I witnessed an odd, yet beautiful, sight today. While sitting in traffic, I watched as the woman in the car in front of me and the man in the car next to her started making eye contact while keeping pace with each other’s cars. Then he motioned for her to roll down her window and they began introducing themselves and exchanging pleasantries. Suddenly he motioned again while yelling something indecipherable to me and they both signaled to change lanes towards the right and exited.
It made me think about what they could each glean from the other meeting on a freeway. You can see the type of car the other is driving, although you have no idea if it’s paid or if they have a car payment or if the car is leased. You can see if they take care of their car if it is clean on the outside and inside, and that will reflect if they take care of themselves and their homes. Yes, these two people could see each other’s attractive faces but their first impression was also shaped by the vessel they were traveling in.
Be prepared to meet anyone anywhere. But try not to judge a book by its cover. A car is just a material thing, it doesn’t make the man (or woman).
On the first few dates we are on our best behavior, but that doesn’t stop us from passing judgment on others when they share something we disagree with. So when a date mentions that he or she took 6+ years to graduate from college, or informs you that they are in their 30′s and have 3 roommates in a 2 bedroom apartment, or when he or she orders pork-wrapped shellfish, what do you do? Well, most people would grimace. Their eyelids would widen, their eyes would flit left and right, and their jaw would probably drop. Most people wouldn’t know how to respond. And if they did, their voice would most likely be dripping with contempt.
Brace yourself for the chance that you will more than likely hear or see something that stuns you. Try to keep your facial expressions to a minimum, control the tone of your voice and be non-judgmental in your response even if you are bursting at the seams on the inside. You don’t need to have another date with this person, but you also don’t need to make them feel bad about themselves.
While you’re prepping yourself mentally for dates, take it to the next level and try to actually stop passing judgment and not just pretend. The fact of the matter is that no one is perfect. While you may be disgusted by someone’s lifestyle choices, they may be just as turned off by yours. You’re both single and while you may not be right for each other, that doesn’t mean you’re any better than the other person.