I Just Messaged To Say Hello

by RollingStone9862 under JDate,Online Dating,Relationships

I think the unwritten rule that once you leave college you can’t make a new friend of the opposite sex is complete bollix. I understand that, as a single male, I am much more apt to view every woman I meet in terms of her romantic potential but I am very sick of viewing woman, and our interactions, this way. Case in point, as I’ve mentioned numerous times in past blogs, I haven’t gone out on what I would consider to be a bad date in over a year. That being said, however, I haven’t been interested in going out on many second dates, which has left me in a bit of conundrum.

You see, I’ve gone out on a bunch of dates with women that I didn’t feel a romantic attraction or connection with, though I would have loved to continue hanging out with them as friends. I know that this would be a much more reasonable request if I hadn’t met the women in question on a dating site, since then we wouldn’t have met under the sole pretense of seeing if we were romantically compatible. Yet, I still wish there was some wiggle room within this construct that would allow us the opportunity to become friends.

Recently I was on JDate scanning the list of women who were online and I noticed a woman that I had dated last year for about two months was logged on. Our relationship ended amicably with both of us agreeing that our schedules were too conflicting and that we just couldn’t make things work. However, I’ve always felt that, had we met under different circumstances, without the burden of expectations which dating someone brings, we could have become really good friends. Of course, when we decided to stop dating we both wished each other well. Still, I am someone who believes you can never have too many good people in your life, which is why I was tempted when I saw her online recently to say hello and ask how she was doing.

Of course I know that this is a big online dating no-no since, once you cease dating someone you’ve met online, you are supposed to cut ties and go back to the proverbial dating grind. Yet, I don’t like underlying reality to online dating. Having that been said I don’t know how I plan on changing it since I might be leading the way in this revolution without anyone marching behind me. I did want to get these feelings off of my chest. In the end there are many aspects of online dating that I enjoy and am thankful that it is a resource for meeting people which is available to me. Ultimately I know you can’t always have things just the way you want them when it comes to dealing with the uncertainty and unpredictability of dating. On this one subject, however, I do wish things were different even if I’m being way too idealistic in my outlook.


I Want Someone To Waste My Time With

by RollingStone9862 under Relationships,Single Life

I think one of the most underrated elements of a romantic relationship is not necessarily whether the two people have a lot in common or get along very well but, rather, is the other person someone you enjoy doing nothing with; do you want to waste your time with them? Does their sheer presence, without uttering a word or glancing in your direction, make you feel better or warm inside?

When meeting new people and potentially entering into new relationships, one of the first things I think about is whether this is a person who I connect with, and enjoy being with so much that we don’t need to be doing anything in order to have a good time. Fancy dinners or evenings out can be fun with many different people; however, I believe that truly meaningful relationships are founded on whether or not you can have a great time together regardless of the setting or pretenses.

Walking in circles while holding hands, and simply talking for hours, can be fun dates. So can sitting down to watch television sitcom reruns and lying in bed for hours talking, even after you’ve both declared you’re tired, simply because you both don’t want to wrap up the conversation. It’s like every time you are together you don’t want the moment to end because you know when you leave each other those same things won’t be as fun.

Deep down I hope to find someone who I want to waste my time with because when I’m with them the time isn’t really wasted, at all.