The Security of Settling

by JeremySpoke under Relationships

Dating is hard.  It could take years of dating (or doing nothing) before finding somebody that you would be willing to spend more than just a dinner with.  It may have been a long time since you shared a lunch with somebody of the opposite sex.  People go through many dinners in order to achieve one lunch.  After a certain point, some people reach a boiling point.  They’re sick of dates that always amount to nothing.  The body can only sustain so many accelerated heart beats due to an upcoming date before it starts to shut down.

In order to prevent full-body shutdown, people often put an end to their misery by settling.  That is, they pick from the pool of people they barely like and keep one for a more permanent relationship.  This relationship is doomed from the start.  Aside from this, they are using somebody for a temporary fix in their life.  They are not attracted to this person in any meaningful way.  They know that they will break up with this person as soon as they find someone better.  The other person is usually not aware of this, though.  This can only lead to disaster.  After you break-up with this person, he/she will often be heartbroken.  He/shewill temporarily lose faith in the concept of the couple, and will turn to a friend for a one-way platonic relationship.

I am only talking about this because I am often the go-to platonic friend, and I am growing tired.  If you are dating somebody just because you don’t want to be single, you are not doing yourself or your other half a favor.  Though I am far from being a dating expert, I can usually tell when someone is miserable.  You’re using somebody as a crutch, and you will get rid of them as soon as your leg is fixed, crushing them in the process.  You are not attracted (physically or non-physically) to this person.  Start dating somebody you actually like because I can’t take another platonic girlfriend.