Love At First JDate: Handing Out Your ‘Digits’

by JenG under JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

When I first told a small group of my closest friends that I was going to join JDate, one of them (who has spent a couple of months on the site), turned to me with endearing and enthusiastic eyes and asked, “What’s your plan?”

Plan? What kind of plan did I need? Don’t I just set up a profile with my “who, what, where, why, and when,” and just wait? Did I need to make a to-do list, or a color-coded chart to handle my new wired up dating life?

I told my friend that my plan would include simply emailing any guys I had interest in to set up a date. “Email?!” she said with a non-stop laugh. “That wont go over well.”

Before I joined the site, I was wary about giving out my number. I have a very close-knit relationship with my phone, it goes everywhere with me, even the bath tub (thank you overprotective phone case). The last thing I want is a swarm of text messages from a jumbled mess of men I wouldn’t be able to place a face to a name to… yet. My “plan” of action would be to give out my phone number to a guy, but only after we met in person, and only if we really hit off.

After spending a week on the site, and having several requests to exchange numbers, I quickly realized the only sense of a “plan” I had going into this was suddenly an ultimate failure. I was even turning off guys where I thought there might have been potential. When someone intriguing asked for my digits, I’d say something awkward and nonsensical, making me seem mistakenly distant or uninterested.

So, here’s what I’ve uncovered about sharing your digits:

Don’t: If you’re still not sure you like someone you’re chatting with, and feel as though you need to go on bantering a little more online before handing over your digits. Keep the conversation flowing and casually mention you’d like to keep getting to know more about them before meeting up. If they are turned off, or make you feel uncomfortable, accept this as a possible red flag.

Do: Give out your digits if you feel like you’ve hit it off with someone and wouldn’t mind a quicker chat to occur via the dancing of thumbs on your cellular phone. Also, do give them 500 bonus points if they take your digits, and instead of admiring them, they actually pick up the phone and call you to ask you out on a date.

Why Did She Give Her Phone Number If She Won’t Call?

by jpompey under JDate,Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

It is not always easy for the male dater to receive a phone number online.  Sometimes this takes a lot of hard work, practice, and dedication since there are so many more females being hit by guys.

However, sometimes we do receive a woman’s phone number and we get all excited. Unfortunately, for some reason, she does not pick up the phone when we call.   This can be a very confusing thing.  Why would this girl spend all this time not only talking to me, but giving me her phone number, as well, only to not pick up the phone?

Often times when this happens it is because there hasn’t been enough of an established bond and comfort between you and the person you were talking to.  Chances are she enjoyed talking to you and gave out her phone number for a reason.  However, as time passed on between your conversations online and your actual phone call, her comfort level may have decreased along the way, and she no longer feels comfortable picking up your call.

One way to battle this is to establish an inside joke during your actual online conversations.  Then, before you ever call, send a text message relating to that inside joke you have planted.  I call this “conversation seeds.”  Now you will have something to joke about through text messages that may last a couple of days, texting on and off.  This should be done in a flirty, playful way.  This also allows you to smoothly transition from online to real life.  When you do eventually call, her comfort levels will now be raised due to her increased bond and familiarly with you.  If done properly, this will have any girl looking forward to a date with you in no time.