Second Date Series: Picking the Appropriate Place

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

Second dates are still not the right time for going to see a movie, live theatre, comedy show, or concert. You should pick another location where you can get comfortable and have a conversation. Find a locale that is both unique (to show you made a bit of an effort to choose something because you’re excited about the date) and informal — because you want to create a relaxed atmosphere to begin getting to know each other better.

It doesn’t have to be super expensive, but it shouldn’t be such a loud place that you can’t hear each other. And ideally this date occurs within a week from of the first date!

 

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Second Date Tips: Seasoned Greetings

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Single Life

I don’t know about you, but I easily went on 100 first dates and only a handful of second dates. That meant that I was excited and nervous prior to a second date, because they happened so seldom! As I approached my date, I wondered… what is the appropriate greeting here? Just smile? Hug? Kiss? Luckily, there is a pretty simple answer.

As you walk up to your date you should do whatever it is you did to end your first date, plus a little extra. What does that mean?

  • If you left by standing and smiling and waving, then keep that smile going but add in a little hug
  • If you left with a hug, then hug again but add a kiss on the cheek or hug a bit longer and include a squeeze
  • If you left with a kiss, then kiss again and allow the kiss to linger just a bit longer
  • If you left with MORE than a kiss, then definitely kiss again to start this date

You both know that it wasn’t easy getting to a second date with someone — you liked the first date, you’re interested in learning more, and there’s attraction — so you want the other person to know that you’re excited without coming on too strong. You also still don’t really know this person and are understandably anxious for it to go well, by being prepared with how you’re going to greet each other then you will be able to get past the first hurdle quickly and move on the date with ease.

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Second Date Tips: Series Starter

by Tamar Caspi under Date Night,JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

I’m pretty sure I covered every aspect of a first date with my First Date Tips series (click on these links if you need to catch up: Go Together or Meet There, Patterns, Confirming Plans, Don’t Talk About That, Ease On In, Conversation Starters, Paying the Bill, Saying Goodbye, Post Date Follow-Up, Don’t Analyze Everything, No Expectations). But… what about the second date? Just because you chose to see each other again doesn’t mean you’re not nervous!

Second dates (and third and fourth dates) should be treated a lot like first dates in regards to having some level of formality… and with a certain amount of hesitancy. You still don’t know this person very well, you still shouldn’t be texting, and you still shouldn’t be engaging in any other social media (no Facebook friending yet!). You should still be making the effort to plan dates, and putting extra effort into getting ready, and be practicing the same conversational tips as your first date.

I’ll be going more into detail about what this all means in the coming weeks!

 

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Questions

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Get a piece of paper. Write down all of the questions you really want to ask your dates – with the hopes that they answer them truthfully – in order to know if they are right for you. Write down the questions that you’re usually afraid to ask because you don’t want to scare the person away. You know, the “how many kids do you want and how soon do you want to start?” and the “if you think I’m the right person how quickly would you want to get married?” Those are super scary questions to ask, right? But you want to know the answers, right? So think back to all the dates you have been on – both the awesome ones and the sucky ones – and think of the questions you really wanted to ask. Write them down. If you have more than five then narrow them down to no more than five. Then prioritize them. If you got the chance to ask one question without consequence what is the answer you most want to hear? These are the answers you need to find out in some way, shape or form. It means you probably won’t be asking the question straight out and it’s not best to pry on the first date, but if you get to a second date then try and figure out what this person’s thoughts are on the topics of importance to you so that you know before getting any deeper that you are on the same page. If a guy doesn’t want kids for another 5 years or a girl wants to get married tomorrow then you may need to cut the date short before you get in any further.