We can all agree, writing about yourself is often a challenging and frightening task. When I was applying for jobs, I had such a hard time summarizing who I was in a one-page cover letter. When I then had to try to put together an online dating profile, I found that challenge pop up and slap me across the face once again. Sometimes it’s best to write your profile with a friend that you trust.
- Do: Have a friend come over and help you co-write your online dating profile. A friend that knows you well may be able to pull out some personality traits that you may gloss over.
- Don’t: Have them write it 100% for you. It should still have your voice and your unique touches to it. A friend should be there to compliment the process – not take over!
Get to know Jen Glantz on Twitter: @tthingsilearned
under Single Life
The other day I was telling a co-worker that I’m taking a dating break. I just need some time to sit back, relax, and spend time by myself. Okay, maybe part of that has to do with the fact that I just want to watch season two of House of Cards. Whatever the reason, sometimes we all just need to turn off our phones, shut off our computers, and just focus on ourselves for a bit.
- Do: Give yourself some time off from dating if you need it. Whether it’s a week or a month, take the time you need to hang out with friends or catch up on your personal to-do list. Refresh and reset your mind, and your heart.
- Don’t: Drag this on for too long. Once you stop doing something, it’s easy to lose the motivation to do it again. When I stop going to the gym, it takes me months to start again. Whenever you decide to start this break, make sure you also have an end date.
under Date Night
Last week, I wrote about deciphering the right time to get into a Facebook “friendship” relationship with someone you’ve just started dating. And while that’s bound to happen at some point in your courting, it’s also important not to judge someone based on what you find scattered throughout their social media trail. The other day, I was spitting out lines on the phone to my mom about how I didn’t want to go on a first date with a guy because I didn’t think we were a good match. My only justification for this claim was solely based on what I knew about him from social media. Was that a good enough reason to write someone off and skip out on a first date?
- Do: Practice self-control if you have access to someone’s social media accounts before you’ve met them — and refrain from doing a thorough investigation on them. If you can’t control yourself (which, power to you if you actually can), try to digest the information by reminding yourself this is just a small representation of who they are. Think about what someone might think of you if they read through your 1,000+ tweets before meeting you. It’s worth giving someone an in-person chance.
- Don’t: Cancel a date because you’ve seen too much on someone’s social media accounts. If you’ve stalked them to the point that you’ve seen photos of their ex-girlfriend or you know what they looked like at their Bar Mitzvah, that’s your fault. Ignore the fact that you just freaked yourself out and go meet them in person. Then, you’ll have the information you need to judge if you’d like to continue seeing them in real life… or just through the internet waves.
Read more of Jen Glantz: www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com
or follow her on Twitter: @tthingsilearned
under Date Night
There are people who “try” online dating for a month or two, and then call it quits. They will go back and forth through a series of messages, venturing out from behind the computer screen for a date or two (which inevitably won’t go exactly as planned), and then decide enough is enough. They then throw in the towel and resort to living a lonely life of sinking into the creases of their living room couch, playing unlimited games of Xbox, and ignoring calls from Mom — because all she will nag about is why her kid is wasting their lives holding hands with a remote control. Here’s when you should give up… and when you should keep on, keeping on:
- Do: Give the online dating scene a chance. If it doesn’t work out, maybe take a short break, and come back to it refreshed and open to trying it out again. Sometimes it helps to just revamp your profile, or spend some time rethinking what it is you are looking for in a person and how serious you want to take this experience.
- Don’t: Go on one or two online dates and call it quits. Most first dates will be a little overwhelming or awkward, but that’s why there is sometimes such a stigma around first dates. Either decide to go on a second date with someone who has potential, or keep searching and corresponding with more people until you find someone else who sparks an interest in your head.
There is someone out there for everyone — the number of different types of online dating sites just reinforces that! Give it a chance, or two.
Read more of Jen Glantz here.