Q & A — You Should Definitely Message Me If You…

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

  • “You should definitely message me if you…”

The last question in JDate’s list of essay questions may seem like a throw-away at first, but it can definitely help to encourage other online daters to message you. Answer it… or don’t. But if you do answer it, then SEAL IT WITH A KISS — as in, “keep it simple, stupid!” Here are a few examples to show you what I mean:

  • “…think we would hit it off.”
  • “…see something about me that caught your eye.”
  • “…notice we have a lot in common.”
  • “…like what you see!”
  • “…you’re interested in learning more.”

That’s it. No need for more. Your one-liner can be cute, it can be quirky, it can be serious — just make sure it’s only one line!


Q & A — My Favorite Books, Movies, TV Shows, Music and Food”

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

  • “My Favorite Books, Movies, TV Shows, Music and Food”

Only answer the categories to which you feel passionately about. If you love all kinds of music, but have a few absolute-favorite, can’t-miss TV shows, then skip music and make a list of your boob-tube faves. These answers can be listed in bullet point format:

  • New Girl – This show makes me laugh out loud every time!
  • Breaking Bad – I never miss an episode. I’m seriously addicted!
  • So You Think You Can Dance – Now you know one of my dirty little secrets! Haha.

If you answered food in another question, such as “For Fun I Like To,” then you can skip that bullet point. If you don’t have one favorite movie, but watch every Matt Damon flick, or you don’t have one favorite book, but read everything Tom Clancy writes, then include that!


Q & A — On Friday and Saturday Night I Typically …

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

 ”On Friday and Saturday Nights I Typically…”
This question is basically asking whether or not you observe Shabbat. Here are possible answers:
-I like go out with friends or cook dinner all together. I love going dancing but don’t do it often enough. During the day I try to do something active.
-I usually light the candles on Friday night before going out to meet up with friends. Saturday is a day to relax and get some fresh air before heading out for a night on the town!
-I always have Shabbat dinner on Friday nights either with my parents or friends and then spend the rest of the weekend going out to the movies, bars, clubs or a street fair.
-I observe Shabbat and enjoy relaxing on the weekends with family and friends without the distractions of technology.

Q & A — For Fun I Like To …

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“For Fun I Like To…”
This is another question where you can have fun. It’s also a question you can skip if you’ve already used the answers in other places. If your first instinct is to type in “travel,” but you already said that in another area — and you already answered “The Coolest Places I’ve Visited”  — then there’s no need to state it again.
This area is good for taking nuggets from your “About Me” paragraph and placing them here instead in an effort to not only shorten the “About Me” paragraph, but also to highlight your fun side in an area where it won’t get buried.
If you do choose to answer this section, then do so with detail, but without getting too wordy. For example:
  • “Play sports such as beach volleyball (the Olympic women’s teams are my heroes!) or rec softball (league champs 3 years in a row!)”
  • “Eat exotic foods — sushi has become a weekly staple so I’ve taken to experimenting with other foods… the weirder the better!”
  • “Volunteer: I’ve been a Big Bro/Sis with Jewish Family Services for 4 years now and it is so fulfilling!”
And of course the other staples which belong in the answer: “I enjoy spending time with family and friends.”

Q & A — My Life and Ambitions

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“My Life and Ambitions”

If “finding someone to share the rest of my life with” isn’t your first line and isn’t the first line of the prospect’s profile you’re viewing, then there’s a huge red flag! Sure, we all have other ambitions in life but this question is being asked on JDate to attract like-minded people, so it’s best to start with the line above or a variation of that line and then continue on to your other ambitions, such as:

-career (becoming a partner in a reputable law firm, starting my own company, surpassing a million dollars in sales next year)
-hobbies (running a marathon, traveling to new countries, learning how to knit)
-personal (spending more time with my Bubbe as she ages, etc).


Q & A — The Coolest Places I’ve Visited

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“The Coolest Places I’ve Visited”

No need to be redundant and repeat any places you’ve already mentioned in other sections (if you’re from Israel, don’t list Israel here but perhaps be more specific about a favorite beach or city). If you love to travel and said so in “About Me” then this would be where you prove that by listing a few cool places you’ve visited. If you’ve never been outside North America but have done some pretty cool things then list those (snowboarding in New Mexico, 4×4 through the Mojave Desert, airboating in the Florida swamplands). If you’ve been to random, unknown countries then list those but if you’ve only traveled to the more popular tourist sites (Italy, or Greece for instance) then again, be more specific about cities or experiences.


Q & A — The Things I Could Never Live Without

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive, cheesy, fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and enticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“The Things I Could Never Live Without”

Family and friends ought to be the first answer, then you can have fun with this question. It can be in list form with words separated by commas. Don’t take this question too seriously, unless of course you are a serious person and want to attract other like-minded people. Here are some cute ideas I’ve read and thought of:

-my iPhone (or whichever smart phone you have)

-a glass of Chianti/Bourbon/Local Draft

-sunshine/my snowboard

-a tempur pedic pillow/bubble baths

-ESPN/The Daily Show 


Q & A — A Brief History of My Life

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive or cheesy or fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and inticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“A Brief History of My Life”

“Brief” is the key word here. There are so many other places throughout JDate’s profile which asks about you, so don’t be repetitive. Here are some examples where you can fill in the blank:

-I grew up in __________ with my parent(s) and ## siblings. Graduated from _________ and now live in ___________ where I love my job as a ________________.

-I moved around a lot growing up, living in _____________ , _______________ and _____________ and although my family is now living in _________________ I decided to move  for college to ________________ and have stayed in __________________ ever since.

-I was raised ___________________ (stream of Judaism) and now am _________________ although I still love celebrating the holidays with the traditions set by my parents. I grew up in ___________________ and moved around in my 20s but moved back and have loved exploring the city again as an adult!

Take those type of examples, where you you grew up, how Jewish you are, type of family you have, where you went to school and how you ended up in your current city. Maybe add how you got into your profession. Easy breezy.


Q&A — My Past Relationships

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

How do you answer JDate’s questions without sounding repetitive or cheesy or fake or boring? Let me help you craft personal and inticing answers to both the basic and intimate questions.

“My Past Relationships”

There’s no need to discuss why you were just dumped or why you broke up with your last significant other. Don’t get into the details here of what went wrong, rather talk about what you learned from the demise. This section’s answer shouldn’t be too lengthy, if you find that you’re writing a novel then take that to a journal and leave just the life lessons in your response.

Some examples to use:

I learned what kind of boy/girlfriend I want to be and what kind of girl/boyfriend I need and want

I learned not to sweat the small stuff

I learned that I need affection and that I need someone who enjoys affection in return

I learned how to communicate more effectively

I learned that it’s boring to always agree, but that we need to disagree in a healthy way

I learned not to let things fester but to calmly address issues as they arise

I learned that mutual respect is just as important as mutual attraction


Playing Hard to Get on a JDate

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

You give off so much information in your JDate profile that by the time you exchange a few emails, have a phone call and make plans for the first date, you already may get the feeling that you know your prospect much better than you actually do. So when the first date rolls around you end up sharing much more than you normally would because there is an automatic comfort level with knowing how old someone is, what general field they are in, where they’re from, what they’re looking for, and so on. And if you’ve done any cyber-stalking — admit it, you at least tried! — then you may know even more.

After the date ends, whether good or bad, you’re left feeling like you may have overshared. It’s easy to overshare on a first date, especially when it’s going well. Try, try, try to reign it in, you’ll be happy you did if the date sucked and you’ll be happy you did if the date went well. Even when a first date lasts for hours upon hours until you end up watching the sunrise together because you can’t stop talking, there are many tidbits of information NOT to share. This is not about playing a game as the title of this post alludes to, but rather playing hard to get by keeping everything in perspective.

Yes you know a lot of information from someone’s JDate profile, but you don’t know them. Your JDates are still strangers, treat them as such until you know there is even somewhat of an inkling of a future. Your relationship past is not fodder for a first date, neither is your family drama or your finances. Keep the first date chatting to expanding upon some of the questions asked in your profiles: where did you grow up and how did you get to (or get back to) your current town? where did you go to college, what did you study and why? what do you do for a living and is this your passion or what do you really want to do with your life? Allow those questions to lead to further conversation, but without getting too deep too quickly.