The start of a week with what is most likely amazing weather outside your office window while you’re stuck inside until late afternoon each day is enough to put a damper on anyone’s mood. Try to change the odds in your favor by booking at least one date this week. By having something to look forward to, you will perk up and while the week may feel like it’s draggin at first it will seem to have flown by in retrospect. While you’re at it, book a second date. One during the week and one on the weekend. How?, you ask? Use the Secret Admirer feature to let prospects know you’re interested and Favorite them and send them a Flirt. Men who see these clear hints a woman is interested should write an email. Women who notice a man repeatedly viewing her profile can also send an email. JDate works best when you’re actively using the tools they provide so stop browsing and start clicking!

If just one other person in the world can identify with me on this very specific problem, I would feel a lot better about most aspects of my life. When I get an email titled ‘One of these JDaters® is your Secret Admirer!’, I immediately shift into desperation mode. I have to know who my secret admirer is, at all costs. If you don’t know how this process works, every once in a while, JDate will send you an email with like five JDate profiles attached to it. You are told that one of these five people has a crush on you. In order to know who it is, you have to say that you have a crush on the same one that likes you. Of course, most people would probably go ahead and pick the one or two women on this list they are interested in. I blitz the email by ‘secret admiring’ (not at all a verb) all five women listed, regardless of whether I like them or not. I have to find out who likes me. Somebody likes me? I must know who. Now.

I then sit and wait for the email telling me which woman it is that likes me. I stop whatever I was previously doing (crying, not returning phone calls) and sit perfectly still facing the wall. I turn off the television and stare at my smart phone, praying that I don’t momentarily lose Wi-Fi just in case that is the exact moment I find out what women is in love with me. Damn you modern technology. Do not deny me true love. Once I do get the email, it is always the woman whom I am the least interested in. Well that is a disappointment that I was completely prepared and ready for. Now I can go to bed, safe in the knowledge that I will die alone.

Dear Tamar,

I’ve belonged to JDate for many years, but the format has definitely changed.  I am 75 and want to see men 75-79.  HOW DO I GO ABOUT THIS???

Dear New Profile Format Help!,

It always takes me time to get used to new formats. It took me months to stop noticing and getting annoyed by the new Facebook and Twitter formats so I’m sure it’s frustrating when your favorite dating website changes things on you. But don’t fret, I’m here to help! First, take some time to explore the new site. Play with different levers: change your preferences, fill out the Color Code personality quiz, use the Click!® and Flirt features, send messages, play Secret Admirer or answer the fun trivia questions and so on. You have a realistic age range, so then be flexible and tinker with the other categories. Most importantly, be patient while you adjust to the new format.