How far would you go to potentially meet the “One”?  Would you drive seven hours for a date? For many New Yorkers, an Eastside/Westside; Uptown/Downtown courtship is considered “GU” –Geographically Undesirable.  For me, I’ve come to recognize that having money and a successful career is not what will ultimately fulfill me. So yes, although it’s a pain and more of a challenge, I would travel and fly (and have done so) for the potential “One.” Besides, distance is a temporary situation that can be rectified in the near future and just think of all the frequent flyer miles you can collect in the interim. You just never know where your Bashert may live!

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Dear Gems from Jen,
 
I met and fell in love with someone who lives half way around the planet (Sydney/ New York). He is not prepared to entertain the fact that this could be the real thing because of the distance, whereas I would move heaven and earth to be with him. He ended our relationship to be with a New Yorker. I don’t believe I will ever fall for someone the way I fell for him again. It has been 6 months since we were together and I still can’t stop thinking about him. What should I do?
 
Dear Long Distance Relationship,
 
I know how difficult it can be to have strong feelings for someone and they are not reciprocating those feelings. My best suggestion, although this may seem harsh, would be to move forward and realize this was not meant to be at this time. Sometimes it is easier to think about what could have been rather than the challenges that are reality. 
 
Do yourself a favor and get rid of any mementos you may have from this guy. Rid yourself of emails, text messages, letters, gifts, etc. The more you have to remind you of him the longer these feelings will linger. It sounds as if you have not let go of this man yet. Now is the time to begin the process of letting go in order for you to move forward and meet the person who is willing to move heaven and earth for you.  Start to change your thinking and realize you do have the potential to fall for someone again, and hopefully next time he will be ready and just as willing as you appear to be. A broken heart takes time to mend so surround yourself with people who love and support you. Make the decision to put this guy behind you. Once you take some basic steps to begin the letting go process things will become easier.
 
When you feel ready, utilize the great service JDate provides and begin to enjoy yourself again! I hope this helps.
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen

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Although there’s been a lot of June rainfall for us New Yorkers up to this point, the sun showed itself some on Sunday. Even though most of the locals clear the city during the weekends for the Hamptons and Fire Island (ala “summer hours” – a new phenomenon to me – law firm administrators please take note and implement immediately), personally, I think that is when the City is the BEST. Hanging at Bethesda Fountain in Central Park…a row boat in the Park really can’t get much more romantic, as long as it’s with someone you want to be on the boat with (and not drown)…drinks at the Boat House…can it get any more perfect? NYC not crowded as locals head out of town…priceless.

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It seems most folks are in a constant search for one thing or another. As a recent NYC transplant, this week I have been engaged in an apartment search and honestly I’m not sure which is more challenging…finding the right apartment or the right guy to date? I’ve been pounding the pavement on the UWS (Upper West Side) for the perfect apartment and so far there is something always a little off…which reinforces that it is all about priorities/compromise (as with dating)…perfection does not exist…and maybe if it did, it might actually be a little boring. So, when does my search end for my apartment/mensch?I believe when I have an intangible “content” feeling that this is “the perfect fit” with all its imperfections.

Though my practical side is at odds with my romantic notions, reminding me that in both searches timing is crucial and out of my control, both with an apartment vacancy and finding that perfect-enough-for-me bachelor.

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