Extreme Profile Makeover: “Ray”

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Monday Makeover,Online Dating,Single Life

Hello Tamar,

Can you take a look at my profile and tell me what I am doing incorrectly? What should be there and what needs to be removed?



Dear Ray,

I’ve broken down my assessment of your JDate profile into three different sections: photos, essays and search. I believe you (and other JDaters) can strengthen your profile with just a few easy tweaks!


Your photos are inconsistent, and although there are 12 of them, a few need to be deleted and the rest should be reordered. Follow my 5 F’s in this order: Face, Full Body, Fun, Family & Friends, Final Photos.

Move the 11th photo of you wearing the suit to your main profile photo. It’s a clear headshot and you’re dressed up. Homerun! The fifth full-body photo with the flowers should be your second pic. The tenth photo with the funny guy should be your third. I would also make the sixth photo by the tree your fourth pic. Lastly, make the fourth photo with sunglasses on the boat your fifth image and then get rid of the rest. If you take some new photos, try to get more close-up shots without sunglasses to show off your face!


I liked most of what you wrote until “The Things I Could Never Live Without.” This is where you need to simplify. You don’t need to say exercise AND spinning AND eating healthy AND yoga. “Living a healthy lifestyle” is enough. The same goes for the section called, “For Fun I Like To…” because you repeat yourself. You could actually delete that section entirely. Under “My Favorite Books, Movies, etc” delete all the details. Just keep the list. Also delete “My Past Relationships” because you cover the subject in “I’m Looking For” and “My Ideal Relationship” very thoroughly.


Being that you’re 46, your age range shouldn’t max out at 46. Up it by just a few years to 48, or even 50. I would also simplify the area under your “Ideal Match” — chances are you’re not really looking for a friend or activity partner, you probably want a relationship, or even marriage, from what your profile says, so make sure your “Details” align.


Overall, I think rearranging and deleting your profile pics will draw some new looks to your profile, and simplifying your essay sections will help as well. It’s clear you’re a passionate person who loves his daughter and that will attract many prospects! Good luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover — “Barbara D”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Barbara D.”


Dear Tamar,

I’m disappointed with the responses I’m getting — most of them are from across the country or from guys I find spooky. I would love a profile makeover.

-Barbara D


Dear Barbara D,

I love your profile name! It’s cute, unique, and I expect it reflects your sparkling personality. I’m sure lots of people see your profile name and think “darn, why didn’t I think of that first!”

Alas, your photos — or rather, lack thereof — leave much to be desired. One photo simply doesn’t cut it. And by now I’m sure you know I hate photos posed against blank walls. You’re tall, blonde and relatively young for a widow, plus as one reads in your profile, you have a great personality, so show all that off in your photos! Find photos with your kids or with friends where your natural smile and happiness are shining through. You can crop out the other people in the photos or simply describe who they are in your photo blurb.

In general, I’m a fan of your “In My Own Words” paragraphs. There a few typos here and there that could be fixed, but nothing major stands out to me that should be edited. Your personality comes through nicely. It’s obvious that you are an active person and that your life is pretty full already, but would be more meaningful if you had someone to share it with you.

I suggest going through your “My Details” section and answering more questions so that there aren’t as many empty sections that say “not answered yet.” Overall though, I think you will be a hot commodity once you add more photos and hopefully that will help attract more men in South Florida. Good luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover — “Justin D”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Justin D.”


Hi Miss Tamar,

My profile seems to be anti-attractive to women. I don’t know what’s wrong with it.  I’ve updated the essays numerous times and the current pictures are fresh and new.

A majority of the women I email check out my profile, but then don’t respond.  That makes me think my profile is the weak link.  I’m entering my third month on JDate and still no dates.  I receive a minimal amount of responses.  My response rate is close to zero.

I’d be grateful for any advice you could provide.  Please pile it on.  Don’t go easy.  =)  Tell me the truth, do I need to see my plastic surgeon?  Maybe you’ve heard of him?  His name is…Dr.Frankenstein. LOL!

-Justin D


Hi Justin D,

Thanks for writing in! Between your email and your profile I want to thank you for making me laugh! I think your profile is very well written with a nice balance of jokes and seriousness. So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty of what can be made better.

I don’t like your pictures, not because you look like you visited Dr. Frankenstein, but because your photos don’t reflect your personality at all. I appreciate you following my advice and having a close-up and a full length photo but your pictures are boring. Have friends snap candid photos of you when you’re out and about or have family take photos of you when you’re celebrating a holiday or birthday. Your natural smile with a random background is always better than a staged photo in front of a white wall. Another option is to find a friend who is an aspiring photographer who would be willing to do a photo shoot with you outdoors. Finally, photos showing you participating in some of your hobbies (any pics of you from last season’s Super Bowl winning Ravens season with you at a game or watching a game wearing a jersey with some friends?) is always a great supplemental photo. You need to have a minimum of 4 photos with 6 being the optimal number to show personality and consistency.

That brings me to your details. I don’t think you need to be SOOO specific with your weight. You’re tall and skinny and women much prefer that than the opposite, but they don’t want to know that you weigh less than them. In Your Ideal Match, I would add “Marriage and Children” because you say so in your Life and Ambitions paragraph. Dating in your mid-20s is difficult because you don’t want to put too young of an age and end up with someone in college and not ready for marriage but you also don’t want to select too high of an age range and end with someone who’s jaded from their biological clock ticking. I think your selection of 22 is good and it should stay there until you turn 30 (if in fact you’re still single at 30 which I’m sure you don’t plan on being). But as you age your maximum age range should continue to stay 3 years your junior. That currently gives you a very narrow age range right now, but that’s okay. Your next birthday is fast approaching so you will soon enough expand your age range.

I really think it’s your photos that are hindering your success. Find or take photos that match your fun and funny personality and you’ll be on your way! That said, if you want me to review the emails you’re sending to the women then send me a sample because maybe you’re doing something wrong there. Good luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover — “David S.”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “David.”


Hi David,

I appreciate the amount of photos you uploaded which really show consistency in your appearance. But (and there’s always a but), you need to reorder them. Consider deleting a few and add a lengthier description to the others. I would make photo #6 (the mud pic) your profile photo as it shows your face close-up — plus it’s unique, interesting and fun. In your current profile photo, you’re wearing sunglasses and not showing your natural smile, so it’s not the best representation of your face. I would delete photos #7 (too far away) and #11 (chef) as they don’t add much value. Even photos #1 and #5 are expendable as you’re wearing sunglasses. Additionally, 11 photos is a bit of an overkill. I would also describe who the cute little girl is in photo #9 since you say you don’t have any kids, but don’t identify her as a niece or god-daughter.

Your profile is overwhelming, I’m not sure how else to put it. Sometimes there’s too much information, sometimes your sarcasm is questionable, and sometimes there’s a bit of a cheesiness factor. The first paragraph in your “About Me” section is great. I would delete the second paragraph completely and leave the third paragraph as is. The music and books you mention are again mentioned in “My Favorite…” and in the “Likes and Interests” tab so there is no need to repeat yourself — especially when the information fits better in another area.

Your “My Life and Ambitions” answer is confusing as it doesn’t align with Areas of Study/Occupation/What I do questions you answered. This is a huge red flag with anyone’s profile. If what you put under Occupation is no longer what you currently do, then address it in this section. Similarly, “A Brief History of My Life” is incredibly confusing. I appreciate good sarcasm, but this was completely over my head. The first line is cute — if vague. The rest of the quotations should be deleted. I mean, I get it, I just don’t think it belongs there. “My Perfect First Date” is perfect. The last line is questionable, but it’s up to you about whether you want to keep it or not. “Things I Could Never Live Without” is very well written, as is “My Favorites.” Under “The Coolest Places I’ve Visited,” you should delete the last line as it is kinda corny. The question is written in past tense, so to say: “somewhere with YOU!” is cheesy. The rest of your answers are good… there’s some humor mixed with seriousness, which is great.

Your “Details” and “My Ideal Match” are fine, broad enough to attract the most potential matches. Again, the list of “Area of Study” is a bit lengthy and confusing. Try to pare that down as a I doubt you majored in six areas. Finally, I like your new profile name, but since you mention a comic book character. I would describe somewhere how you are the female version of that character — rather than just assume a reader will make the connection on their own (adventurous, sarcastic, etc).

Good Luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover — “Justin T”

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Justin T.”


Hi Justin,

Kudos to you on some really great photos! Probably the best array of photos I’ve seen in quite some time! You show consistency, close-up and full-body, family and friends, hobbies and your career. In some photos you look heavier than you are (#2 on ski lift and #5 fancy suit). Those could be eliminated as you have plenty of great photos!

I also think your “In My Own Words” paragraphs are all pretty well written and your “Ideal Match” is general enough… except for the age range. Your age range is pretty narrow and I would strongly suggest widening both the younger side and the older side. Perhaps 25-35? I understand that at age 30 you want someone right there with you beginning a new decade. I can empathize with that, but some young women are old souls and some “older” women are young at heart. Not all 25-year-olds want to party til 5am and not all 35-year-olds are hearing the deafening roar of their biological clocks ticking.

I think you have a pretty solid profile. Since you are new to Southern California, I suggest going to local JDate events in order to meet people in person. You mentioned being concerned about your emails, so if you want to send me a few samples I’ll be happy to take a look and see how you can begin receiving more response.

Good luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover — “Simone”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Simone.”


Hi Simone,

I’ll be honest — I don’t love your profile name as it doesn’t say anything about you or your personality. I’m assuming it’s your initials and your birth date, but that frankly could be just like the JDate-assigned member number. Try to figure out another way to brand yourself. Use your first name, your location, your occupation, your passions, your hobbies, any combination of the above to make your profile name both stand out and represent your personality better than a couple letters and numbers.

I like your photos and I appreciate how you used a clear, close-up image of your face for your main profile photo. I also like that you showed 2 full-body pics next, and then ended with another close-up, showing your consistency in how you look. Your 4th photo is not high-resolution though, so I would either replace it or add another photo. Low-resolution photos don’t get enlarged when a prospect clicks on it and therefore they can’t really see who or what is in the picture. If you don’t know whether your photos are hi or low-res, then click on the photo’s properties and see what size it is. Anything less than 300dpi (dots per inch, as in pixels) means your photo will appear pixelated if enlarged.

Your “In My Own Words” answers were all written well, but there are some typos which are easily overlooked. This can be fixed if read again with fresh eyes. You sound very content and independent, so I would talk more about why you are looking for someone to share your hobbies with and how much more life you have to live — which you want to do with someone else.

You’ve picked a great age range and are general enough with your “Ideal Match” without being too vague. If you wanted to broaden your search, you could add “single” to the marital status for starters and “conservative” to the religion since you state that you don’t care how religious someone is as long as they respect your level of Judaism.

I think you’re on the right track and I wish you the best of luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover – “Jewell”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Online Dating

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Jewell.”


Hi Jewell,

You said you don’t love your profile name, so let’s start there. You have the word “Jew” in your name, so by combining your name and, well, the fact that you’re a Jew, is an easy and awesome play on words. Sometimes the obvious is the best. No need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to your profile name, just go for something cute and unique. Use Jewellicious, Jew4Jewell, or take my lead and craft something new!

Your pictures are great! I prefer the 3rd for your profile pic because your smile seems more genuine there. Obviously you did a photo shoot, which is fine because you used three very different facial expressions and angles to show your look is consistent. To answer your other question, yes, it’s okay to use supplementary pics with your family. You are a mother, so showing pictures of yourself surrounded by people you love is to your advantage. Make sure you include a description stating they are your kids/grandkids. The only time I caution against using pictures with kids is when you’re the aunt or uncle because that can get confusing.

Your “About Me” paragraph is written well. Your concern for non-Jews contacting you on the site can be avoided by mentioning how important your family and your Jewish values are in that paragraph. You can also select the option to only be seen by Jews. I would try to answer at least a few more questions to prove that you’re putting forth the effort, just as you would like the men whom contact you to do. Same goes for the multiple choice questions like “Likes & Interests” — if you have a few special hobbies, then select those from the list.

I appreciate that you maxed out your age range at 10 years your junior, but I don’t think you should be afraid to lower your minimum age range. Five years younger than you is still someone in the same stage of life.

By completing your profile and adding some more authentic photos, I think you’ll have more luck. You’re well on your way! Good luck!

Extreme Profile Makeover – “Marina”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. Today she’s tweaking the profile for “Marina.”


Hi Marina,

I’m going to get right down to it — you need a profile NAME rather than using your member number. By not taking the time to use your creative juices to think of a moniker, you will not stand out among the masses! That was the first thing I noticed.

Then I noticed your very attractive pictures! Great job picking your profile photo, in particular! Add 1-2 more pictures to show even more consistency. People want to know you’re not just posting the only 3 photos you have where you look decent, so the more the merrier. Although attractive, you do look very different from photo 1 with your hair down to photo 2 with your hair pulled back. By adding a few more photos, you will only increase the chances of prospects contacting you!

The “In My Own Words” categories are filled out well enough. Although you should take some time to add a little bit more to each question, particularly “About Me” — and don’t forget make sure the grammar and punctuation are correct. Having someone else proofread your profile is the best way to get fresh eyes on these answers, and to ensure you’re not missing mistakes.

As for your preferences, I suggest upping your maximum age just a few years. However, I do think your age range is already much more realistic than most people. Complete the rest of the “Ideal Match” questions so that prospects know that they are, or aren’t, your type. Also, if you can answer the “What I Do” question under “Background,” it would be best. When people don’t list their career, potential prospects are suspicious of what you’re hiding. You don’t have to be super specific, but you should put the general field in which you work.

I know you’ve been on and off JDate for many years and have trouble getting to a second date. I think being more specific in what you want in a man in the “Ideal Match” section will allow potentials to weed themselves out so you are only approached by men who fit your preferences, and therefore you will have more of a chance of meeting someone you sync up with. You don’t have to be too specific if you want to attract a broad range of men (but that’s a good tactic), just be prepared to ask the right questions on those first dates so you can weed people out.

Extreme Profile Makeover — “Dateless”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers each Monday. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Dateless.”


Dear Dateless,

Upon first glance at your profile I would have a friend whose first language is English help you make fixes to the grammar and punctuation. What you have to say is good, but a reader could be distracted by the typos. Note to all JDaters: have a friend proofread your profile because even native English speakers will let a typo or two slip by!

Your path to converting to Judaism is very interesting and will be a great conversation piece for first dates — just be prepared to discuss it further. Also, you may want to give just a bit more detail about your divorce — namely, how long you’ve been divorced — so that prospects have a better idea as to your relationship history and current status.

Your main profile picture is great, but I would delete the one of you taking your photo in the mirror with your phone and instead add two more pictures of you smiling. I would also add another full length photo of you to show your body. An average of six photos is the right amount to show consistency: a mix of close-ups, full body and different angles, smiles and serious expressions, real and professional.

From looking at your profile, I can’t tell where you live. Make sure to fill out the questions properly because both places answer “where you’re from,” but neither says where you actually reside.

Also, answer a few of the multiple choice questions about  your “favorites” on the Likes and Interests page. The less a profile is completed, the less time someone will take to look at your profile.

Good luck!

Monday Makeover — Nice Jewish Boy

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

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Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers each Monday. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Nice Jewish Boy.”


Luckily I know what NJB stands for (Nice Jewish Boy), I hope girls do too because otherwise your JDate username is a bit confusing. Although tacking your city on to your username was a good call. Acronyms are not always smart to use in your screenname (or your “About Me” spiel) because some initials can be taken the wrong way, while others will leave people dumbfounded. Adding your city to your username is smart because a person’s location search parameters can be cast wide — and this will remind them where you live.

I really like your photos — lots of different angles and different lighting, plenty of close-ups with a few full body shots — good job with that. Since you have friends, especially girls, in your photos I would add the captions underneath to describe who it is in the photos with you. Beautiful women in men’s photos can be intimidating (and same goes for the reverse — handsome men in women’s photos) so let JDaters know if it’s your sister, or a friend’s wife.

Your “About Me” paragraph is simple and to the point. Since you mention traveling as a new love, I would update and add new places you’ve visited after each trip. Adding the ages of your niece and nephew is tricky because you will have to update as they age. Updating is good, however, because it adds an “updated” badge to your profile. Still, being slightly more generic (ie “preschool-age niece and a nephew who’s a toddler”) is better for these purposes. You can be more specific on your dates! I especially like how you ended your essay with a bit of humor. Women like a man who can make them laugh. Good job.

I recommend expanding upon the “I’m Looking for…” and “My Past Relationships” sections (even if it means just adding another sentence). Answers for these questions can be cliche, but you’re not giving the question enough credit by only writing a few words.

I appreciate that you’ve filled out nearly all your “Details” as you’d be surprised by how many people don’t! The only two that are blank ought to be completed. As for what you’ve selected for age range, I would impress upon you to add two years above your own age for your maximum age limit. Even if you would never (and never say never) date or marry a woman older than you, you can’t make assumptions based on just a year or two. Additionally, women who are viewing your profile will be encouraged that just as you are open to a woman 10 years younger than you, you are also open to a woman a few years older.

I hope these slight tweaks help! Good luck!