Attracting the Kind of Man I Want

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I am a 59-year-old woman who is in great shape — as well as beautiful, inside and out. I am told I look about 45 years old. I want a successful man who is healthy in body and mind and really wants his life partner. I want someone either a little younger or just a little older than me. How can I meet the kind of man I want? What’s holding me back? Maybe it is my profile?

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It’s tough to look so good when you are in the middle of your life, huh? I know many 50-60 year olds who are in a similar predicament whose age gets in the way of finding someone who is on their level. At 59-years-young you should list your age range on your JDate profile as 50-65 years old. You should make sure your photos back-up your claim of being in great shape and beautiful on the outside and make sure your “In My Own Words” paragraphs show the beautiful on the inside part. You will also have luck meeting someone doing the activities which keep you in such great shape, keep your Magen David necklace on to send a clear message of who you are and what you want. Make sure you let friends know that you are looking and since they know you and therefore know who would make a good match for you. And to answer your question, nothing is holding you back! You just happen to look awesome for your age! Don’t see it as a setback because your attitude needs to match your appearance.

 


Loveless

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

Can you still fall in love at age of 55?

Dear Loveless,

In short: absolutely! The Baby Boom (and generation just past the Baby Boomers) Generation has joined JDate in record numbers lately, either because they are divorced, widowed, or simply never married. At 55, you will have many options from 10 years younger than you to 10 years older, so basically you have a wide age range to choose from as is realistic. At 55 you also have a lot more life experience to draw from in making better judgments regarding love than you did in your 20′s and 30′s. Additionally, your priorities are different in that you aren’t looking for a partner to parent with but rather are looking for a companion – someone to share your life with who has similar interests.


Middle Aged Meltdown

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I met someone a few days after he ended a long term relationship. This man is in his 50s, has been divorced for a decade and has had several long term relationships.  We met and there was an instant click…the likes I never had before. He also did not expect to meet someone he liked so quickly. We go on a few dates a week, have daily communication and intimacy. Now he is slowing down and creating space because he says he’s not ready. He says he likes me very much, doesn’t want to cut off communication and wants to see me. I won’t be intimate if I know he is dating and may possibly be intimate with someone else. Should I just say goodbye and have no contact with him? I feel like I am a contestant on “The Bachelorette.” I have been married, had long term relationships and have dated a great deal. This is the first man I truly connected with. That is why it is so difficult. It’s hard to believe I am middle aged and dealing with this. It’s frustrating because this man clearly doesn’t know what he wants…or is scared of it.  Thanks for reading.

Dear Middle Aged Meltdown,

It seems that men never change, right? Middle aged and as you said, he still “clearly doesn’t know what he wants or is scared of it” and you’re suffering because of it, just like you probably did in your teens and twenties! I hate to advise someone to play games, but I think this is a case of a man not knowing what he’s got ‘til it’s gone. Let him know you need to move on since he can’t make up his mind and cut off communication. Either he’ll come running in a few weeks (which I’d put money on) or you’ll unfortunately have to face the reality that you really do need to move on because he’s not ready, doesn’t know what he wants, or possibly doesn’t feel the same way you do. Good Luck!