There’s nothing worse than someone who gets drunk on a 1st JDate. There you are: you’ve both taken the time to make a profile, sought each other out, connected, made plans, met up, and now your date is plastered. It doesn’t matter if the date was going great or was a bust, it’s just awkward and bad manners. There’s a reason why The Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger has a 2 drink maximum rule as part of her 10 Dating Commandments — people lose clarity, let their inhibitions down and start to act a fool. You do things and say things you wouldn’t normally do or say and are probably going to end being quite embarrassed once you sober up. Another dating expert named Rich Santos says the same thing: “Alcohol should be introduced into the relationship slowly.” A drink or two allows you to relax and acts as a social lubricant. You can have a glass of wine or champagne for romantic effect, but leave the body shots and and puking for a different night.
As Jews, we’re given a sip of wine every Shabbat dinner and many studies have shown that being allowed that sip keeps us from becoming crazy drinkers. Well, that study goes out the window when dating comes into play. Now, I’m not condoning drinking, but when you’re actively JDating, you’re suddenly going out every other night to bars, dinner or dancing. It’s not a coincidence that the venues most dates take place at are the same venues that serve alcohol.
Drinking while you’re on a JDate is a very sensitive subject because there’s a fine line between being buzzed and being wasted… and wasted is not something you want to be while on a JDate. Whether it’s your first or 101st date, getting drunk very seldom turns out for the best. It’s always nice to have one, maybe two drinks to take the edge off, relax and let the conversation flow. It’s never nice to vomit uncontrollably because you don’t know how to hold your liquor.
As chivalrous as it may seem, a man having to hold your hair back as you puke is not a turn-on for him. And a woman having to jump out of the way when the man passed out on her shoulder decides to get sick is even more disgusting. If I have to get my clothes dry-cleaned after a date because of vomit, I’m probably not going to be in a hurry to answer your next phone call. And if you get so wasted on a date that you don’t remember how you ended up back at home and in bed, don’t be shocked when the guy never calls you again.
There’s probably a rule of thumb we should all stick to when on a JDate. A slight buzz is all that’s really necessary. If you need more in order to endure the date, you should probably call it a night. Don’t risk losing face, or your stomach, just for the sake of trying to make the date as bearable as possible. You don’t want to make the mistake of drinking too much because you don’t like your date and then lowering your inhibitions. Even if you like your date, don’t drink too much so as to cloud your judgement. If you must have a drink to let your guard down, one or two drinks max are all you really need… or better yet, stick to the Manischewitz.