Being Brave Enough to Bail

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

My friend Greg and his girlfriend moved in together about two months ago… and this past weekend, she moved out. It turns out they cannot co-habitate. It took a lot of bravery on both their parts to admit that it wasn’t working out, and wasn’t going to.

After couples have been dating for a while and are either engaged or living together (or both) they tend to let their ego get the best of them and sweep their problems under the rug, rather than face them and possibly end up on the dating scene again. But ending a bad relationship takes courage. Admitting that you are unhappy, or that the relationship is just not right, takes courage. Starting over after thinking that you had met “The One” takes courage.

Better to break off an engagement, or change your living situation, then to end up married and unhappy and possibly getting a divorce. Don’t worry about what people will think, in fact, they will likely admire you for being brave enough to recognize when something wasn’t right and changing your path.


Obligatory Loyalty

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

A few months into dating someone and you’ve had “The Talk,” have possibly met each other’s families, have celebrated a holiday together, and are casually discussing the future… when something happens. Something, usually tragic, that binds you two together as a couple. Whether you like it or not.

It could be a sickness in the family, or even with one of you (G-D forbid). It could be the death of a close friend, or a dear pet. It could be a debilitating injury that causes your partner to need to care for you as you recover, or anything else life-changing that brings you closer together. However, it can also make you feel obligated to stay together when things were possibly not headed for an absolute future.

It depends on the occurrence, but there shouldn’t be anything that would make you want to stay with someone you don’t want to be with just because you survived a terrible time in one of your lives together. You will always think fondly of the person you went through that experience with, but it doesn’t mean you have to be together forever.