We can all agree, writing about yourself is often a challenging and frightening task. When I was applying for jobs, I had such a hard time summarizing who I was in a one-page cover letter. When I then had to try to put together an online dating profile, I found that challenge pop up and slap me across the face once again. Sometimes it’s best to write your profile with a friend that you trust.
- Do: Have a friend come over and help you co-write your online dating profile. A friend that knows you well may be able to pull out some personality traits that you may gloss over.
- Don’t: Have them write it 100% for you. It should still have your voice and your unique touches to it. A friend should be there to compliment the process – not take over!
Get to know Jen Glantz on Twitter: @tthingsilearned
under Date Night
After a good friend of mine moved to NYC, she got an apartment, a job, a roommate, and then her next logical step was to join JDate. And though she’s been on the site before (in other states), she was determined to put together a new profile this time that would launch her into this grand city and it’s chaotic dating scene.
Here’s a few things to know when you are first joining the site.
- Do: Spend time putting together your profile. Pick out 3-4 good photos of yourself (click here for JDate’s tips on selecting great profile pics), and then write at least one paragraph for your “About Me” essay question and a few others like the “I’m Looking For…” and “Things I could Never Live Without” questions. If you’re having trouble putting this together, ask for help from your friends. They already know how others perceive you and can help add some color to your profile.
- Don’t: Rush it. Don’t throw up an unedited bio and a single photo of yourself. Don’t sit there and wait for people to message you or view your profile. If you’re serious about meeting new people, then it’s time to take action!
Read more from Jen at www.thethingsilearnedfrom.com
How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive or cheesy or fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and inticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.
“My Perfect First Date”
Don’t detail an exact date here (ie. early dinner and a glass of vino at Il Cucina followed by a walk on the beach during sunset while holding hands and then sharing a sweet kiss while saying goodbye) because not only do you not want to replicate the same date over and over but then you are also setting yourself up for your date expecting this itinerary.
Rather, discuss the reactions you hope to experience using these types of keywords:
- non-stop conversation
- attraction and chemistry
- lots of laughter
- time flies while we’re having fun
- can’t wait til the next date
- comfortable and easy
Get an Extreme Profile Makeover
Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Robbie.”
I know your initials are in there, but I’m not quite sure what else you’re trying to say with the rest of the profile name. Sayings and acronyms only work if everyone is in on the joke. I know you have a sense of humor, so definitely find a way to use it in your profile name but only if everyone will get it.
Great, consistent photos. Love the fun Mets picture and I’m leaning towards you making it your profile photo as it shows your personality. You’ve done a great job with close-ups, (almost) full length, smiling and serious photos. I would add another photo or two with something funny happening or doing an activity to round out the collection.
IN MY OWN WORDS
Pretty good answers here. So far. You talk about your humor and your love of movies but there’s a lot more to learn about you which you should add to the ABOUT ME section. Where are you from? What kind of childhood did you have? Parents/siblings/nieces & nephews? Where did you go to college? These are a few nuggets of information which give some insight into your background without revealing too much details that should otherwise be left to correspondence and first date conversation.
I would recommend answering the rest of the questions (What I Learned from Past Relationships, My Perfect First Date, A Brief History of My Life — which is where the info I mentioned above belongs).
Everything here looks good except for the few “not answered yet” questions, particularly AGE RANGE and HAS/WANTS KIDS. Those are important questions to answer. You’re on the younger side being in your mid-twenties and that makes the age range narrower than it would be in your thirties and forties. I doubt you want someone who isn’t old enough to drink, so I think 22 should be your minimum and 28 should be your maximum right now. It’s narrower than I typically like, but it’s appropriate until you move into your late 20s (if you’re still single then). Finally, you state that you want kids so it makes sense to select “yes” when asked if you want to meet a woman who wants kids. Unless you feel strongly about a woman having children right now, then it’s okay to leave that blank but it’s even better to select “doesn’t matter” so that you don’t have blank spaces.
under Online Dating
I feel when I email someone for the 1st time, it’s always a lame question. What should I be asking and how many questions should I ask?
What to Ask in an Email
Dear What to Ask in an Email,
Start off an email by telling the prospect what it was about them that attracted you, what made them stand out and what compelled you to write them. Mention a few similarities. You don’t need to ask any question, except for: would you be interested in getting together? There’s no need to start exchanging pleasantries via email because you already know so much about each other from your JDate profiles and you need to leave whatever is left of the typical first date chat for the first date.
under Online Dating
Millions of men that sign up for online dating spend almost all of their energy trying to find the perfect pictures, and trying to write women the perfect messages. Don’t get me wrong, these things are tremendously important. However, while it is great to make your messages and profile pictures as intriguing as possible, many males completely neglect the importance of writing a great profile.
The truth is, it’s easy to understand why men would overlook this. It isn’t exactly fun for most men out there to sit down and try to create the perfect profile. Unfortunately, life isn’t always fun, and creating a profile that builds on many different levels of attraction and interest is extremely important. Especially for men.
Why? Because the female thought process tends to work as follows:
First a women looks at your message. If she is intrigued she will move on to your profile pictures. If your profile passes the test she will then move on to you your written profile.
Your written profile is the final point at which she will make her decision. Create one the right way and you will succeed. Fail to deliver and you may just find yourself striking out.
Bottom line: always take the time to create a great online dating profile, while using all the most effective profile building techniques possible. It is critical to success.