under Online Dating
Before you know it, it’ll be summer rerun season again. But when it comes to first dates, I always feel like it’s rerun season.
That’s because it’s all too tempting to reuse at least some of the same interesting anecdotes you hoped were interesting on the last first date you used them on. It must be how an author feels on a book tour, doing his best to inject freshness in a story he’s relayed countless times before. Or Broadway performers. They have to repeat the same words at least eight times a week! Like Speed Dating stretched out.
Those dolls that speak when you pull the ring? First daters need rings. Pull. “No brothers. Just a twin sister. We stopped wearing the same outfits last week.” Pull. “I’ve been to Paris twice, for free. Thanks to a game show, and a talk show I worked on.” Pull. “I once arranged a bogus meeting with Lorne Michaels at Saturday Night Live.”
Don’t forget to tip your waitress. I’ll be here all week.
Have you ever told a story on a date you thought was funny/interesting/unique/heartfelt/etc only to never hear from your date again? Yeah, don’t tell that story on 1st dates anymore. Live and learn. You know which stories I’m talking about, the one about your parents eating so many carrots that their palms turned orange (real line I heard from a guy), or the one about your family of sleep walkers who’ve all gone to the bathroom in rooms where there isn’t even a toilet (a friend who will remain unnamed), or the one about that date you went on where the guy had a long thick hair growing out of the tip of his nose (a date I went on). None of these stories need to be told on early dates. Don’t tell stories about how your family is odd just yet, don’t talk about dates you’ve been on and don’t talk about anything having to do with the bathroom. Talk about you. The best you. Leave the embarrassing stories for later… there will be plenty of time, believe me!
under Date Night
I have gone out on a lot of first dates with women whom I have met online during the past 6-months and it was during my most recent date that it occurred to me: I tell certain stories, and facts about myself, that I almost always divulge during the course of a date. Whenever I’m on a date where we go out to eat I always mention before we order that 1. I like to share food, and 2. The story of how I became a College Basketball Coach (which is completely fine-tuned). I also tend to break out the same stories when asked about my family, college, close friends or job. While I don’t try to necessarily steer the conversation toward these topics the way a politician might try to control the course of an interview so that it best fits the prepared answers they are most confident with, many first dates involve similar questions and topics of conversation.
Personally I think that there’s anything wrong with retelling many of the same stories, or sharing the same personal information on each first date, since everyone is going to react with differently. Furthermore, how a date will react upon learning these things about me isn’t always the same, and therefore the conversation might take any number of turns at that point, including them asking me more questions on the subject, sharing their own similar stories or changing the topic of conversation all together.
Some might view this approach with skepticism and believe that my general demeanor on first dates is apathetic or even condescending, but I would respond by saying that first dates are introductions and there are only so many things you are going to say during that first meeting. For me it is important that I always feel comfortable during a first date, and will often go with the natural flow of conversation. Of course, having this approach means that I tell many of the same stories and facts about myself since I know going into the date that I’m comfortable saying those things to pretty much anyone. From there, how much more in depth I talk about my life depends on how the date is going and whether or not during the course of our interaction I feel comfortable enough to let more stories and facts about me naturally flow out.