Texting Not Talking

by GemsFromJen under JBloggers,Relationships

Dear Gems from Jen,

I have been seeing a man for the past six weekends. He prefers to text conversations and rarely calls. If I call him, it is not often that he will pick up the phone. I told him that I was a bit frustrated with texting and the way we were communicating.

His reply “If I am causing you pain then I’ll back off.” I just simply said, “Do you want to call this time?” He replied, “Yes.” However, it’s still text, text and text.

Ouch!

Dear Texting Not Talking,

I completely understand your frustration! In my opinion, there is something missing when texting is the main form of communication. Texting allows our own interpretations to take charge of what is really being said. There really is no substitute for a phone call. If this guy is not willing to communicate in a manner that you feel comfortable with then I agree; you have made the right decision regarding giving this relationship some time. Texting once in awhile is fine, but to have that as the main form of communication equals very little communication. It sounds to me as if he might not be the best match for you. Keep up the search on JDate and make it clear in your profile that communication is of the utmost importance to you. Hope this helps!

Signed,
Gems from Jen

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First Date; Cold Feet?

by GemsFromJen under JBloggers,JDate,Online Dating

Dear Gems from Jen,

I met a guy online and we have been corresponding through Instant Messenger, Email, phone calls and texting for about the past month.  We still have yet to meet each other in person, which seems a little odd to me.  We do have different work schedules, so it is hard to figure out when we can get together, but I of course suggested that we meet for coffee sometime and that way we can at least meet for a little bit. However, he says that he really wants us to meet for a half day, so that we can spend a lot of time together.  I don’t quite get it. I would think that if he really wanted to meet me, a little time is better than none.  I’m not sure if I should bother communicating with this guy any longer. What do you think?

Dear First Date,

I agree with you, it does seem a little odd. It sounds as if the two of you have both agreed to meet and for some reason unknown to us, he is not willing to even meet for a quick cup of coffee. I’m not so sure there is anything else you can do at this point. He either wants to meet or he doesn’t. Do yourself a favor and keep your profile active on JDate.  Continue to look at profiles and correspond with those that spark your interest.  Don’t wait around for a guy that is unwilling to commit to a first meeting.

Signed,

Gems from Jen


What Happened?

by GemsFromJen under JBloggers,Relationships

Dear Gems from Jen,
I started emailing back and forth with this guy. We totally hit it off and could not wait to meet each other. We met last Monday night for drinks and immediately connected. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday we texted each other all day long and spoke at night on the phone. He made tentative plans with me for Friday, but said he had to take care of something so he asked if I wanted to meet on Saturday night and I accepted. We texted Friday evening back and forth all evening and then around midnight I answered a question he asked me and he did not answer back. I thought maybe he fell asleep (he did that one night and apologized profusely). Saturday morning came and I never heard from him. I called him and left a voicemail and still nothing. I texted him later to say I was concerned and wanted to know if he was ok…still nothing. I texted him Sunday morning to tell him how baffled I was to not hear from him considering he claimed to be a very up front and straight forward person. I thought we had connected on so many levels and so did he. So, I am asking…what happened here?

Dear What Happened,
I’m truly sorry this happened to you.  No one deserves this type of treatment. I know it can seem confusing, especially when the two of you seemed to have hit it off so well. Unless there was a real emergency there is no excuse for this behavior. Consider yourself lucky that you did not get any further with this guy.
I wish I had an answer for why this happened. It could be so many things that I don’t even want to speculate.  Just realize this is about him, not you. It is cowardly not to explain. Think of it this way; do you want to date someone who is not willing to even let you know he is not going to follow-through with the plans he made with you? He told you he was a straight forward person. Now you know right off the bat that he was not honest with you.  Most guys are not like this so don’t let this experience deter you. Keep up the search and chalk this up to one bad seed in the bunch.
Signed,
Gems from Jen

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