Frenemies

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

I’ve never seen so much hating at singles events. I was covering an event the other night and a girl was going around hugging up on different male friends of hers, while they were talking to women. The women clearly thought they were a couple and excused themselves. I actually overheard the woman say “and I’m here with him!” before flitting off to another guy who she introduced as her boyfriend. I’m not sure if she was conscious that she was cock-blocking but neither her guy friends nor the women were none too thrilled. Later I saw women gossiping and giving the evil eye to other women. They were being snarky. And the men were noticing and getting completely turned off by their immaturity.

Listen ladies: you don’ t need to be friends with every other woman, but you don’t have to be enemies either. It’s why the term “frenemies” was created – smile and pretend to like everyone because your behavior says a lot about you. You don’t want to appear jealous or insecure or catty. Wait until you leave and are in the car driving home with your girlfriends to unleash, if need be. But while you’re at a singles event or on a date, refrain from talking badly, giving the evil eye or gossiping. Lashon hora is not a flattering look.


Gossip Girls (and Guys)

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Although us ladies are known for our gossiping ways, guys are guilty of it, too. Even so, it’s probably a good idea to keep the gossip for girls’ night out and not for your dates. Your date is not to be confused for one of your girlfriends. Not only will you bore your man to tears, but men tend to view gossip as petty, jealous and negative. These are not traits you want anybody to think of when they think of you, especially not your date. And it doesn’t matter if you’re gossiping about someone you know or about a celebrity, it’s not attractive.

The Torah says that only concern for someone’s wellbeing is an acceptable reason to gossip. Your date hearing you genuinely worry about a friend’s health or financial problems will only confirm to him how caring a person you are. Biting your (evil) tongue can go a long way. Not only will your date appreciate it, but your mindset may change and cause you to start looking at the world in a more positive light.

Nobody is perfect and nobody should expect you to be perfect. But cutting down on bad habits such as gossiping can lead you to becoming a better, more thoughtful, more appreciative and more positive person. And that’s someone that will be seen as more attractive in other’s eyes.