There are those times when you venture out into the world and expect to meet someone. You have your girls, you’re ready to meet that guy and wearing stilettos that will get the job done. Then there are those times where you go to lunch with your grandmother and end up leaving with a date. Apparently a hot lunch was the special that day. I walked in for a much needed break from the sale seeking scavengers at my all time fave department store, and before I could even make it to the hostess I was being seated by a hot server – in his section (which I’m sure he had nothing to do with). Long story short, my sexy server and I didn’t waste any time – and I didn’t hesitate to order that day’s special right off the menu. So I guess the moral in this hopefully happily ever after is (which btw is hopefully not a TBC kind of saga) is that dates are hiding where you least expect them. And even when you think they’ve been taken off the menu for good, nine times out of ten the chefs in sunny So Cal are still happy to oblige. Besides, ordering what everyone in America has privy to is so completely last year. So make sure to be so 3008, instead of two-thousand and late, and you’ll score a McHottie over milkshakes post-haste. And in this horrendous heat – keeping cool has never sounded so hot.
Now as any chic chicklet living in super sunny So Cal can verify, horrifyingly bad pick-up lines appear in daily conversation as much as Ryan Seacrest produces bad reality shows. It’s bad enough that all of L.A. has turned into one giant construction site where fluency in catcalling is considered a legit qualification for the bilingual label, but what do you do when these boys try to take their sad attempts to holler for a dollar on screen (and I don’t mean in a Romantic Comedy)? I’m talking about all those gents lacking in certifiable cyber savoir-fair, and more specifically the wondrous webcam question. The question of, “Do you have a webcam?” is neither a sweet nor innocent request. Though I totally understand and am all for a little pictorial preview of your soon-to-be babe, the brash inquiry is more capable of inducing a sickening feeling than it is of initiating a couple of notoriously well-known and craved butterflies. The window shopping has simply got to stop, or be taken elsewhere if you’re looking to hit it and quit it. The naivete is quite frankly so last year and ladies have learned not to sneak a peek because their online boytoy will be “hear” today, gone tomorrow in a matter of IM exchanges. Simply stated, if you’re looking for a pretty low maintenance peep show, I advise you to escort your shenanigans anywhere other than our beloved web of the world. Or at least come up with some more enticing opening liners than a webcam question mark. Because darling, the only answer you’ll be getting is from some chickenhead who, let’s face it, would go for anything with a pecker. Class always beats ass, and integrity, like my fave color, goes with anything.
The dating scene in uber sunny So Cal is great for a million different reasons, namely the variety of options it offers its chic inhabitants when it comes to courting. This week, I suggest taking a break from those haute Hollywood nights and heading over the canyon and straight to the beach! Just because this swine flu sitch has utterly cramped my would-be sun-soaked Cancun extravaganza, does not mean it will keep me from enjoying a little fun in the sun. Come hell or high water, I am getting a tan this summer and I am trading in my porcelain persona for a not exactly redder is better type deal, thanks to industrial strength SPF. One of my fave parts about California is our thousands of hideaway beaches begging locals only to come and bask in the often too strong but oh-so-tempting UVA. Just make sure you and your date, or friends, stock up on the post excursion aloe, because getting high on sun stroke is a less then likely way to score a second date with your little beach bunny. See you at…well, I’m not giving away my favorite place to frequent, so find your own! I do promise a beachy-keen time, where the people watching alone is incentive enough- of course, that holds true for almost every Los Angeles locale.