Get a piece of paper. Write down all of the questions you really want to ask your dates – with the hopes that they answer them truthfully – in order to know if they are right for you. Write down the questions that you’re usually afraid to ask because you don’t want to scare the person away. You know, the “how many kids do you want and how soon do you want to start?” and the “if you think I’m the right person how quickly would you want to get married?” Those are super scary questions to ask, right? But you want to know the answers, right? So think back to all the dates you have been on – both the awesome ones and the sucky ones – and think of the questions you really wanted to ask. Write them down. If you have more than five then narrow them down to no more than five. Then prioritize them. If you got the chance to ask one question without consequence what is the answer you most want to hear? These are the answers you need to find out in some way, shape or form. It means you probably won’t be asking the question straight out and it’s not best to pry on the first date, but if you get to a second date then try and figure out what this person’s thoughts are on the topics of importance to you so that you know before getting any deeper that you are on the same page. If a guy doesn’t want kids for another 5 years or a girl wants to get married tomorrow then you may need to cut the date short before you get in any further.
New relationships start off hot ‘n’ heavy… and then real life sets in. Stress, school, work, family, friends, sleep and so on get in the way of heavy petting. People who spend a lot of time together and are emotionally involved tend to argue and as much as people like to say that the best part of “breaking up” is the making up, most couples try to avoid breaking up as a means to getting busy in the sack. Still, your love life is going to stabilize whether you like it or not. Life is not the movies where people have sex and then roll over and go to sleep each night. Nor do people wake up and have sex every morning before even brushing their teeth! You will go to bed at different times, wake up at different times, and be in the mood at different times. You will go from getting down n dirty on a regular basis to finding yourselves going a week… or two… or more before you even realize you haven’t done the deed. Not to fret. This is normal. This does not necessarily mean it’s time to break up. You just need to give your relationship some much needed attention. You may have lost that lovin’ feeling, but you can find it. It’s not gone, it’s just waiting to be rediscovered.