Can you please tell me if my pictures or profile needs a make-over?
-Photo Perplexed ____________________________________________________________________________________
Hi Photo Perplexed,
I really liked what you wrote in your profile and you answered the questions quite nicely. You could go back and fix some typos, but I like what you had to say and found that you described yourself and what you’re looking for quite well. You seem to be true to yourself, and it is endearing.
I wasn’t as impressed by your photos; my initial reaction was that they are not “naturally you.” I do recommend going on photo shoots, but it’s not ideal when it is obvious you are posing for a camera. I advise deleting all the photos except for the 2nd one and the last one while you take or find new ones.
The other thing that I didn’t really like is that you aren’t smiling in any of the photos! The lack of a smile makes it seem like you are not as approachable as your profile makes you out to be. Whether it is a friend or a professional photographer, ask someone to take photos of you in a natural, organic setting (not posing, not in front of a white screen), somewhere that shows you relaxed and enjoying life!
under Date Night
In a word: no.
Don’t do it. I don’t care how amazing the photo is, DO NOT USE A SELFIE AS YOUR JDATE PROFILE PICTURE! And don’t make a duck-face either. I know it makes your lips look plump and accentuates your cheekbones, but it’s obnoxious.
Find someone you love who can take your picture and let them snap away when there’s good lighting. Try out different poses and angles, move around, make sure your smile is authentic by laughing about a funny story with the friend or family member who is taking your photo. Change up your clothes and background and keep snapping away. If you cut or color your hair, shave or grow your beard, lose or gain weight, then do another impromptu, unprofessional photo shoot. Take photos when you’re dressed up to go to a party (better to have the party in the background then your front door on the way out though), take photos when you’re on vacation and relaxed. Try to aim for dusk or dawn or overcast days when the sun won’t create shadows or make you squint.
Then, let that same trusted loved one go over the photos with to help you choose. We are our own worst critics, which means that a photo you may not love could be seen as really attractive by someone else. Photos are too important a part of online dating not to take it seriously.
To learn more about creating a great JDate profile, buy How to Woo a Jew: The Modern Jewish Guide to Dating and Mating now!
I’m not photogenic! My photos are very different than what I look in reality. In person I look much much better, but no matter how much I try, my photos come out bad. I am not getting a single reply from anyone I email! What shall I do?
Dear Not Photogenic,
Keep snapping away. Hire a professional and see if he or she can capture the angle and lighting that makes you look like you. Then ask your trusted family and friends for their opinions. Other people see you more attractive than you see yourself so even though you may not like your photos or think they look like you, your trustees may disagree. You need at least 4 photos to ensure the consistency of your look, so don’t worry about finding a dozen pics, but the 4 you find should show all of you – from your neck up, from your waist up, from your toes up, and then a complementary and complimentary fourth. Not everyone is Claudia Schiffer, but you can surely find a handful of recent pics especially if you shell out the worthwhile funds for a professional photographer.
under Online Dating
Your photos are old. Your photos don’t look like you. You haven’t taken a good photo since you created your JDate profile. You haven’t snapped a shot of yourself with your new facial hair/bangs/without your braces/clear skin/etc. Forget the reasons, forget the excuses, it’s time.
Go freshen up. Shave. Put on make up. Brush your hair. Whatever you need to do to look your best.
Grab your cell phone.
Go to the mirror.
Start snapping photos from different angles, with different lighting, making different facial expressions. Keep snapping away. Don’t stop snapping. Now go upload those photos to your laptop and send them ALL to one trusted friend/relative.
Pick a few that you like the best and compare with the ones your friend likes the best. Whichever are the ones that overlap, use them as your JDate photos.
Do it now.
I am an attractive, independent young woman. I have been on JDate for well over a year. I hardly get any “hits,” and often when I go out on a limb and make the first move to contact a man, I get no response back. I have had male friends comb through my profile and photos to see if there is any glaring reason as to why men don’t contact me, and they, too, can’t understand! I’m often asked by intelligent and handsome men (albeit non Jewish men) why I am single, I get cat calls and looks when walking down the street, and all of the truckers wink at me when I am driving… so why do I have so much trouble attracting men online? I just don’t understand. Maybe you can enlighten me…am I doing something wrong???
Dear Hit or Miss,
I’m sorry you’re not having a good experience thus far on JDate, but I do believe that together we can turn it around for you. Even though you’ve had male friends vet your profile, I would recommend starting from scratch: new profile name, new photos, new blurbs and even adjusted preferences. It doesn’t matter what your friends think at this point because you haven’t gotten any hits, so you need a total profile makeover. Hide your profile and then spend the next few weeks taking new photos of yourself, spend some time jotting down new name ideas and sit down to make a realistic list the qualities you want your ideal mate to have. Once you’re ready, un-hide your profile and start “Click!”-ing your matches so the men know you’re interested. Before you unveil your new profile, remember to shake off your past experience and don’t let it haunt your future.
under Date Night
I just simply do not take photos that do me justice, flatter me or show that I am really a very attractive woman. So, I joined JDate without a photo and have had a few responses but no dates. What do I do?
Dear JDate Blind Date,
The answer is simple: you need to, no, you must, have photos. No one is going on JDate for a blind date. Regardless of your attractiveness factor, everyone can take a few decent photos even if you’re the least photogenic person in the world. Oftentimes, by the way, it’s not your lack of presence in front of the camera but the photographer. I would recommend you do something for yourself and for your dating life — spend the money to hire a professional photographer to take pictures of you — headshots, candids, full body poses, etc. Not only will you then have photos to use for JDate, but in 20 years you’ll be happy you have photos to look back on that you actually like and that actually look like you. Think about it this way — would you spend time getting to know a guy who didn’t have photos but promised you that he was good looking? Probably not. So gather your friends around to help with hair, make-up and wardrobe and go enjoy being a supermodel for a day! You deserve it and so does your dating life! Good luck!
What happens when you put a group of attractive and single JDate members together in a room with a half dozen JDate success story couples of all ages? JDate Photo Shoot 2009, of course!
Two weeks ago, the JDate marketing team organized a professional photo shoot at Smashbox Studios in Los Angeles where JDate members and success stories were invited to receive the fashion plate treatment and pose to be the next “faces of JDate.” The photos, to be used in marketing campaigns both onsite and off, were to capture real moments in relationships and the authenticity of the JDate experience.
Once the ice was broken (which took all of about 5 minutes), it was time to hustle our models into hair and makeup, wardrobe, and lastly, in front of the flashing lights of the camera. Our models blew our expectations out of the water and posed as naturally as if they had been born to smile and strut their stuff.
In between shooting, singles mingled (a few even exchanged numbers!) over delicious food and success story couples traded anecdotes of how JDate has changed their lives.
Here are just a few of the beautiful photographs that resulted from the shoot:
Barb & Larry came all the way from Scottsdale, AZ to participate!
Haleh & Itai are getting married in September! Mazel tov to the happy couple!
Lorraine & Marv met as childhood friends and reunited several decades later via JDate!
Don’t Nicole & Max make the most adorable couple!?