Extreme Profile Makeover: “Joseph”

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Monday Makeover,Online Dating

Dear Tamar,

I have recently become single again after 3 ½ years off the market, and I set up a JDate account. I was wondering if you could take a look at my profile and tell me what you think.  If you could let me know if there are things I should change, things I should add, etc, I would be grateful.

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Dear Joseph,

I am quite impressed with your profile. You write well and don’t have any glaringly off-putting statements. You uploaded 11 photos, which show your face, body type and interests quite well — but I do believe posting 11 photos is overkill. Try to eliminate at least 3. I recommend people upload between 6-8 photos covering the five Fs:

  • Face
  • Full Body
  • Fun
  • Family & Friends
  • Final Photos

You’ve covered face, full body, and fun, but you don’t have any pictures of you with any of your loved ones. Try to add something there, even if it’s with your dog. Final photos are there to reinforce the consistency of your appearance, which you have covered well.

The only other thing I would add is a one-liner about your divorce. Simply say “I was married at a young age for a short time and learned a lot about what I want in a partner,” or something along those lines. You don’t need to go into detail on JDate, or on a first date, but you should address it briefly and get it out of the way as women will wonder.

Your age range of 24-34 for a 31-year-old is perfect. I recommend a 10-year range and a woman any younger than 24 will likely have a disconnect with you since you’re already a professional with life experience who is looking to settle down. If you aren’t finding enough women who fit your preferences, then try expanding your area by looking in nearby cities and possibly being open to dating a woman with a child or a woman who is shorter or taller than your saved preference.

Good luck!

 

Buy Tamar’s new book How To Woo A Jew: The Modern Jewish Guide to Dating and Mating on Amazon or in bookstores now!


Extreme Profile Makeover — “Daniel R.”

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Monday Makeover,Online Dating

Hello Tamar,

I have rewritten my profile many times, and I am not sure why people don’t respond to me or even message me. I am heavier than I am now in some of my pictures, but I am not sure how to write that. I could use a lot of help redoing my profile. Any help you can provide is greatly appreciated.

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Hi Daniel,

In looking at your profile and pictures, I think you fall into the common trap of providing too much information and writing in ways that make sense in your head — as you would say it — but that don’t necessarily read smoothly.

In regards to your weight gain, update your photos to show how you look now. If you don’t have photos, then take them. In the meantime, you don’t have to specifically address the weight gain, but you do need to change your body type as it states “average/medium build” when you are larger than that. But this is where you give too much information as your exact weight isn’t necessary. I don’t recommend that anyone complete their exact weight as stating your build and providing accurate pictures along with your height is enough. There are two photos of you with another guy (who I assume is your brother), please add descriptions to your photos and specify which guy you are in the photo, as you and your brother look alike.

Proofread your paragraphs; there are many typos. However, the paragraph under “A Brief History of My Life” is where you seem to get too detailed — saying you have your MBA is great, but from where is not necessary at this point — that is the information you want to save for the first date! You mention a few of the same things twice in answering different questions, for instance your dream job and hanging out with friends. Not all questions need to be answered. If you find yourself repeating, then determine if you actually need to answer both questions.

I would also narrow down what you’re looking for under “Your Ideal Match” and remember to expand your age range as you age.

Otherwise, keep being active, send Flirts, click “Yes, No or Maybe” under Secret Admirer and send short but sweet emails to women whom you find to be strong matches.


Extreme Profile Makeover – “Hillary”

by Tamar Caspi under Monday Makeover,Relationships

Get an Extreme Profile Makeover

Tamar Caspi Shnall is giving online profile makeovers each Monday. This week she’s tweaking the profile for “Hillary.”

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Hi Hillary,

Good call having your profile name be a combination of your name and an abbreviation of the city you live in. The only suggestion I would make is to maybe spell out the entire city because I didn’t know what the acronym was until I clicked on your name and saw where you lived.

More importantly, you need more pictures… way more pictures! The two you have look very different from each other. The first one is cute, but since you’re obviously dressed up for a simcha you need extra supporting photos to show that you always look that good! You’re second and only other photo makes you look much older than you are and much different than your profile photo. I would delete that one to be honest. You also do not show anything more than your face. Add some full body photos whether you like your body or not — because every man has a type, but more than that, every man wants to know what you look like from head to toe!

You should have about six photos with different angles, different lighting and different poses. Have a trusted friend or relative help you because we oftentimes see ourselves as much different than others — for good and bad. For instance, others often see us as more attractive than we view ourselves and we may think a certain hairdo is sexy, while others think a different ‘do is better on us.

All of your answers under the “In My Own Words” heading are great. Nothing stood out to me that was written poorly, or too much information, or not descriptive enough. Well done.

I appreciate that the minimum age range is 5 years younger than you, but I would increase the maximum. Don’t be afraid of entering the decade above yours because a man in his early 50′s may be younger at heart than a man in his mid-40′s.

Good luck!