Self-Esteem Smashing

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

What’s up with these men who show interest in me but don’t act on it? I admit, sometimes I need to be a little more aggressive, yet there’s a fine line because some men do not care for that. Then there are some perfect matches, but there’s no contact. I had a lot of success receiving emails and follow through emails in the past so this is turning out to affect my self esteem. Any advice?

Dear Self-Esteem Smashing,

Dating is tough on the ego. The old saying “whatever does not kill you will only make you stronger” comes to mind. Telling you to be resilient would be the understatement of the century. You’re going to go through dry spells but you’ll only come out the other end if you stick with it and keep your positive mentality intact. Believe me, I know it’s tough. I went through times of despair when I would take breaks, but simply put — and you know this — you’re not going to meet someone if you give up first. Remember not to take it personally. You’re not going to be everyone’s type just like not every guy is your type, even if you do seem to match up on paper (or rather, on screen). Try to widen your net and see if there are other guys out there who may not seem like a perfect match but have just as great traits (or better!).


Bad Mood Blues

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

If you’re scheduled to go on a date and you’re not in a good mood or are not feeling well, it’s probably a good idea to reschedule. Don’t tell your date you’re not in a good mood, just say you’re feeling under the weather and want to see him or her in a few days once you’ve gotten some rest and are feeling better. Make sure to reschedule then and there so that your date doesn’t think you’re not interested and are trying to blow him or her off. When you’re going on a 1st JDate you want to be at your best, mentally too. If you’re down in the dumps, it doesn’t matter how great your date is you’re not going to be into it. Any chemistry you would have won’t flourish. Don’t waste your time or the opportunity. Reschedule and get yourself in the right frame of mind in time for the new date. And if the date happens to suck, you can say you’re still not feeling well and excuse yourself to go home early.