Missed Opportunity?

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

Dear Tamar,

I dropped my JDate membership just before (or maybe just after) receiving an invitation from a potential match. Anyway, I just reinstated my membership and read a previously unopened letter from 10 months ago. I viewed the woman’s profile and liked it. Unfortunately, her last check-in was the day she sent the letter to me. I emailed a response, but what’s the chances she’ll even know she has mail on JDate?

-Missed Opportunity



Dear Missed Opportunity,

Unless the object of your affection joins JDate again, the chances are that she won’t see that email. If she hasn’t logged in at all in the past 10 months, then it seems that you did indeed miss an opportunity. She may be in a relationship by now, or she could have taken a break (like you did) and may be rejoining JDate again soon. Either way, you now have even more motivation to stay active on JDate because you will either find someone else or the previous potential suitor will sign back in.

JDate, and dating in general, is a numbers game. You’re going to have missed opportunities, unanswered emails, and email exchanges that lead nowhere. You may also experience several first dates that never result in a second date, and even one or two long-term serious relationships before you meet your Beshert. If you keep at it though, the odds are in your favor.

In the meantime, stay active on JDate by viewing profiles, clicking on Secret Admirer, sending emails and going on dates. Maybe one day that missed opportunity will reappear and you will fall head over heels in love! Or maybe her inactiveness saved you from what could have been a terrible waste of time… and will ultimately lead you to your Beshert!

Pre-order your copy of “How To Woo A Jew — The Modern Jewish Guide to Dating and Mating” now!

Make Me a JDate Match

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

Matchmakers have had to take on new techniques in this modern day of technology. Recently I got an email from a friend with a link to a JDate profile, asking me if I knew the girl and if I would approve of him making contact and… get this… if I would lay the groundwork by telling her what a good guy he is as well.

I did know the gal and did approve of his choice, so I agreed to do what he asked and sent her a message letting her know that a guy friend of mine saw her on JDate and would be contacting her on JDate, but wanted to make sure she knew who he was since she was more than likely being inundated with messages. She wrote me back and told me she was interested as well and would look forward to his email.

This is just another example of how to proactively JDate and use all your contacts (and means) to meet your Beshert.

Start the New Year Right!

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Judaism,Online Dating

Shana Tova to the dating MOTs!!!

Start the Jewish New Year off by revamping your JDate profile, paying for a membership if you’ve been relying on the free one, and contacting that perfect match (with the cute profile pic) who you’ve been playing “View My Profile” with for the past few weeks.

If you are frustrated with still being single this high holiday season, but you’re not being totally proactive, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Use this religious fresh start to jump-start your dating life.

Take new photos, rework your profile Q&A’s by using my tips from the past few weeks, ask your JMom for a six month membership…or just hit your wallet up (you’ll thank me later for the sound investment), and email that hot guy or gal you’ve been peeping.

Then enjoy: http://www.buzzfeed.com/danoshinsky/rosh-hashanah-the-q-and-a

Monday Morning Blues

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

The start of a week with what is most likely amazing weather outside your office window while you’re stuck inside until late afternoon each day is enough to put a damper on anyone’s mood. Try to change the odds in your favor by booking at least one date this week. By having something to look forward to, you will perk up and while the week may feel like it’s draggin at first it will seem to have flown by in retrospect. While you’re at it, book a second date. One during the week and one on the weekend. How?, you ask? Use the Secret Admirer feature to let prospects know you’re interested and Favorite them and send them a Flirt. Men who see these clear hints a woman is interested should write an email. Women who notice a man repeatedly viewing her profile can also send an email. JDate works best when you’re actively using the tools they provide so stop browsing and start clicking!

Do Something About It!

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

You’re single… you hate being single, you hate feeling desperate, you hate putting yourself out there, you hate being rejected, you hate having to sell yourself, you hate being single. But if you’re not putting yourself out there then how are you going to meet anyone? And if you don’t risk being rejected then how are you going to meet anyone? If you hate having to sell yourself then how are you going to meet anyone? If you hate being single then do something about it! You really can’t complain about being single if you aren’t on JDate and aren’t going to Jewish single shmoozers and aren’t asking to be set-up.

My friend Beth was just lamenting to me about how much it sucks being single. I asked her if she was on JDate and she said “not right now” and kvetched about the cost. I told her that she shouldn’t put a price on finding her Beshert especially when she pays that much to go out just one night. And even if you don’t meet your Beshert on JDate, the experience and mindset will help you on your other dates. She relented and went back to reactivate her membership.

Hopefully I’ll be able to put her money where my mouth is!

A Numbers Game

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

New data is out and it puts the odds in your favor:
-87 million. That’s the number of singles in the United States.**
-40 million. That’s the number of singles that have tried online dating sites.**

**US Census Bureau 2011

Try to wrap your head around that number – forty million. That’s a lot of people! Granted, Jews only make up about two percent of the U.S. population… but still, that’s still a huge number!

It’s my people watching skills that have left me baffled about the numbers game. The guys I saw on JDate were not the same guys at the single’s events or volunteering with Jewish Family Services. I would randomly meet Jews I had never before seen or met at bars whom had never been to a Jewish event! That means those people were not upping their odds because they weren’t as involved as they could be. It was better for me because I was doing it all and was meeting them all, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find that many of those people are still single today because they’re just not doing everything possible. Of course, I met my husband at a random bar after agreeing last minute to go with a friend to a birthday party while I was vacationing in Tel Aviv, so my theory proved itself.

You HAVE to be proactive! I’m a living, walking, breathing example of how increasing your odds does work! I’ve heard all the excuses – you’re tired, you’re busy, you’re frustrated with being single and fed up with seeing the same faces over and over again. The first two are tossaways, but the last excuse gets me every time — remember, it only takes one new face!