Connecting Online

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I am 52 years old, was married for 22 years and now I am single. I would very much like to have a meaningful, passionate relationship. I just don’t know how to go about connecting with someone online. Whenever I find someone I’m attracted to I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to come off being too forward or too aggressive. I don’t enjoy playing games, I just want to be honest about how I feel. What would you advise me to do when I want to make a connection with someone online? How should I approach the individual? I want to be smart about it. Thanks!

Dear Connecting Online,

Thank you for your very eloquent letter. You could basically post a version of your letter as your “About Me” paragraph which would attract the right type of people. See my example:

I am 52 years, was married for 22 years and now I am single. I would very much like to have a meaningful, passionate relationship. I don’t enjoy playing games; I just want to be honest about how I feel. I don’t want to come off being too forward or too aggressive but I’m not sure how to go about connecting with someone online. (And then add more about yourself: your character traits, hobbies and what you’re looking for in a mate.)

The same goes for any email you send a potential date. Let them know that you are new to JDate and have a hard time ensuring that your real personality comes through online but that you think you would enjoy each other’s company because of x, y, and z reasons. Your email doesn’t have to be too long or too detailed. Keep it short and sweet and you won’t have the chance to come off too forward or too aggressive. Once you meet in person I believe you’ll be more comfortable so try to get off-line and in-person as soon as possible. Good Luck!


My Second JDate

by JeremySpoke under Date Night,JBloggers,JDate,Online Dating,Relationships,Single Life

After learning many (two) important lessons from my apocalyptic-soul-crushing-equivalent-of-a-first date, I assured myself that, by definition, the next date could not be any worse.  This time I would not blindingly dive into a pit of uncertainty.  I had to arm myself.

First, I decided to read information posted about people before deciding to meet them in person.  Last time, my criteria for a date consisted of the other party being a girl.  This time, maybe, I would check to see if we had some, or any, shared interests. The first girl’s profile I looked at said that she liked food.  I like food, too!  Bingo!  Let’s look at more things!  We both like attending events!  This is unreal.  Her “About Me” section was pleasant and she seemed like a really nice person.

Second, I decided that I would chat online with someone before I rush and ask a stranger out to dinner.  I wasn’t yet aware of the feature where you could immediately chat with anyone else that is online at the same time.  I sent the same girl an email, which began a nice back-and-forth conversation.  Once I felt comfortable, I asked her to dinner.  She said yes!

We went to a quasi-fancy Italian restaurant, and it was quasi-expensive.  We both ordered spaghetti, and it was quasi-tasty.  The entire night had an awkward tinge to it.  I don’t think there’s any way to meet a person for the first time after talking online for so long and not feel a little uncomfortable.  If there is, maybe that is love.

Though there was never a second date, I left the first date feeling just fine.  The one date fulfilled all the social and food requirements I needed for the night.  Though I did want to see her again, she apparently did not.  Since I had nothing to lose, I asked her why she didn’t want to see me.  She responded by saying that though I was a nice guy, I mentioned bodily functions too much.  Who knew?