Keep it to Reap it

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Every single time I would meet someone I would tell everyone about it. I would talk about how happy I was, how amazing the new guy was, what we were doing, when and where we were going on dates, how much we had in common, the future I imagined us sharing and so on and so forth. The simple fact is that I was excited and hoped time and again that this was the one. Of course, until recently, it never was. And each time there was a break-up I was left having to answer questions and inquiries about the relationship from people who only had good intentions but didn’t know any better.

Another perk to keeping a new love interest to yourself is to keep out the naysayers. Friends of yours who are single and saw the same person on JDate or at a singles event may be jealous. These so-called friends may show support to your face, but they may not be sending as positive of vibes behind your back. When you’re single and putting yourself out there, you don’t need anything to get in your way, and that includes any negativity put out into the universe with your name on it. Until it gets serious, keep it to yourself. It will be more special and more authentic that way.

Guys seem to understand this better than women. Most women like to immediately introduce their newest flame to all their friends, whether to show him off or to see how he meshes with your friends or for a plethora of other reasons. Guys, on the other hand, wait as long as humanly possible before introducing a new girl to their friends. Whether they’re worried about the girl seeing them in their element or not wanting to risk their friends outing them as a player or for whatever the reason, guys tend to wait and it would behoove more women to do the same. Keep it to yourself for as long as possible and you will reap the rewards. And if it doesn’t pan out, there will be fewer people to (unintentionally, of course) rub it in your face and remind you of yet another failed relationship on the road to finding your Beshert.

No Bling Baby

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

I recently heard from a friend that she saw a guy on JDate who she knows is married. Shocking to hear, but it’s reality. There are married people dating online and there’s no one to stop them. There’s no such thing as the morality police and it’s a shame that singles have to worry about whether someone’s being honest about their status. But singles can do their job to make sure they don’t get caught up in someone else’s drama. I’m not a supporter of internet stalking someone too soon, but if you are for any reason suspicious of their marital status, then Google them. See if you have friends in common. Ask questions about their relationship history and kids, if they have any. Finally, when you meet, look for a tanline on their left ring finger. Anyone who’s been married knows that it only takes a few months to get a tanline under your wedding ring. And if you do catch a cheater, let them know that their shenanigans are not welcome here.