Dinner with the family – A survivalist’s guide to Thanksgiving

by jpompey under Relationships

Who doesn’t love Thanksgiving?  What better time of the year than Thanksgiving to prove to the rest of the world why we are the most obese country in the nation!  Being Jewish isn’t the only part of our culture that you should be proud of.  Put on those extra baggy pants and be proud of your glutinous over-eating country!

While Thanksgiving is one of the greatest times of the year food wise, some of us may have a hard time surviving the day with our “well-intentioned”  but “I am going to make you wish you were in this turkey’s place” families.  And if we are going to the family of our significant others for the first time, who knows what we might be getting into!

I thought I’d give everyone a few quick pointers for surviving Thanksgiving with the family!

#1 – Stay by Grandpa’s side.  Grandpa is a Thanksgiving survivalist with decades of experience.  He will know all the tricks, secrets, and tools of surviving this day.  Stay close and do not wander far off.  You may even hear some great old-timer stories in the process.

#2 – If there is anything a Jewish woman loves to hear it’s that she is a good cook.  No matter what, even if you are about to gag, even if you feel slightly poisoned, even if you are wondering whether you’d rather listen to a Justin Beiber CD than swallow that bite, I’ve got two words for you – “It’s delicious!”  No matter what, you say those two words if you wish to survive the day.

#3 – Eat everything.  If there’s one thing I know from Thanksgiving with a Jewish family it’s that I will be asked an average of 343.8 times if I tried (insert food here).  Try everything; too bad if you’re full. You will not stop being badgered until you have sampled everything.

Finally – stay out of the kitchen.  There is no wrath like the wrath of a woman whose kitchen you have just made a mess.  Stay clear and be careful.

And ladies, please feel free to provide us guys with any additional pointers.  We only want to survive!