Email Etiquette: Jumping the Gun

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

It’s easy to get excited once you start emailing with someone on JDate. You feel as though you’ve already jumped through so many hoops and passed so many tests (think of all the possible prospects out there that you DON’T end up emailing with and you’ll get what I mean). The problem with this excitement is that you don’t actually know the other person, and that anticipation builds with each email, and so do your expectations.

When you don’t get an email response within what you consider a timely manner, don’t freak out! Your match could have a deadline at work, or be tending to a sick family member, or helping a friend with an emergency. And if you catch your correspondent on JDate’s Instant Messenger and they don’t respond, don’t automatically consider it a rejection; you don’t know if they forgot to log out and aren’t even at their computer, or if they don’t have the time to properly respond so they don’t want to engage in conversation. Just send a message saying you’re sorry you missed them on IM and that you hope to catch up soon. Then wait for a reply with an explanation as to why they didn’t IM back. This is why I suggest using JDate’s email to make plans and then meet as soon as possible so there isn’t anything lost in translation.


Keyboard Cock-block

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Technology often makes you sound like a complete idiot. It’s not always your fault, but people don’t always read our emails or text messages as we intended them to. Add to that stupid spelling errors and auto correct mistakes and suddenly we appear uneducated. Between your JDate profile, emails and text messages there are a lot of opportunities for your keyboard to cock-block your well-intended advances. Don’t skimp on characters when you’re still dating as people don’t yet know that you actually can spell (ie. How u doin’?). Even if you don’t have any typos you still should be careful about using sarcasm or even flirtation in your messages, until the receiver knows your personality. Don’t assume the receiver will read your message the same way you anticipated. Lesson: reread your profile, emails and texts before sending to make sure that it is painfully obvious what you are trying to say. Later you can let your fat thumbs and silly moods come across in your communications.


Response Rate

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

Well, the main question is, how can I get a higher response rate to emails I send out?  It seems that so many emails go unread and most of the ones that are read go unanswered.

I know it’s a numbers game, but really it would be nice to hear back.  I think there is too much judging going on out there.  Even after going out a few times, people run.

I really do try to give someone a chance.  We all have issues. We all have quirky things we do.  It would be nice to meet girls who are ready, ready to commit, ready to have a life together.  I am 43, I know that I will have to make compromises and I will have to change a bit to fit in with someone new.

It would be great to hear your take on this. Thanks!

Dear Response Rate,

Remember that people without a paid JDate account cannot read their emails, so don’t take every “unread” message to heart. As for the ones that are read, now that’s another story. It’s easy to put the blame on the receiving end, and sometimes they are to blame, but all you can do is try and see how you can better your emails and profile and photos to elicit a higher response rate. Are your pictures showing you in the best light? Is your profile appealing? Are your emails too forward? Try to see how you can switch things up a bit to make sure you’re coming across the way you want to because a lot can be lost in translation online. Aside from that, you seem to have a great attitude, ready to meet someone and realistic about what that means in terms of compromising. Good Luck!