Watching Bachelorette Emily blindside and dump d-bag Arie made it easy to think of the topic for this post. The second Emily said he wasn’t the one, Arie turned cold and harsh. He didn’t want to talk, he wasn’t going to make her feel better and he was done. She thought he may want to ask more or fight for her or say something, but he was done, he didn’t want to draw it out. He gave her a hug, said “Good Luck” and left. Some people felt bad for him, others thought it only solidified his sketchiness. In his defense, he was totally blind-sided and she wasn’t very direct.
So it got me thinking, is there a “right” way to react to an in-person break-up speech? Do you want to be that person who keeps pushing and prodding for an answer that will make you feel better? Because nothing is going to make you feel better. You were just dumped. That sucks. Rejection stings. So are you going to go out with your head held high or are you going to grovel and try to convince the person to change their mind or are you going to get stark, raving mad and start cussing?
Really, at the end of the day, that person doesn’t want to be with you and it doesn’t matter why. You do not want to be with a person who doesn’t want to be with you. So as much as it hurts, thank the person for being honest, wish them luck in finding their Beshert and do so with a smile on your face no matter how forced. It would be okay to ask “Why?” once, but only once. Don’t ask if there’s anyone else, don’t ask if they want to be special friends, don’t ask what advice they have for you for future relationships. Wish them luck, tell them you had a nice time while it lasted, express appreciation for their honesty and go, get off the phone or walk away.
Note: this is advice for relationships that are less than one year old.