You click with a JDater, go out on a couple dates and a photo op presents itself. So you snap away and capture the moment on film, er, your iPhone. But what now? What do you do with said photo? It’s super cute, you look great, your date is hot, but who is going to see it? You’re not an official couple yet so you can’t post it on Facebook. So what do you with this symbol of, well, potential?
Many years ago pre-Mrs., I had my first Facebook break-up where I had to un-tag and remove photos of me and an ex. That wasn’t fun. And as quick as I was, and as Facebook-savvy as I was in deleting any News Feed items, I still wished I had kept that non-relationship under wraps a little while longer. I had learned my lesson. Until it was more serious I would not be publicizing any romantic endeavors.
When I met my husband we took photo after photo. And I stored each photo until we became official. First, I printed out the pictures and carried them around with me. I would sneak glances at them and smile, and when people would ask me why I was quitting my job and moving halfway around the world, I would proudly flash the 5x7s. Finally, we discussed becoming Facebook official (it was a quick conversation — the answer was yes from the both of us) and then I finally posted them on Facebook… and printed and framed them to display in our new shared apartment.
Take it slow. A simple act such as posting an innocent photo can start a conversation you may not be ready to have.
under Date Night
You’re all dressed up and about to walk out the door when your date calls and cancels. You’re super bummed, not just because you got bailed on, but because you don’t want to miss the new restaurant/hot band/comedy show you were scheduled to go to. Why not go by yourself? Don’t let someone else ruin your night! Plaster a smile on that face and go! Why should you stay in and mope because someone else is sick/a jerk/rude? In fact, since you’re looking all hot and sexy, plus you’ve got that smile plastered on your face and you’re confident in your alone-ness, you will probably attract new people. And don’t look at your cell phone the entire time! Enjoy your surroundings (food, music, laughter) and while you’re people watching, maybe strike up a conversation. You never know who you’ll meet!
Nearly all my single girlfriends are on JDate and that means they often meet the same guy. They each have their type so it’s not usually a problem, plus they are all understanding if one of them hits it off with a guy they had gone on a date with or were interested in. Very rarely is there an issue. Except when there is.
One of my girlfriends starting dating a guy she met on JDate and although the new relationship was slowly progressing, she certainly didn’t have any claim to him. Unfortunately there was a party he went to where, unbeknownst to him, he met her girlfriends and flirted with one of them. It happens, the community is small and there was no way for any of them to know. Where do the loyalties lie?
I was watching Friends with Benefits with (hot Jew!) Mila Kunis and couldn’t help but laugh out loud when the guy snuck out after sleeping with her on their 5th date. The problem is, she had actually told him about her 5 date rule, so why was she surprised when he was a perfect gentleman up until, and only until, then?
We all have our wonky rules about when a guy needs to call by for a date, or when we’ll kiss or, like the movie, when you’ll sleep together. That’s fine and totally understandable, but keep that info to yourself or just discuss it with your friends. By telling your date about your tests and rules, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You’ve basically laid down the gauntlet and who doesn’t like a challenge? But once that challenge has been fulfilled, you’ve set the stage for failure because nothing will be as thrilling.
under Date Night
Winter is such a great time for cozying up with a new love. It’s cold outside, so you hold hands. It’s toasty inside, so you cuddle up under a blanket by the fire. Being cold is romantic, take advantage of it.
Make note when your date offers his jacket or rubs your hands to warm them up. Make note when your date lets you stand under the umbrella or drops you off in front while he drives looking for a parking spot. Take the opportunity when you’re sitting together under the blanket to play footsie. Sip hot chocolate, make soup, bake something. Cold weather can suck, but it’s the best time of year to start a relationship.