Dating is unfortunately filled with games and rules, playing “hard to get” being the biggest, but rules are made to be broken and you can’t always be so frigid and rigid when you’re single and desperately seeking. That means if a guy doesn’t call within two days, you shouldn’t automatically write him off. Now, I don’t believe there’s ever a good enough excuse with cell phones being glued to our heads nowadays, but sometimes a great guy deserves a “pass.”
This “pass” only works if you’re not sitting by the phone waiting and checking to make sure the ringer is on so you haven’t missed a call, or keeping your cell on vibrate in your hand during a movie just in case. This “pass” only works if you’ve been so busy working, schmoozing and, yes, even dating, that you didn’t notice the extra few days that elapsed between the time he asked for your phone number in the last JDate email and when he actually dialed it. The hope is that the guy was just as busy living his own life as you were living yours so he didn’t call until he had sufficient time to dedicate to speaking with you. Decide if you want to give him that “pass” but don’t let him know that. Be that easygoing gal that every guy says he wants. But do make a note of it in the back of your mind because if it happens again then it’s a problem.
More rules that were made to be broken next week…
under Date Night
So I have very different views than my best friend when it comes to phone versus text-versations. I absolutely abhor drawn out convos via dialing, and she hates reading the convos set forth through tiny screens. I guess dating etiquette dictates that when it comes to the first meet and greet, one should call to confirm before the date. But what if neither one of you want to chat? I guess your preference comes into play when figuring out the logistics of the date. Also, ne should never assume that a call is needed to confirm. In this age of technological advancements you have to clear a path for communication before you get thrown a busy signal. When lines get crossed, try another form of talking and put in the effort before your somewhat significant other dials out of area.
Dear Gems from Jen,
I got an e-mail on JDate from another member who gave me his phone number. My question is should I have called him right away after receiving that e-mail or should I wait for him to make the next move by calling me first? I asked my mom and she told me to wait a day and see what happens and that if he is really interested in me that he would call me first or should I call him first?
Dear Phone Calling,
My question to you is; why would you wait to call this guy? He gave you his number and in my opinion that is your cue to pick up the phone and call him. I realize it can be uncomfortable for a woman to call a man, but he gave you the number which is a sure fire sign that he would like to speak. Perhaps he felt uncomfortable asking for your number since the two of you have never met. I know I would prefer to get the number rather than give out my number when only corresponding through email. Do yourself a favor and don’t begin a potential relationship by playing games. If you are interested in getting to know him better pick up the phone and give him a call. Keep in mind that what worked for mom may not work for you.
Gems from Jen