While you’re perusing JDate looking at prospects and eliminating one after another as you look for “better” matches for yourself, keep your friends in mind. Some of the qualities and traits you are overlooking as you focus on other aspects might be perfect for the other singles in your life. Did you see a really hot prospect who is educated and working in an exciting field and likes a lot of the same hobbies and wants the same things but is way too short for you? Then tell your shorter friends about him or her and send them the member name/number so that they can view them. If your friend isn’t on JDate, then this is a perfect reason to join! If they need more convincing then write the hot prospect and tell him or her that you have someone perfect to set them up with and create a match! And the best part is, it’s still a JDate Success Story!
You’re on JDate and see the profile of someone who is beyond perfect for you. Everything about the person is exactly what you’re looking for: the look, the sense of humor, the education and judaism level, the preferences for a mate. So you send every signal and even write an email but never hear back. The next time you look at the profile you notice the person hasn’t logged-in for more than 60 days and although the profile is still active, the person isn’t.
Your friend is in an amazing new relationship and then suddenly you see the person on JDate! WTF? You call your friend about to cause a dramatic end to what could be THE relationship just to find out the person hasn’t logged on since they entered into a monogamous relationship, more than 60 days ago, but you neglected to check last log-in.
Many people don’t remember or don’t know how to delete their profile, mainly because most of them are waiting to delete until they actually get married, or just simply never thought about it again once they found their JDate Success Story. Obviously those people will probably not be reading this post, but you are and you can make sure you look at the last log-in before jumping to any conclusions.
Dating my girlfriend is so much easier than dating single.
Okay, first I want to make a disclaimer that all of you will hate this post, outside of the fact that a lot of you hate my posts anyway, because I’m writing about my girlfriend. However, after being single almost my entire life, outside of a short stint at Jewish sleepaway camp and dating a few other horrible people, I no longer care.
Anyway, dating your girlfriend is so much more pleasant and bearable than going out with strangers. I am a JDate success story, and though it has often been frustrating, which was mostly the fault of my own personality, I stuck with it for a long time, and all of those people I had previously hated that told me to not give up I hate slightly less now. Roughly five years of rejection, incompatibility, and lethargy did pay off in a big way.
I first signed up for JDate roughly five years ago, when, probably like many of you, my mother offered to pay for my account. I was new to online dating and was amazed that I could browse many women in my area, and was equally amazed by how little I knew about dating/the human condition. I was pretty proactive at first, but after years, I slowed down. I got to the point where I would get about one message a month from a woman, and we would go out, and it was usually okay, but would never see each other again.
Now, I’m in a wonderful relationship, and dating somebody consistently is so much better. If you’re out there in the JDate world, and are starting to lose hope, the best advice I could offer would be to not give up. I completely understand slowing down. Perhaps maybe you should not browse JDate nightly. This could come off as desperate while also increasing desperation within yourself. I’ve said this before, but take a step back. However, stay somewhat active. Browse peoples’ profiles, but do it in a more thorough way. Read their entire profiles this time. Don’t just rush through reading it to feel better about yourself. Don’t just send out mass messages in a one-night frenzy that you know in the bottom of your heart will not result in anything. Look for things that may pique your interest, or at least things that the two of you may have in common. I know this sounds obvious, and this may partly be due to the fact that I’m writing this while sick, but the way you act on JDate should reflect the way you act in the real world. You wouldn’t just run up to every women in a bar, one after the other, and scream, ‘Hi! You’re hot!’, and if you would, I really want to meet you.
What do you do when you find out your JDate is JDating both you and your friend… and doing so knowingly? Well, you can be flattered for starters. You like your friend and you made the decision to be friends so therefore you must deduce that your common JDate has amazing taste! But how do you decide who should continue dating said JDate? By leaving it up to the JDate you are giving up all semblance of control over your heart and your friendship. He or she has continued dating you both, so maybe you should give him or her a taste of their own medicine by both of you dumping the loser! Except what if the JDate isn’t a loser and you both are awesome and you both are still interested? Well, you could both continue dating the same JDate, but don’t be surprised if you lose your friendship along the way. I endorse poly-dating, but not when it can hurt feelings. So take a step back and use one of the following measurements in order to fairly decide who will jump ship.
-who met first?
-who has gone on more dates?
-who has spent more time getting to know each other/who knows more about the prospect?
-who has gone further sexually?
-who has “that feeling”?
It shouldn’t take much more than these questions to figure out the answer. Save the friendship. It’s never worth it. And if that couple ends up becoming a JDate success story, then the sacrificial lamb better be honored in the wedding!
Dear Ben C.,
If the rumors are true and you are, in fact, back on JDate after your dismissal by Ashley on this past season’s The Bachelorette… then WELCOME BACK! We’re happy to have you here. I don’t particularly like that you said you were going “to clean up” once you got back on JDate, but it’s probably true. Besides being a handsome lawyer, you maintained your dignity on a show known for making jerks out of lesser men (see: William). That said, you’re going to have a tough time navigating the eligible women, so I’m proposing to be your Chris Harrison. We’ll create a virtual Jewish Bachelor with you as the prize. (And when JP is single again, he’s welcome to join in on the fun.) Seriously, no joke, shoot me an email and let’s make you a JDate Success Story!
Online dating works. It really does. Every site loves to advertise the success rate its “clients” have, not only meeting people and going out on dates, but also how many of them end up getting married. Of course I knew these testimonials I was seeing on television and reading online weren’t fabricated. Yet, they really didn’t hit home with me until someone close to me met a woman on JDate he eventually married.
Many of my friends have used online dating as a tool to meet people for far longer then I have. But this was the first time that I knew well got married to a person they had met online. To be honest this struck me in a slightly different way than when my friends have married their college sweethearts or gotten married to people they met at work or through friends. I don’t mean to imply that that difference is negative, but rather just that it’s new.
Over the past several years online dating has become mainstream and forever influenced and changed the way that people meet, interact and date, which is something many of us are currently benefiting from. In the end I don’t know if I will find my future wife on JDate, through a friend or at a coffee shop. But I do find it comforting to actually know someone who is a true online dating success story.
As I mentioned previously, one of the best parts of my job as Founder of JewishWeddingNetwork.com is hearing all about how people meet. This next story is by far the best JDate success story that I’ve heard.
Artist Maya Escobar was a senior at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, when she attended a performance art class in which she discussed how differently she was perceived by Latino men, as compared to Jewish men. Jewish men thought she was exotic and labeled her a Latin sex symbol, while Latino men would be impressed with her accomplishments and goals. Her professor suggested that as part of her studies, Maya set up profiles on a Latin dating site and a Jewish dating site, and document the process.
Maya joined JDate as part of a performance art piece, but that only lasted until she received an email from a guy named Loren. Loren had his profile up on JDate for two years, but didn’t pay for an active membership until he saw Maya’s profile. Ironically, Maya had seen Loren’s profile a year before when she was just perusing the site, and thought to herself that if she were to meet someone on JDate, he’s the guy she’d want to meet. Maya was attracted to Loren on many levels – he’s a musician and an artist like herself and it turned out that Loren had been head of UIC’s Hillel, where Maya’s brother went to school. The couple went on to graduate school together at Washington University in St. Louis, where Maya got her MFA and Loren is getting his law degree.
Yes, Maya broke the code of her project, but in a sense she didn’t. Maya’s soul mate turned out to be the one guy who didn’t treat her in a stereotypical manner.
Maya and Loren recently wed in a ceremony that incorporated both the Jewish traditions and the Guatemalan traditions of Maya’s heritage. You can read more about Maya and Loren’s wedding story at JewishWeddingNetwork.com.
One of the best parts of my job as founder of Jewish Wedding Network is finding out how couples meet. I never tire of hearing the stories! I know a lot of people meet on JDate, but I don’t think I really realized how many couples meet on JDate until I launched a Jewish wedding planning website.
Mara and Adam are one such couple, but their online meeting was anything but ordinary. In 2003, Mara was just out of college and decided to dabble in JDating. She signed up for a subscription, but two months later let it lapse –and that’s when she received an important email from another JDater. When she looked at the sender’s profile, she thought he looked familiar. The subject line of his message? “You look familiar.” As it turns out they went to the same college, at the same time, were amongst only a handful of Jewish students, and had loads of friends in common, but had never actually met! Doesn’t fate work in mysterious ways?
Mara and Adam are an official JDate Success Story and are now planning their November 2009 wedding. You can follow Mara as she blogs about her wedding planning journey at JewishWeddingNetwork.com
My friend Polina and I go way back–all the way back to the 10th grade. When you’ve known someone this long, you’ve really experienced life’s ups and downs together. And in our case, we’ve been there for one another through the ups and downs of dating.
Last year, Polina called to tell me the great news – that her little sister was engaged. At the time Polina was single. I had a funny premonition and told Polina that I bet she’d be engaged by the time her sister’s wedding rolled around. She laughed at the mere thought of it.
Just a few months ago, I had the satisfaction of saying “I told you so.”
Soon after our conversation, Polina met Jake on JDate. From the moment she mentioned him to me, I had a really good feeling. They are both Russian and come from the same cultural background, and neither one of them had seriously dated other Russians. Also, she loves outdoor activities. He loves outdoor activities too. Um…did I mention I had a good feeling?
Fast forward eight months later and Polina and Jake are engaged. Their wedding is planned for September 2009 – three weeks after Polina’s sister’s wedding. Of course, her parents couldn’t be more thrilled with having a b’nai mitzvah – two daughter’s getting married within a month! As I predicted – Polina will be bringing her fiancé to her sister’s wedding.
Follow Polina’s story on Jewish Wedding Network as she plans her September wedding to Jake.