Is there anything worse than being on a date with a person whom you never want to see again? Okay, aside from disease, starvation, and the WNBA, is there anything worse than being on a date with a person whom you never want to see again? It’s miserable. Your date is so annoying.
You think the date is going well at first, because dates always start out great. You pick her up and you’re both smiling like idiots and she seems really interested in everything she has to say. Then you worry that her sensibilities are too delicate for your tastes, but then she makes a joke and you think that everything is going to be okay. But everything is not okay. You slowly realize that you don’t like this person and the $50 lobster that you ordered will not be enjoyed with good company.
However, not all is lost. Remember, you are never going to see this horrible person again. Go ahead, tell her your deepest secrets. Ask if she will pay for dinner. Since most people don’t like confrontational situations, she probably will. Now that lobster isn’t going to be so bad. You are going to enjoy it for free with the knowledge that you can do whatever you want to in front of this person. Tell her that you just got out of prison on appeal for murder. Who cares. When life hands you lemons, eat a lobster.