A miracle happened last Friday.
It was early afternoon and I had already assumed the worst. A month earlier I had created a Facebook® event that served as an open casting call to go on a date with me if I lost 25 pounds. I was somehow able to lose the weight. However, though twenty something people RSVPd, only about seven were girls. Out of that seven, approximately zero actually agreed to go out with me on that night. I sat in my bedroom and accepted the worst.
After about an hour, I got a text message. I assumed it was a spam email because my phone’s beeping noise doesn’t differentiate between emails and text messages despite my insistence that it clearly define them. The message was from a girl on JDate whom I had been chatting with for a few days. Unaware of the day’s significance, she invited me to an impromptu movie. I immediately smiled and assumed this was the universe paying me back for the last 27 years.
The movie was terrible, but it didn’t matter. Also, I wasn’t really worried about whether or not she’d want to go out again. Okay I was totally worried about that. However, the only thing that mattered at that moment was the fact that I had a date on a night I had prematurely decided was a failure. I still got to enjoy my reward for losing weight.
My next Facebook event will be for my final 25 pounds. In exactly one month from today, I am going to marry somebody. If nobody decides to RSVP, I’ll take anyone who randomly messages me on August 15.