Ex Success

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships,Single Life

Don’t you hate it when your ex gets married, gets a promotion, or just plain looks goooooood? It makes your blood boil, right? Especially when you’re in the exact same place as you were when you broke up. This is not a reflection of you, so try not to take it personally or beat yourself up over it. Maybe this is the kick in the tush you need to finally go after that hottie or that job or that haircut. It freaking sucks in the meantime, but use it for good, not evil. Even if you’ve moved on, it still might burn. But if you’re single, and your ex always pops up on JDate and then you hear he or she has moved on and suddenly their profile POOF! disappears, it’s gonna sting. Wallow in your self pity for bit, and then paste a smile on your face and carry on. Letting your ex’s success get the best of you will only make your desire to meet your Beshert seem like retaliation rather than authentic.


Revenge

by JeremySpoke under JDate

I IMed a girl a few weeks ago here on JDate. Everything seemed to be going swell. I managed to elongate the conversation to almost ten minutes. I somehow made her express internet laughter via LOL and internet listened to what she had to say. After a little longer she left, giving no reason. The next day, I emailed her apologizing for anything I could have said that might have offended her. She responded that she just didn’t think we were a good match. I took the loss in stride and chalked it up to irreconcilable¬†differences.

A few nights ago I decided to completely replace all of my profile pictures because I am in the process of losing weight and had lost over fifty pounds. The next day, I decided to contact her again to see if she would notice my weight loss. I IMed her, and she wrote back. Clearly, she did not realize that she was talking to the same person. Unlike the first conversation when I was fat(ter), she seemed completely engaged in what I had to say, and the conversation lasted over ten minutes. I felt successful at my transformation but equally concerned about the superficiality of humanity. Is it superficial to be more interested in thinner people? I guess it’s not really shallow, it’s just human nature. Still, I felt weird.

In a moment of pure inspiration, I decided to gain all of my weight back in the time span of two days. After gaining it all back, I IMed her again, and told her that I murdered the other guy. That was worth it.

*I obviously haven’t really gained any weight back nor told someone that I murdered somebody.

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