I performed a mitzvah this weekend by facilitating potential romantic relations between two friends meeting each other for the second time. When it became clear that my role would be shared wing woman for the night, I accepted this fate without reluctance. Quite a feat by some accounts, given that I had, at one point in time, had my eye on the gentleman in the scenario. To be honest though, my crushes at times come and go so fast and easy that before I reach for that age-old comforting indulgence of jealousy, I recognize the wide net that I cast for what it is and accept that I can’t win them all. Nor would I want to.

Whether this match-up has any long term potential is extremely difficult to calculate, because as I’ve learned over the last 27 years, free-thinking human beings have, at times, not acted in accordance with my expectations.

I love setting up people.  And from past blogs you probably know I’m a huge fan of recycling.  Just because someone does not work for one person, does not mean that person will not be a perfect fit for your friend.  Trying to do a mitzvah, I recently set up two friends.  The set up went beyond the normal ‘you are both Jewish, breathing and single…L’chaim.’  I view both friends as accomplished, bright, attractive and funny individuals and thought they would enjoy each other’s sense of humor.  Although reportedly the date was a very nice night and they were both attracted to each other, one part of the equation did not feel enough chemistry to motivate a next time.  Chemistry is intangible and although all the check boxes may be present, it is just “the feeling” – excitement, yet calm – that motivates us to give up our limited extra time to put extra effort in for the next time.  Some may argue that this feeling is not instant and it develops over time.  For me, I have experienced both the initial fireworks and the quick demise, and the slow-burning candle. What amazes me is how often two people are on the same date but can have different versions of the date.  He may have thought it went amazing; and well, she said, not so much.  I guess that is why we are on JDate and in the search to find the perfect proverbial “right” lid to fit the pot felt by both parties.