Late Date Wait

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

My friend Jonah called me the other day asking me for advice. He was meeting a JDate at a bar and she was late… really, really late. Jonah arrived at the dive promptly at 9pm and almost immediately his cell phone rang. It was his JDate calling to say she was running really late –she was coming from dinner at her parent’s and not only underestimated how long it would take to drive across town but had also ran into traffic. She was apologetic and called twice more to update him as to her whereabouts and ETA. However, after more than 30 minutes of waiting, Jonah left. He didn’t call her to say he was leaving; he simply got up and walked out.

As harsh as it sounds that he left the bar when she was obviously hastily trying to get there, I actually agreed with his actions. Thirty minutes of waiting is enough at this point – even though she was calling – because it was rude and a waste of his time to be sitting there watching the door, getting really frustrated. I told him though that if she were to call and continue to be apologetic and wanting of another date, he should accept and mercilessly tease her about taking advantage of Jewish Standard Time (JST) when they finally met. Since she did, in fact, call a few times to let him know she was running late and sounded genuinely sorry, he should without a doubt give her a second chance. I told Jonah that it wouldn’t have been the end of the world had he shelved his pride and impatience and waited 15 more minutes since she was updating him, but I also understood why he left when he left in the way he left.

If your date doesn’t call to let you know he or she is running late until much later that night or the next day, then I wouldn’t give him or her a second chance. That’s simply inconsiderate and a huge clue as to why the person is still single. We all have cell phones nowadays so there’s no excuse not to call. Letting people (dates, family, friends) know you’re running late is a sign of respect.