Parallel Jewniverse

by JeremySpoke under JBloggers,JDate

I just had the most amazing idea.  What would happen if JDate, and social networks and singles websites in general, gave people the worst impression of each member?  For example, instead of posting four of the most flattering pictures of yourself, you would post the absolute worst four pictures of yourself that you can find.  This may be difficult for models, but then why would models be on dating sites in the first place?  I know that the discrepancy between your profile pics and your actual self can be frustrating.  You are nervous before meeting people because you feel that your pictures don’t accurately convey your physical qualities.  It can be equally frustrating when you go out with someone whom you thought looked completely different.  You don’t want to be rude, but it is somewhat aggravating.

This can all be eliminated.  Under the ‘Physical Info’, for example, say that you are at least five inches shorter than you really are.  Under “My perfect first date,’ say something like your “perfect first date involves fast food and movies at your parents’ house.”  Be sure to mention that you do not have a car.  Under ‘My past relationships,’ mention that all of your past relationships have involved imaginary dates with your fourth grade teacher and outings with your Cabbage Patch Kid/Teletubby (depending on your age group.)  Say that your ‘Ideal Match’ is a chain smoking drunk who is 20 to 25 years older than you with a degree from an unknown college.

Now, you have nothing to worry about.  First, you can be sure that your potential date is just as good looking or better in real life.  Second, you can be sure that your date will not be disappointed in any of your attributes.  Then you can build from there.  The sky is the limit when you are a 60 year old, fat chain smoker with little to no education or personal hygiene!