Extreme Profile Makeover: “Alex”

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

Today’s Extreme Profile Makeover was requested by “Alex” — if you want your profile reviewed just send Tamar your JDate profile name by clicking here.

Profile Name:
I like your profile name — it includes your actual name without revealing too much personal information and has a catch phrase attached. No issues here. =)

Photos:
You need to add a headshot for your main profile picture, not a professional or business photo, but a close-up of your smiling face with your eyes showing. Next, I would advise some rearranging of photos:

  • Move the pic of you in flip flops from third to second place (the full-body shot typically goes second)
  • Your current second photo can be moved to the third slot
  • Delete what is now your current profile photo

The reason I don’t like your current main photo is because it’s too posed with a fake backdrop; plus it’s oddly cropped. Since you talk about family a lot, try and find a casual photo with a family member (or two or three) and add that as your last photo. Make sure you add a caption to identify who is who — and try not to have any female family members around your age in the picture as that can be confusing!

In My Own Words:
I like a lot of what you have to say in your bio, but I do think it can be condensed and edited. You say a lot of the same things in different ways as different answers, and it can get redundant. I understand that you want to make sure a woman knows you’re being authentic, but at a certain point the overkill has the reverse effect. Right now your profile is coming across a bit strong with the “keywords” — something you will understand since you’re in online marketing.

Here are a few quick tips to help you pare down your profile:

  • Cut any sentences that include the following words: honest/honesty, trust, respect, and any variation of the terms desire/adore/cherish/etc.
  • Sometimes less is more and you will prove that you believe all of the above by your actions
  • In fact, you can delete the middle two paragraphs of your “About Me” section
  • And in the “My Perfect First Date” answer, you use the word simple three times: delete the third one and simply say (no pun intended): I want to do something easy

Another way to condense is to not answer all of the questions since many force you to repeat the same answer in other ways. I think you can eliminate “The Things I Could Never Live Without” and “For Fun I Like To” and “I’m Looking For” (or “My Ideal Relationship”).

His Details:
Select “a couple extra pounds” for body type and delete your income.

My Ideal Match:
Delete “A Date” and “An Activity Partner” since you are looking for your wife. Adjust your age range. You are a 28-year-old man, so your ideal general age range should be 22-30.

Finally, when you’re searching, play with the preferences for location since New York City is so populated. You are in the perfect location to find someone, and I think the profile makeover will help you do just that!


Q & A — You Should Definitely Message Me If You…

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

  • “You should definitely message me if you…”

The last question in JDate’s list of essay questions may seem like a throw-away at first, but it can definitely help to encourage other online daters to message you. Answer it… or don’t. But if you do answer it, then SEAL IT WITH A KISS — as in, “keep it simple, stupid!” Here are a few examples to show you what I mean:

  • “…think we would hit it off.”
  • “…see something about me that caught your eye.”
  • “…notice we have a lot in common.”
  • “…like what you see!”
  • “…you’re interested in learning more.”

That’s it. No need for more. Your one-liner can be cute, it can be quirky, it can be serious — just make sure it’s only one line!


Q & A — My Favorite Books, Movies, TV Shows, Music and Food”

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

  • “My Favorite Books, Movies, TV Shows, Music and Food”

Only answer the categories to which you feel passionately about. If you love all kinds of music, but have a few absolute-favorite, can’t-miss TV shows, then skip music and make a list of your boob-tube faves. These answers can be listed in bullet point format:

  • New Girl – This show makes me laugh out loud every time!
  • Breaking Bad – I never miss an episode. I’m seriously addicted!
  • So You Think You Can Dance – Now you know one of my dirty little secrets! Haha.

If you answered food in another question, such as “For Fun I Like To,” then you can skip that bullet point. If you don’t have one favorite movie, but watch every Matt Damon flick, or you don’t have one favorite book, but read everything Tom Clancy writes, then include that!


Q & A — On Friday and Saturday Night I Typically …

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

 ”On Friday and Saturday Nights I Typically…”
This question is basically asking whether or not you observe Shabbat. Here are possible answers:
-I like go out with friends or cook dinner all together. I love going dancing but don’t do it often enough. During the day I try to do something active.
-I usually light the candles on Friday night before going out to meet up with friends. Saturday is a day to relax and get some fresh air before heading out for a night on the town!
-I always have Shabbat dinner on Friday nights either with my parents or friends and then spend the rest of the weekend going out to the movies, bars, clubs or a street fair.
-I observe Shabbat and enjoy relaxing on the weekends with family and friends without the distractions of technology.

Q & A — For Fun I Like To …

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“For Fun I Like To…”
This is another question where you can have fun. It’s also a question you can skip if you’ve already used the answers in other places. If your first instinct is to type in “travel,” but you already said that in another area — and you already answered “The Coolest Places I’ve Visited”  — then there’s no need to state it again.
This area is good for taking nuggets from your “About Me” paragraph and placing them here instead in an effort to not only shorten the “About Me” paragraph, but also to highlight your fun side in an area where it won’t get buried.
If you do choose to answer this section, then do so with detail, but without getting too wordy. For example:
  • “Play sports such as beach volleyball (the Olympic women’s teams are my heroes!) or rec softball (league champs 3 years in a row!)”
  • “Eat exotic foods — sushi has become a weekly staple so I’ve taken to experimenting with other foods… the weirder the better!”
  • “Volunteer: I’ve been a Big Bro/Sis with Jewish Family Services for 4 years now and it is so fulfilling!”
And of course the other staples which belong in the answer: “I enjoy spending time with family and friends.”

Q & A — My Life and Ambitions

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“My Life and Ambitions”

If “finding someone to share the rest of my life with” isn’t your first line and isn’t the first line of the prospect’s profile you’re viewing, then there’s a huge red flag! Sure, we all have other ambitions in life but this question is being asked on JDate to attract like-minded people, so it’s best to start with the line above or a variation of that line and then continue on to your other ambitions, such as:

-career (becoming a partner in a reputable law firm, starting my own company, surpassing a million dollars in sales next year)
-hobbies (running a marathon, traveling to new countries, learning how to knit)
-personal (spending more time with my Bubbe as she ages, etc).


Q & A — The Coolest Places I’ve Visited

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“The Coolest Places I’ve Visited”

No need to be redundant and repeat any places you’ve already mentioned in other sections (if you’re from Israel, don’t list Israel here but perhaps be more specific about a favorite beach or city). If you love to travel and said so in “About Me” then this would be where you prove that by listing a few cool places you’ve visited. If you’ve never been outside North America but have done some pretty cool things then list those (snowboarding in New Mexico, 4×4 through the Mojave Desert, airboating in the Florida swamplands). If you’ve been to random, unknown countries then list those but if you’ve only traveled to the more popular tourist sites (Italy, or Greece for instance) then again, be more specific about cities or experiences.


Q & A — The Things I Could Never Live Without

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“The Things I Could Never Live Without”

Family and friends ought to be the first answer, then you can have fun with this question. It can be in list form with words separated by commas. Don’t take this question too seriously, unless of course you are a serious person and want to attract other like-minded people. Here are some cute ideas I’ve read and thought of:

-my iPhone (or whichever smart phone you have)

-a glass of Chianti/Bourbon/Local Draft

-sunshine/my snowboard

-a tempur pedic pillow/bubble baths

-ESPN/The Daily Show 


Q & A — A Brief History of My Life

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive or cheesy or fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and inticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“A Brief History of My Life”

“Brief” is the key word here. There are so many other places throughout JDate’s profile which asks about you, so don’t be repetitive. Here are some examples where you can fill in the blank:

-I grew up in __________ with my parent(s) and ## siblings. Graduated from _________ and now live in ___________ where I love my job as a ________________.

-I moved around a lot growing up, living in _____________ , _______________ and _____________ and although my family is now living in _________________ I decided to move  for college to ________________ and have stayed in __________________ ever since.

-I was raised ___________________ (stream of Judaism) and now am _________________ although I still love celebrating the holidays with the traditions set by my parents. I grew up in ___________________ and moved around in my 20s but moved back and have loved exploring the city again as an adult!

Take those type of examples, where you you grew up, how Jewish you are, type of family you have, where you went to school and how you ended up in your current city. Maybe add how you got into your profession. Easy breezy.


Q&A — My Past Relationships

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive or cheesy or fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and inticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“My Past Relationships”

There’s no need to discuss why you were just dumped or why you broke up with your last significant other. Don’t get into the details here of what went wrong, rather talk about what you learned from the demise. This section’s answer shouldn’t be too lengthy, if you find that you’re writing a novel then take that to a journal and leave just the life lessons in your response.

Some examples to use:

I learned what kind of boy/girlfriend I want to be and what kind of girl/boyfriend I need and want

I learned not to sweat the small stuff

I learned that I need affection and that I need someone who enjoys affection in return

I learned how to communicate more effectively

I learned that it’s boring to always agree, but that we need to disagree in a healthy way

I learned not to let things fester but to calmly address issues as they arise

I learned that mutual respect is just as important as mutual attraction