Extreme Profile Makeover: “Feeling Invisible”

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Monday Makeover,Online Dating,Single Life

Dear Tamar,

What does it take to get noticed? I am pretty secure and confident. I know I have a lot to offer – how can I convey it?

-Feeling Invisible _________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Invisible,

Your profile does convey a secure and confident woman who has a lot to offer, so job well done! That said, there are a few things I can suggest to spice it up and get noticed.

  1. First, you need a better main profile picture. I love all of the photos of you traveling and that you captioned them, but your main photo is fuzzy, and the passion and joy I see in your other photos is not coming through.
  2. You reference visiting your son abroad, perhaps address your divorce and children in one sentence by answering it under “A Brief History of My Life.” You only answer four questions, which is fine, but you are missing some pertinent biographical information about how you came to be this secure, well-rounded woman.
  3. Finally, you leave a lot of questions unanswered along the right hand side of the profile, in the “Her Details” section. It’s easy enough to answer what color eyes and hair you have, as well as custody situation, if you keep kosher, if you drink, and how active you are. You should also answer what you studied or what area you worked in prior to retiring. Otherwise you come across as having a lot to hide, which is not what I think you are trying to do.

I think you’re pretty close to a truly great profile. By adding a great profile picture I think you will be well on your way to getting noticed!


by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

In a word: no.

Don’t do it. I don’t care how amazing the photo is, DO NOT USE A SELFIE AS YOUR JDATE PROFILE PICTURE! And don’t make a duck-face either. I know it makes your lips look plump and accentuates your cheekbones, but it’s obnoxious.

Find someone you love who can take your picture and let them snap away when there’s good lighting. Try out different poses and angles, move around, make sure your smile is authentic by laughing about a funny story with the friend or family member who is taking your photo. Change up your clothes and background and keep snapping away. If you cut or color your hair, shave or grow your beard, lose or gain weight, then do another impromptu, unprofessional photo shoot. Take photos when you’re dressed up to go to a party (better to have the party in the background then your front door on the way out though), take photos when you’re on vacation and relaxed. Try to aim for dusk or dawn or overcast days when the sun won’t create shadows or make you squint.

Then, let that same trusted loved one go over the photos with to help you choose. We are our own worst critics, which means that a photo you may not love could be seen as really attractive by someone else. Photos are too important a part of online dating not to take it seriously.

To learn more about creating a great JDate profile, buy How to Woo a Jew: The Modern Jewish Guide to Dating and Mating now!