Halloween And Empathy

by GemsFromJen under JBloggers,Judaism

It’s that time of year again. It is in the air, Halloween.  A few weeks ago, while visiting my parents, I asked each one of them what Halloween was like for them as children.  Their answers were completely different than what I had conjured up in my own mind about each of their childhoods.

My mother was raised as a Conservative Jew. Her father was very observant and did not believe in putting any time and/or energy into holidays that were not strictly Jewish. My mother who grew up in New York City wasn’t allowed to trick-or-treat. She never dressed up, felt the excitement all day at school, or got to look forward to the chocolate bar before bed on Halloween night.

 My father was raised as a Reform Jew and was able to partake in trick-or treating. I always imagine his early years as Leave it to Beaver. He had an older brother, a working father, and a mother who seemed to be able to fix any problem in 22 minutes or less. His Halloween night was spent in costume going door to door collecting money for Unicef. Again, no chocolate bar before hitting the pillow for the night. But, what a concept; spending an evening with friends doing something for someone else. How many of us really, truly do that?

I grew up waiting for the one night of the year to collect as much candy as possible.  My brother and I would compete to see who could get more. It is not easy to admit, but at times I’m still like this. Putting my needs, even if they are just a hankering for a good old-fashioned chocolate bar before someone else’s.

If for just a few minutes a day we were to all do something kind for someone else I believe this world would be a much happier, kinder and gentler place. Think about this next time you go on a date.  Put yourself in the other person’s shoes for just a few moments. If you feel nervous imagine how the other person must feel. It takes a lot of effort to date and to put oneself out there. It makes us vulnerable which can be a scary place to be. Be kind with your dates. Honesty, integrity and helping someone feel more at ease are all signs of great character.  Make these attributes part of who you are and treat people in a manner that you would like to be treated. In essence, collect for Unicef on Halloween night, instead of going out there for as much candy as you can get your hands on. You still get the pleasure of trick-or-treating without gaining an ounce, and you did something good for someone else.  I imagine if we all took the time to do this all of our dates would have much happier endings.

In the Overhead Compartment or Beneath the Seat in Front of You…

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under JBloggers,Relationships

I’m constantly reminded by the flight attendants that the Airline only allows one carry-on baggage that can either fit in the overhead compartment or beneath the seat in front of me.  Aaaah, wouldn’t life be that grand if relationships were the same? You start dating someone, things are great…you are in the honeymoon phase…you can’t get enough of each other..it is an intoxicating high… AND thump….clarity ensues as you learn of the proverbial baggage that we all have… So, now what? The airline usually takes the excessive baggage and makes you check it- but in reality, the temporary fix of the reshuffle is not that easy.  We all have histories and we all have baggage, so I guess the bottom line is whether we can deal with the pieces that have been revealed or do we opt for someone with less pieces?  Divorce..widow…kids…jailbird..axe murder…insane mother…depression… are all pieces that don’t always neatly fold into the ideal ‘Leave it To Beaver’ Land.  Of course, being able to deal with the proverbial baggage depends on your own individual history, exposure and strength.  And if you decide you can’t deal, who knows if the next lover won’t have the same baggage or more? I guess I’m wishful in hoping the baggage of my future mate fits neatly in the overhead compartment. But, that’s highly unlikely because life is not a fairytale.  However, the truth is that I would rather opt for the “right person” with excessive baggage than the wrong person whose baggage fits neatly into the overhead compartment.  But I guess that also depends on the weight restriction…