under Date Night
As someone who has been in the same city for the last fifteen years, meeting new people to date can be a little bit like a waiting game. Dallas is a city where a lot of people stay for a long time if they’re from here, but the new faces tend to come and go. When a new person comes into our “Young Adult Jewish Community,” it’s like a feeding frenzy. We go from calm, collected adults to hungry, overeager singles on the hunt for the next potential spouse.
I was extremely guilty of this for a while, but in the last year I’ve tried to fix my problem of familiar faces: I’ve started looking outside my city. Through the miracle of Skype, and a mother who was always meant to work as a private investigator (she has a PhD in late-night Googling), I have avoided being tricked by people into strange situations. I’ve also met some amazing people in some amazing places. Starting in April of this year, I widened my search parameters largely to include “relocation,” and occasionally to just people who are online anywhere in the U.S.
Though I worried (and almost secretly hoped, for the sake of a great story) that my first long-distance match would actually be a crazy cat lady, I was in safe hands after a short drive to Little Rock, Arkansas on July 4th. In fact, my four-day-long and three-state-wide first date weekend was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on. Though the relationship didn’t work, it gave me a lot of hope in the possibility of meeting wonderful women outside of Dallas. I even went on a date with a girl I met on JDate while on vacation in New York and have set up Skype dates with other girls in random places.
Is it the most physically-rewarding kind of relationship? Definitely not. But it’s the kind of thing that stops me from excusing my relationship situation by saying, “There’s no one left in this city!” My dating pool suddenly got a whole lot deeper.
About twenty-four hours before being told I was going to be blogging for JDate, I was sitting with my new classmates from business school. They were sitting on their LinkedIn accounts, building networks and uploading resumes. What was I doing? I was sitting on the “currently online” section of JDate and mass viewing profiles.
My name is Aaron Stayman and I am a mass JDater in Dallas, a city without much of a young JDatabase (I wish I could promise that is the worst pun you will see in this column, but I do intend to be a Jewish dad one day). I spend a lot of time on JDate and going out on dates, and even more time thinking about dating. It’s something I enjoy so much, I’ve written and changed friends’ profiles, given Jewish males in my area makeovers, and have referenced books for friends to read to help them get better at the extremely niche game of Jewish online dating.
I’m 23 years old, but like many of you I’m looking to find someone for a serious relationship, even if marriage isn’t in my sights for a little while. One thing I’ve really enjoyed on JDate is long-distance dating. That’s been my niche, and I have plenty of fun stories on that front (especially involving my mother and the lengths she attempted to go to when I went to Arkansas to meet a girl from JDate after Skyping for months, or when she tried to follow me through Central Park on a date during our latest trip to the Big Apple), but those will have to wait until we’ve gotten to know each other a bit better.
The good news for everyone out there, male or female, is that I’m trying to make my time on JDate better every day, as well as everyone else’s time. I have helped guys become cooler versions of themselves — as well as helped them to understand how to bring out the naturally cool people they are. I’ve also made girls laugh and even given tips to female friends about things they can do to improve their dating. I’m no pro, and my advice may even be wrong from time to time (everyone is unique on this site, after all), but I look forward to sharing my random thoughts with you and hope you’ll enjoy the journey we’re about to share together as well!