Dear Ben C.,

If the rumors are true and you are, in fact, back on JDate after your dismissal by Ashley on this past season’s The Bachelorette… then WELCOME BACK! We’re happy to have you here. I don’t particularly like that you said you were going “to clean up” once you got back on JDate, but it’s probably true. Besides being a handsome lawyer, you maintained your dignity on a show known for making jerks out of lesser men (see: William). That said, you’re going to have a tough time navigating the eligible women, so I’m proposing to be your Chris Harrison. We’ll create a virtual Jewish Bachelor with you as the prize. (And when JP is single again, he’s welcome to join in on the fun.) Seriously, no joke, shoot me an email and let’s make you a JDate Success Story!

Sincerely,

Tamar

Online dating works. It really does. Every site loves to advertise the success rate its “clients” have, not only meeting people and going out on dates, but also how many of them end up getting married. Of course I knew these testimonials I was seeing on television and reading online weren’t fabricated. Yet, they really didn’t hit home with me until someone close to me met a woman on JDate he eventually married.

Many of my friends have used online dating as a tool to meet people for far longer then I have. But this was the first time that I knew well got married to a person they had met online. To be honest this struck me in a slightly different way than when my friends have married their college sweethearts or gotten married to people they met at work or through friends. I don’t mean to imply that that difference is negative, but rather just that it’s new.

Over the past several years online dating has become mainstream and forever influenced and changed the way that people meet, interact and date, which is something many of us are currently benefiting from. In the end I don’t know if I will find my future wife on JDate, through a friend or at a coffee shop. But I do find it comforting to actually know someone who is a true online dating success story.

This weekend I saw my cousin and her husband who met on JDate. They got engaged after a relatively brief courtship. “I know this sounds bad but we were both ready for all this and knew it,” Jeff said, gesturing toward his daughters, “and it happened pretty fast for both of us.” It’s not exactly like a fairy tale, but there’s no shame in sharing a mutual vision and turning it into reality via a clear and honest statement. He went on to say that, “after a certain amount of experience you can weed out what you want and don’t want.” He should know. While living in Lubbock, TX, he would feign previously scheduled travel plans and arrange JDates with girls in Dallas, a 45-minute flight. Hopefully he got some frequent flier miles out of all that travel because despite the haul, none of the girls worked out. After moving to Chicago he met my cousin, and “that was that.” Now there are two JBabies, ages three and five who can thank JDate for their existences. I imagine there are many babies out there who can do likewise. L’Chaim.

As I mentioned previously, one of the best parts of my job as Founder of JewishWeddingNetwork.com is hearing all about how people meet.  This next story is by far the best JDate success story that I’ve heard.

Artist Maya Escobar was a senior at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, when she attended a performance art class in which she discussed how differently she was perceived by Latino men, as compared to Jewish men. Jewish men thought she was exotic and labeled her a Latin sex symbol, while Latino men would be impressed with her accomplishments and goals.  Her professor suggested that as part of her studies, Maya set up profiles on a Latin dating site and a Jewish dating site, and document the process.

Maya joined JDate as part of a performance art piece, but that only lasted until she received an email from a guy named Loren. Loren had his profile up on JDate for two years, but didn’t pay for an active membership until he saw Maya’s profile.  Ironically, Maya had seen Loren’s profile a year before when she was just perusing the site, and thought to herself that if she were to meet someone on JDate, he’s the guy she’d want to meet.  Maya was attracted to Loren on many levels – he’s a musician and an artist like herself and it turned out that Loren had been head of UIC’s Hillel, where Maya’s brother went to school. The couple went on to graduate school together at Washington University in St. Louis, where Maya got her MFA and Loren is getting his law degree.

Loren and Maya, Photo Credit: Marv Chait

Yes, Maya broke the code of her project, but in a sense she didn’t.  Maya’s soul mate turned out to be the one guy who didn’t treat her in a stereotypical manner.  

Maya and Loren recently wed in a ceremony that incorporated both the Jewish traditions and the Guatemalan traditions of Maya’s heritage.  You can read more about Maya and Loren’s wedding story at JewishWeddingNetwork.com.

One of the best parts of my job as founder of Jewish Wedding Network is finding out how couples meet. I never tire of hearing the stories! I know a lot of people meet on JDate, but I don’t think I really realized how many couples meet on JDate until I launched a Jewish wedding planning website.

Mara and Adam are one such couple, but their online meeting was anything but ordinary. In 2003, Mara was just out of college and decided to dabble in JDating. She signed up for a subscription, but two months later let it lapse –and that’s when she received an important email from another JDater. When she looked at the sender’s profile, she thought he looked familiar. The subject line of his message? “You look familiar.” As it turns out they went to the same college, at the same time, were amongst only a handful of Jewish students, and had loads of friends in common, but had never actually met! Doesn’t fate work in mysterious ways?

Adam and Mara

Mara and Adam are an official JDate Success Story and are now planning their November 2009 wedding. You can follow Mara as she blogs about her wedding planning journey at JewishWeddingNetwork.com

My friend Polina and I go way back–all the way back to the 10th grade. When you’ve known someone this long, you’ve really experienced life’s ups and downs together. And in our case, we’ve been there for one another through the ups and downs of dating.

Polina and Sara at their 15 Year High School Reunion

Last year, Polina called to tell me the great news – that her little sister was engaged. At the time Polina was single. I had a funny premonition and told Polina that I bet she’d be engaged by the time her sister’s wedding rolled around. She laughed at the mere thought of it.

Just a few months ago, I had the satisfaction of saying “I told you so.”

Soon after our conversation, Polina met Jake on JDate. From the moment she mentioned him to me, I had a really good feeling. They are both Russian and come from the same cultural background, and neither one of them had seriously dated other Russians. Also, she loves outdoor activities. He loves outdoor activities too.  Um…did I mention I had a good feeling?

Jake and Polina

Fast forward eight months later and Polina and Jake are engaged. Their wedding is planned for September 2009 – three weeks after Polina’s sister’s wedding. Of course, her parents couldn’t be more thrilled with having a b’nai mitzvah – two daughter’s getting married within a month! As I predicted – Polina will be bringing her fiancé to her sister’s wedding.

Follow Polina’s story on Jewish Wedding Network as she plans her September wedding to Jake.