’t still be looking. Maybe we’re reluctant to assign the lost opportunities of past dates to future ones. But, before we neuter the term into oblivion, let’s make a date to start treating “date” with the respect it deserves. Interested in her? Ask her out on a date. Not interested in him? Tell him, “No. But, let’s catch a movie.”
Okay. I’ll hit the theater near me. You hit the one near you.
They say 1 in 5 relationships start online, but I think it’s more when it comes to the Jewish community. I know way too many couples who met on JDate® to believe that it’s only 20%. It’s gotta be way more at this point, when you start counting from Generation X and onward (ie. the ones who are both technologically savvy and who were also the ones single when JDate began). I have more than a few cousins and know more friends than I count who met on JDate. If I actually did the math, I’m almost positive it would be more than 20%. But still, I like the publicity of the general statistic because it normalizes online dating. Guess what? Online dating IS normal! If you’re Jewish, single and not on JDate, then what are you waiting for?
Nearly all my single girlfriends are on JDate and that means they often meet the same guy. They each have their type so it’s not usually a problem, plus they are all understanding if one of them hits it off with a guy they had gone on a date with or were interested in. Very rarely is there an issue. Except when there is.
One of my girlfriends starting dating a guy she met on JDate and although the new relationship was slowly progressing, she certainly didn’t have any claim to him. Unfortunately there was a party he went to where, unbeknownst to him, he met her girlfriends and flirted with one of them. It happens, the community is small and there was no way for any of them to know. Where do the loyalties lie?
My main contact with the outside world? Spam. And it’s weirdly personal too. How do they know so much about me? ANDY… WANT TO ENLARGE YOUR EGO? I got that the other day.
ANDY… FIND YOUR MUCH, MUCH BETTER HALF! … Is it just me, or was that a slam?
ANDY, SOMEONE WANTS TO DATE YOU! What’s with the exclamation point? I guess even they can’t believe someone wants to date me.
So I figured, what the heck. It wasn’t JDate, but if they’re excited about somebody wanting to date me, I can at least show a little excitement too. I hit the URL they’d sent me, and it took me to a site that asked… LOOKING FOR LOVE? 3.5 MILLION SINGLES AWAIT YOU ARRIVAL AT DREAMMATES.COM! “You” arrival. 3.5 million and not one of ‘em can spell “your.”
Now, they’re telling me 3.5 million singles await my arrival. Right away, you figure half of those 3.5 million awaiting my arrival are the wrong sex. That would be men, by the way! So they’re telling me 1 & ¾ million guys are awaiting my arrival? How great can the women be if hundreds of thousands of guys are awaiting my arrival? JDate – I’ll never look at another dating site again.
Patti Stanger, the Millionaire Matchmaker and author of Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate recently made headlines because of some recent comments she made about Jewish men being liars. In light of her recent comments, we’ve dug into the JDate archives and pulled out a few excerpts from a JMag® interview we did with Stanger a couple of years ago. See what Stanger had to say about the topics of Jewish dating and Jewish men to Greg Liberman, President and CEO of Spark Networks®, owner and operator of JDate, the leading online community for Jewish singles.
When Liberman asked Stanger about the dynamics between men and women she responded similarly to her recent interview. She said, “If you’re over 40 and you’re not getting any hits and you look younger, drop a few years off your age. Just to get in the window. But, no more than five. Don’t do a 10-year drop. You’re going to get into in trouble with that. We’ve seen men lie about their age, their height, their weight. So it’s not uncommon for men to lie. It’s been the same story. If you’re a woman in your 40s, you should date guys in their late 40s or 50s. If they’re being really particular about it because they want to have children, leave those men alone and go for a better man who’s maybe been divorced with kids. But don’t give up hope, he’s out there!”
But don’t be fooled while Stanger might seem to be hard on our Jewish men she’s still got a soft place in her heart for them as well. Liberman asked Stanger, “As a Jewish woman, do you feel that there are cultural differences between Jews and non-Jews when it comes to dating and relationships?” to which Stanger responded “I still believe that Jewish men are the best husbands because they’re providers. And there is still the whole thing where the woman gets to stay home, raise the kids, and the husband slays the dragons at work.”
What are your thoughts? Does Patti Stanger have it right or is she being too tough on our Jewish men? Comment below.
Have you heard JDate is responsible for more Jewish marriages than Match.com® and eHarmony® combined?
We’re celebrating more than just the beginning of the Jewish New Year. A new study confirms that JDate is responsible for more Jewish marriages than all other dating sites combined. Of course we already knew this was true, but now we have the facts to back it up.
We recently commissioned an independent research company, ResearchNow, to survey nearly 1,000 married Jewish internet users. One of the most compelling findings: JDate is responsible for 52% of the marriages that started online, while only 17% of those surveyed met on Match.com® and 10% on eHarmony®.
Those who were surveyed were more likely to find a date on JDate than on any other online dating site. In fact, 63% of all online dates came from JDate. That’s three times more than Match and nine times more than eHarmony.
We couldn’t be happier about JDate’s success and contribution to the Jewish community, and are thrilled to share the good news!
· 5 out of 9 Jews married since 2008 used online dating during their search
· 63% of online dates amongst Jews originated at JDate
· 76% of Jewish online daters use JDate
· Match.com’s President even used JDate
under Date Night
Kids, I am about to experience the most awkward situation of my life. The Countdown to this moment is set for 72 hours from now. I’ve worked for this my entire life. All of the times I called Erica in junior high and asked her to go out with me. All of the times I nervously walked around and pretended that I was okay being the only person without somebody to slow dance with at Bar Mitzvah parties when I was not okay with it at all. All of the times I was in a movie theater with Sarah (that one just happened once).
Now kids, in order to understand the upcoming awkward encounter, we have to go back a few months. Maybe six months. Let’s say six months. Six months. I was about 60 pounds heavier, and my JDate pictures reflected that weight discrepancy. It was relatively more difficult to receive and maintain a conversation with a girl. I managed to talk to the same girl via IM several times, until she looked past my main profile picture that made me look a lot less fat. After she saw all of my pictures, she bolted and I didn’t talk to her again.
After I lost a good amount of weight, I changed my profile pictures. After the new me surfaced, the same girl initiated an IM with me. This was unprecedented. Was she only talking to me because I was thinner? Probably. Did I care? Nope. We talked several more times. We soon learned that, coincidentally, she was going to be in charge of the food at the wedding of two good friends of mine in a couple of weeks. We then planned a date together. I took her out to eat and see a movie. It was fun. After the date, I texted her thanking her. She didn’t respond until I texted her again the next day. She responded saying something along the lines of wanting to be just friends. Though it was pretty much what I expected, and I was certainly used to that rejection notice, I impulsively shot her a text saying that I would let her know when I got thinner. She asked why I said that, and I didn’t know really. We both somehow decided to be friends without really meaning it.
Anyway, the wedding is three days from now, and though this situation does seem like a crock-pot of awkwardness, anything involving myself should be taken seriously. Actually, it might not be awkward at all, unless, of course, she reads this post, which is entirely possible because I told her on the date that I was a blogger for JDate.